Blogathon 25: Uncanny X-Men #405

Half-way mark. Whoo. Twelve hours down, twelve more to go.

I think the next music I'll listen to will be the Hives. If that isn't music to get you excited and ready to post some shit, I don't know what is.

In part five of the X-Corps storyline, the X-Trio force Banshee to tell them about Lady Mastermind and get all judgemental about it. Like the X-Men have never kidnapped a telepath, stuck it in a container of liquid and forced it to mind-control people. Oh wait, they haven't! Hey, the X-Trio actually have some moral high ground!

Stacy is using her pheramone powers on Corbo, who has a force field around him, except the bad guys show up, kill him and then the Blob beats on her. Why does the Blob like to beat women? Because it makes him feel like a big man, that's why.

And someone is attacking Paris using X-Corps helicopters that . . . Multiple Man is flying. Everything is falling apart because the bad guys, they're going to kill Paris. The X-Men put aside their objections and join forces with Banshee to get the problem solve.

Nightcrawler finds Chamber unconscious in the Blackbird and then it blows up. Warren is convinced they survived and gets himself a gun so he can kill him some evil mutants. Stacy wakes up and is pissed off. And Multiple Man turns into Mystique, who stabs Banshee in the throat. Apparently Mystique was the evil influence inside the X-Corps.

This issue honestly isn't that bad, because by this point, all of the potential has already been killed and there's nothing left to do except see this shit out.

Although, the plane blowing up while the heroes are inside and Mystique turning out to be the evil influence? Cliches! Recycled ideas! And the Mystique one will never actually make any sense! Because villains don't need motives!

In 30, the end of the X-Corps storyline. Thank god.

And weirdly enough, the second BBC Sessions disc ended just now. See, gotta love Zeppelin. They had excellent timing.

Blogathon 24: Uncanny X-Men #404

Thinking after the second disc of BBC Sessions ends, I'll stop with the Zeppelin. Although, everyone saw the news of the new two-disc "best of" set plus rereleases of The Song Remains the Same (film and soundtrack), right? The "best of" seems unnecessary in the sense that they already released a two-disc "best of" a few years back. Only they released it one disc at a time and then offered them together. And, strangely enough, the track listing isn't THAT different. But I'll buy it anyway, because I'm a sucker. Same with The Song Remains the Same (film and soundtrack), mostly because my CD copy is old and the sound isn't good, plus BONUS songs! I love me the bonus songs.

On with the comic: part four of the X-Corp storyline and we've got Sean Phillips on art and this issue reads better than any other issue of the run. Gee, wonder why. I remember Casey saying post-Uncanny X-Men how he kept fighting to get Phillips on as permanent artist because they'd developed a good relationship over on Wildcats. Remember what I said about the X-editors before?

Chamber goes around in Lady Mastermind's mind and she rambles on in weird ways, which makes sense because it is inside her head. She does tell Chamber to develop his telepathic skills more, which makes sense as he does communicate via telepathy. He probably never thought about that.

Archangel questions Sunpyre, a mutant scientist working for the X-Corps, about Abyss, a mutant currently being contained. He's all "Are you holding him against his will?" as if the X-Men never do that to mutants who may be uable to control their powers. Seriously, these guys are just assholes the entire story.

The leader of those bigots claims he killed Surge on TV, which doesn't jive with Surge killing the whole lot of them last issue. What's going on?

Banshee sends the girls to take the bigots down and it turns into an all-out brawl with the girls and Multiple Man (all however many dozen of him) on one side and the bigots on the other. Not a tough fight. But, the X-Men freak out when Banshee is a little rough on one of the bigots and screams at him in his Banshee voice. I mean, the X-Men never get too rough with people do they? It's not like they let Wolverine just take one of those priests from the Church of Humanity out to his cabin with the excuse "Best not to think about it," right?

I think what frustrates me the most about this story is that the X-Trio act like total hypocrites the entire story and then they get to be right. That's just shitty storytelling.

