I have seen the future and it involves comics (Marvel and DC solicits for November)

Back in Windsor and I totally didn't write any of that Automatic Kafka essay while in London. I suck.

But, here's my monthly look at DC and Marvel's solicits.

DC's solicits

* Countdown becomes Countdown to Final Crisis and I still don't care. Nor do the dozens upon dozens of tie-in titles impress me. Somewhere, Dan Didio is crying.

* I am strangely looking forward to Death of the New Gods. I've never been a huge Starlin fan, but my dad has a lot of his stuff and it's always good. The man knows cosmic and the fact that he's describing the series as part mercy killing rings true. Seriously, has anyone besides Grant Morrison done anything semi-interesting with these characters lately? (And, honestly, even some of Morrison's stuff has been lame. Mister Miracle was definitely the worst of the Seven Soldiers series.)

* "Part 1 of Frank Miller’s & Jim Lee’s two-fisted thrill ride ends here, yet it’s only just begun!" How much more of the Goddamn Batman are we going to get? I hope to see a trade solicited soon, because I'm all over this series. I have a feeling that I will love it, mostly as a parody and flat-out comedy in a similar vein to The Dark Knight Strikes Again. Frank Miller can't seem to take these characters seriously anymore and who can blame him?

* The real question is: since I'm buying Batman, will I buy all of the books that tell the "Resurrection of Ra’s al Ghul" storyline? Fucking DC and crossovers.

* While in London, I bought the first and second seasons of Boston Legal on DVD because my friend/new-roommate-in-a-couple-of-weeks is always praising it. The lack of JSA in November reminds me that last night, I became convinced that what that book needs is a Denny Crane character: an old guy who used to be great, but is now declining more and more, but is able to continue to trade on his name and former greatness, protected by his colleagues who don't want him to become a public laughing stock. No one is buying a team with a bunch of old people who can actually do shit. I've met numerous old people and they can barely walk, usually. Every time I'm on the bus, it takes them, like, five minutes to get on and off. Seeing them fight crime with young people stretches realism. I don't care which old hero begins to lose it, one should.

* Why no "All-New" preface on the latest Atom trade?

* What the fuck is with all of DC's trades being advance-solicits? The only trades I see here that I can buy in November are relists, meaning I can buy them right now. What the fuck? Like I'm going to remember what trades I read about online in August when December and January comes around. I'll barely remember what comics I want by then.

* Remember when Image released issue 25 of various series, like, a year or two before issue 25 was scheduled to come out back in the '90s? Well, Wildstorm is doing that again, except with one-shot specials about the end of the world. Meaning, Wildstorm is doing a lamer version of that.

* Dear god, can we put an end to all Abbey Road homages? It's been done to death.

* Holy shit, the New Gods toys have Kirby squiggles on them. That is so awesome.

Marvel's solicits

* From the solicit for Ultimate Origin #1: "From the dark days of World War II to the frightening present, journey through history to learn what's really behind the Super Soldier and Weapon X programs–and how heroes such as Captain America, Nick Fury and Wolverine have more in common than codenames and costumes." Wait--"Nick Fury" is a codename? BENDIS JUST BLEW MY MIND!

* Um, what the fuck is up with the cover to Ultimates Saga? The Scarlet Witch looks ready to RAWK OUT! and the less said about the Hulk's face, the better. What the fuck?

* Hmm, does the fact that the artist of The Avengers: Initiative annual #1 is "TBA" concern anyone else? Is it that Marvel didn't have an artist as of the solicits being released or is it going to be some BIG announcement?

* Shit, I guess I had better buy the Captain Marvel mini, because five bucks says Noh-Varr shows up by issue three. And, yeah, I hated what Reed and Bendis have done with him, but I AM A SUCKER FOR THAT KREE BASTARD. I have problems.

* Immortal Iron Fist #11: "Cover by Travel Foreman" What the fuck happened to David Aja doing covers? His covers have all been amazing and far better than most of the shit on the shelves.

* I haven't read any of those Franklin Richards comics, but this cover is all kinds of awesome.

* Is it just me or does the idea behind What If? Annihilation sound a lot cooler than everything Marvel has done for the past year? Got to love it when the fake story sounds much more entertaining that what really happened. Note that it also seems to lack an artist. Marvel doesn't seem to know who's drawing their comics anymore.

* The companion omnibus to Frank Miller's Daredevil run is a really great idea on Marvel's part.

* I will buy the Ultimates 2 hardcover and the Civil War scriptbook despite not being a fan of Mark Millar. The former because, well, it will at least be pretty and I'm curious to read it with the first volume. The latter, because, I am very curious about the scripts to that series. Especially how many times Millar actually uses hype WHILE WRITING THE SCRIPT.

And that's what November looks like. Yay.