Goddamn comics.

Along with some blah comics, I picked up X-Statix: Good Omens for ten bucks yesterday. Remember X-Force/X-Statix? Peter Milligan and Mike Allred doing the mutant corner of Marvel and addressing superhero celebrity at the same time? Doesn't that seem forever ago? I remember the day I picked up the hardcover collecting their entire X-Force run back in my first year of university. I also got a "Murder Me Dead" t-shirt that day and I loved that t-shirt. Never read the comic, but that t-shirt was cool. I wish they'd put the X-Statix stuff in those deluxe hardcovers instead of just trades. How weird is it that I would already own this stuff if it were in more expensive hardcovers? I just love those deluxe hardcovers, of which I learned today via one of the online shopping sites I was looking at that the hardcover collecting Ultimates 2 will be out in December just in time for Christmas. Yippie.

Anyway . . .

X-Statix is what X-Force became at the same time Cable became Soldier X and Deadpool became Agent X. And, seriously, all three (six?) of those books were really good. What was the last X-book you read? I here X-Factor is decent and that one issue I read was great, but I just never seem to pick up the trades. I will. But, besides X-Factor, any X-books with any sort of critical buzz? Any at all? I didn't think so.

In Good Omens, the newly christened X-Statix need to recruit a couple of new members, overcome personal issues and contend with O-Force, the newest mutant supercelebrityhero team. And there's this kid named Arnie that's all insane in the membrane and is controlling an entire town with his mind. It's a real good, you should get it.

My only complaint is that the art to part five is done by Paul Pope instead of Allred, and that's only a complaint in that "doesn't jive with the previous four parts" sense as Pope's art is great. I haven't read anything of his really, although I always hear good things. I'm also digging the pun name of his new book, Pulphope. I'm not usually a pun guy, but that is some clever shit right there.

You know what cracks me up? The discussion over Guy Smith's codename: he started out as Mr. Sensitive and then became The Orphan--and in this collection, he and Arnie briefly debate which is a better superhero name when they're both so lame. But then again, most superhero names are lame. Except for Iron Fist. Iron Fist is a cool fucking name.

There's also a cool moment where two of the members of the group (I forget their names--the nerdy wolf guy and the wigger blobby guy) deal with their media ploy of pretending to be lovers--only to later come to the conclusion that, yes, they are both gay, they just aren't attracted to one another. And how in the world is a woman made of energy filling up a suit sexy? Her "beauty" is cloth! I'm just saying that it baffles me is all.

I'm drinking a bottle of orange pop right now and, in Canada, they need to put any language on packaging in English and French because they're the official languages, so on pop bottles, you usually get the logo twice with the text in English and French. But, for this, you get the same thing twice as orange is orange in French. Weird. Rasin is grape, by the way. I can't remember what cream soda is.

If you had powers that let you control people and matter with your mind, would you become a crazy tyrant? I know I would. That's the sad truth: we all read these comics full of people with powers and responsibility and think we'd be good like them when, really, not many of us would. I mean, my god, if you were Superman, would you wait in line for stuff? No one would wait in line if they could help it, because waiting in line sucks. I think that may just be my biggest problem with superhero comics: anyone who waits in line. I'm telling you, on those cold winter days when the line at the Tim Horton's is half a kilometre, do I feel like standing there for fifteen minutes to get my French vanilla cappuccino? Or in those giant student loan pick-up lines? No, it would be "Fuck you all, I'm the goddamn Superman."

That should totally be Frank Miller's next project. Once Grant Morrison and Franky Quitely are done with All-Star Superman, Miller should take over just so we can get The Goddamn Superman. Fuck, if he keeps doing that, will we call his little universe of DC stories the Goddamn DC Universe? That would be classic. It would be worth it just for this exchange:

Superman: Earth-G? What's the "G" stand for?

Goddamn Superman: Goddamn. Now, out of my way, spermdumpster, I'm the Goddamn Superman!

Goddamn, I'm bored today.