Anyway, Sunpyre is killed, Chamber overhears Lady Mastermind talking to some woman and, at the end, the mind-controlled bad guys are free and ready to kill people. Oh, and Surge is alive.

Me, I wonder why they'd want to be evil. I mean, Banshee is supposedly paying them some good money (unless that was a lie). Why not do good and earn some cash instead of being a dick and going to jail? Criminals are stupid, I guess.

Blogathon 21: Uncanny X-Men #401

I've said the whole "'Nuff Said" gimmick by Marvel in early 2002 was really fucking dumb a few times before, but I'll say it again here as we get the first part of the X-Corps storyline, but without any words. Basically, Banshee does some stuff, Lady Mastermind does some stuff before being kidnapped by Multiple Man, Stacy has sex with Bill Clinton (although, if I remember from the full script when it was online, Casey wanted Rudy Giuliani, but post-9/11 can't mess with "America's mayor") until Wolverine breaks into the house and fights her and then Banshee screams at the Blob. Who fucking cares. The art by Ron Garney is passable.

In other news, the new Amazing Spider-Man creators have been announced and I'm left feeling underwhelmed. The artists are all big names, but the writers leave me cold. But, I was one of the people holding out hope Matt Fraction would be among the creators. My own fault there.

Finished the studio albums by Zeppelin (skipped Coda, though). Now on the first disc of BBC Sessions, which includes three version of "Communication Breakdown," all different and all great. Is that what Casey was going for in his run? Doing cover versions of old stories? Being a musician, it's not outside the realm of possibility, I guess. Warren Ellis talked about the Ultimate line in terms of covers and remixes, so it would make sense. But, is the problem that narrative forms of art don't work that way? Is that why the books failed? Or should Casey have done more pure covers, doing stories exactly as done before? Food for thought.

Blogathon 17: Uncanny X-Men #398

In my third year of undergrad, I took a special topics course on James Joyce's Ulysses. However, it was only one semester. Most of the classes at UWO, in English and poli-sci at leat, were full-year courses (aka two semesters). So taking a one-semester course was a little weird for me, especially when it came to scheduling my second semester for that year. So, I ended up taking the special topics course offered that semester since it was at the same time, on the same days and in the same room as the Ulysses class. It was on Arthurian legend and it bored the fuck out of me most of the time.

There were only two things that made it interesting for me:

1. Thinking about the narrative concepts at work and how they apply to comics.

2. Doing readings while listening to "Achilles' Last Stand" by Led Zeppelin. I wrote in one of my journal reports (lame assignment) that having that song on while reading about a battle made the whole thing work twenty times better.

But, I bring up this class because of the first point. One of the interesting things about Arthurian texts and medieval readers was that the goal wasn't to create something new, but to retell the same stories with slight changes. The fun of these stories was hearing what you've heard before only slightly different. Tell me that doesn't fit exactly in line with comics and, well, Casey's Uncanny X-Men run.

"Poptopia" wraps up with Chamber getting dumped, Wolverine killing Mr. Clean and everyone returning to the US all fine and dandy.

Apparently rumours that Sugar Kane is pregnant with a mutant bady pushes things a little too far, so her manager arranges for her to be kidnapped by government agents so she can be "checked out" and publicly declared mutie free.

The Sugar Kane plot ends with a very interesting speech she gives Jono (Chamber's real name) in a parking garage where she talks about how she had to evolve or die, career-wise. When Casey was promoting this book, he discussed the idea of evolving quite a bit, but he ended up doing what Kane did: replaying old cliches. Nothing Kane does to evolve is actually new: she finds an outcast and dates him, giving herself a "bad girl" image, while Casey recycles old plots. Again, the fact that it works for Kane and not Casey illustrates the difference between music and comics.

Ashley Wood provides the art here and it's about as easy-to-follow as his art's ever been. Maybe Sean Phillips doing layouts helped.

All in all, this story accomplished very little. Reused plots that went nowhere; characters with no growth; mis-mashed art. But, I always got the feeling like it SHOULD be a great arc, like Casey was going for something cool, he just failed.

