Countdown to Martian Orgy Crisis!

So, DC has given the internet a new teaser image for Countdown and it's full of all sorts of clues as to what's coming up. And I'm going to break the code for part of the picture and, in the process, blow your mind.

What I find interesting is that the Martian Manhunter has a knife. Why does a shapeshifter need a knife? I find the possibilities truly engaging and terrifying. What threat exists where a shapeshifter can only use a knife to combat it? Or, is the knife really part of J'onn? Did he just make a knife come out of his hand? If he did that, why is it stained? Can't he just get rid of any stains himself? Or does he like having what I assume is blood on the knives he makes out of himself? And why is he behind the Joker and Catwoman? Is that the blood of Batman's enemies and these two are next? Has J'onn become a serial killer of bad guys? Is he all insane in the membrane, which is why he uses a knife? Is too cazy to remember he's a shapeshifter? Is that why he doesn't, you know, just fry their brains with shapeshifter-powered telepathy and is using a knife? What about the Penguin, then? He's all the way on the other side of the picture--is he next after Joker and Catwoman? Did these guys hurt Batman? Is J'onn secretly in love with Batman and being all protective of his one true love? Do Martians have the same male/female distinctions we do? Does J'onn care about appearances and just loves Bruce for his mind? Does he pretend to be various billionaire-groupies so he can get some quality time with "Little Bruce"? (By the way, I used to watch this show called Eros, which was a show about sex. Like talking about it and segments and various acitivities/topics. One of the show's regular commentators revealed in one episode that he named his penis Bruce. Ever since then, I've never been able to look at Batman the same way.) Is that why he's called the Martian Manhunter? Has J'onn always been about the cock? Are his stories about a wife and kid a lie because he knew humans were prejudiced against homosexuals? Does the knife symbolise J'onn erect, sexually frustrated penis? Is killing Batman's enemies a form of sexual excitement for him? Does he associate their blood with semen? Will the crisis wind up being angry shapeshifting Martian on a rampage after he's rejected by Gotham playboy? While Marvel argues over politics, DC argues over love? Is there anything more scary than a rejected shapeshifter? Will J'onn alter Batman's brain so his love his returned? Will J'onn alter everyone's brains so they all love him? Will he travel across themultiverse, spreading his Martian love waves and making everyone love him? Will the Monitors need Ray Palmer to shrink down and shoot J'onn's brain up to shit like future-Atom did in Morrison's "Rock of Ages" storyline to Darkseid? And when it's all over, will Lex Luthor be pissed off because, once again, the superheroes have killed someone he's loved, not knowing that J'onn MADE Lex love him along with everyone else, while the other villains are all "Shit, Lex is gay for the green Martian! Loser!"? Is this all just a countdown to a Martian Orgy Crisis?

And that's how I cracked the code of the picture. Your move, DC.