In 30 minutes, we take a trip to the X-Ranch, which is one of the two coolest ideas that Casey throws out in this run.

Blogathon 13: Uncanny X-Men #394

I may be the person who's read Joe Casey's run on Uncanny X-Men the most. I've read it at least four times. I'm betting that's got to be a record. (Okay, it almost certainly isn't, but roll with me, people.) To understand why this mediocre run is seen as such a failure, you have to think back to 2001 when it was announced that Grant Morrison and Joe Casey were taking over the X-books. I mean, holy shit, Grant Morrison and Joe Casey. The guy who brought JLA back from the dead and the hot rising star, both of which ooze coolness the way the rest of us sweat. That right there is why a simply mediocre run is now looked upon as utter shit. Casey had to compete with Morrison and it seemed like once he realised this, he didn't even bother to try, knowing he would lose.

#394 is an interesting book in that it was the first issue of the relaunch to come out and doesn't actually feature the cast of Casey's X-Men squad really. The issue has Cyclops (Morrison), Jean Grey (Morrison), Wolverine (Morrison and Casey) and Archangel (Casey). Therefore, it's a little "pump you up" issue that doesn't do that, because it sucks all kinds of ass.

Some tattooed, newly-turned-18 mutant named Warp Savant attacks Cape Citadel, the same military base Magneto attacked in (Uncanny) X-Men #1. Why? Because he's young, dumb and ready to come alive, motherfuckers! WHOO!

His mutant power is to absorb things into his mind, which he does to Wolverine and Jean, while Cyclops and Archangel kick his ass until he decides to absorb himself or something. Oh, and Wolverine and Jean kiss.

That's about it. Pretty stupid, eh?

Wrong, it's brilliant, but flawed. This is the beginning Casey's major theme for his run: pop eats itself. Casey will reuse old ideas over and over again and do nothing with them, because why bother? He writes the X-book that X-fans clearly want: one with the same stories, the same characters, the same everything, nothing new, nothing interesting, just blah blah blah. Morrison did a similar riff, but also did a lot of a cool, original stuff. Not Casey. And that's why his run is a brilliant falure. Not much fun to read, but a hoot--no, a hoot-and-a-half--to talk about.

In this issue, we have our Magneto stand-in do what Magneto did: attack humans for no good reason. The look of Warp Savant is even a play on Magneto's look at the tattoo on Savant's face, an "M" (for Magneto and mutant) also looks like the image of Magneto's helmet. Archangel shows up with a big gun, just like he looks on the cover of (Uncanny) X-Men #1. Jean has telekinesis again, because that's how she began. It's all utterly mediocre the way that (Uncanny) X-Men #1 was.

Cyclops' first line is "SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE." While Morrison's New X-Men run begins with Cyclops telling Wolverine to stop beating on a Sentinel, representing that he can stop being that character that he's always been, indicating change, forward-thinking, all that kewl stuff, Casey tells us that nothing revolutionary will happen.

And he keeps his promise.

(I love how "Houses of the Holy" appears on Physical Graffiti and not Houses of the Holy.)

Blogathon 12: Oh to be at Comic-Con now that summer is here

Well, Comic-Con is upon us once again and while there is a shitload of news coming out of it, how much of it interesting?

Not much.

I don't think anything from the first day really interested me and the only thing that had me going "Really? Cool!" from yesterday was the news that Warren Ellis will be writing Astonishing X-Men: Second Stage and even that didn't really wow me. Although, the interview with Ellis is pretty entertaining. Simone Bianchi on art is an added bonus. Although, as they mention, this is the first major franchise Ellis has worked on in a direct way--aka not a mini or an offshoot title that doesn't count or a fill-in--and part of me thinks that this is one of the two major franchises I could see him doing well on for an extended period of time. The other is Batman. Any of the others, he could probably do an arc, but beyond that, it would fall apart. Although, after his JLA Classified story, I would love to see him take on Superma just for the Clark/Lois stuff.

I found the whole Dark Knight viral campaign stuff interesting in that I don't actually see the point. Does anyone really think that this movie is NOT going to do insanely well at the box-office? We're talking about a sequel to one of the best-received superhero movies. Hell, I liked Batman Begins, which is saying a lot. It seems like a lot of time and energy spent on something that doesn't need it. But, hey, not my time or energy, so what do I care?

I am a little disappointed to learn that Jude Law won't be Ozymandis in Watchmen. I'm not the biggest Law fan, but he would have knocked that out of the park. The fact that the woman playing the Silk Spectre's only notable role is of the woman in Harold and Kumar go to White Castle who's married to the ugly redneck and offers to fuck the guys also has me shaking my head. But, hey, I could be wrong.

Grant Morrison and JG Jones are handling Final Crisis, which actually makes it sound almost interesting. I'm getting Marvel Boy chills over those two reuniting. It's a shame that all interest may be killed by the time the Countdown finishes. I wonder if getting Morrison to write it was a response to the general hatred of everything Countdown. Since Paul Dini is masterminding Countdown, wouldn't you think he'd handle Final Crisis?

Mark Waid is editor-in-chief of Boom! Studios. Ever since CrossGen, it was pretty obvious that Waid wanted to be in a position where he could do what he wants and not have to answer to anyone. Good for him.

Darwyn Cooke leaving The Spirit a year earlier than planned is interesting from an observor/intellectual stand-point for me. It would probably mean more if I liked the guy's work (I do like his art, but his writing leaves me cold). But, always fun to see a creator leave a book because of editorial bullshit.

I gather that today we'll get some good news. There's already been mention of Jeph Loeb's Ultimate universe crossover, "Ultimatum," but I'm hoping for some Amazing Spider-Man news. Or will that be saved for Chicago, do you think?

(Everybody, do "The Crunge!" Zeppelin at its funkiest! I think this would be one of the funnest Zeppelin songs to sing karaoke to. "The Immigrant Song" would be fun for the little scream you get to do. The Spoke, an eatery/pub at UWO, where I did my undergrad, has karaoke and looking at the list, they have four Zeppelin songs: "D'yer Mak'er," "Heartbreaker/Livin Lovin Maid," "Kashmir" and "When the Levee Breaks." Wow, those last two are just horrible karaoke songs, aren't they? They're looooooong and involve lots of non-singing time "D'yer Mak'er" could be good, though.)

Blogathon 08: And now for a word from our sponsors

Well, let's take a little break from Mr. Majestic, shall we?

Remember, you can sponsor me by clicking on the sheep on the right. All money will go to the Alzheimer's Society of Canada, but for now, all you need to do is give your name and e-mail address, plus whatever pledge you want to make. After this is all over, you'll get an e-mail telling you how to fulfill it. Pledges will be accepted until 11:59 pm EST Tuesday night (well, really 12:00 am Wednesday, but saying is always confusing), so there's plenty of time.

I chose the Alzheimer's Society of Canada not because of any family member afflicted with the disease, but because it scares the fuck out of me. Alzheimer's is the only disease that just outright terrifies me. I think it's because so much of my identity is tied up in being the smart guy. Ever since grade three or four, I've been the smart guy and the idea of a disease that takes away your brain in the most horrible way scares me like nothing else. Kind of a selfish way to look at it probably, but that's why I picked that charity.

I'm currently listening to Led Zeppelin III, which is a highly underrated Zeppelin album. Of the first four, it's probably the one that gets the least notice, but it's got a great blend of electric and acoustic stuff. Although, I would say Led Zeppelin II is my favourite. I mean, come on, we're talking about an album with "Whole Lotta Love," "The Lemon Song," "Thank You," "Heartbreaker," "Ramble On" and "Moby Dick." "Moby Dick," people! A motherfucking drum solo song that is amazing to listen to!

But, Led Zeppelin III needs more respect. It's a bit softer at times, but it's got some kickass songs. "Gallow's Pole" just came on and, shit, how can you not love this song? Later, there's "Tangerine," which, along with "Thank You," is probably the sweetest Zeppelin song.

My sub was good. Last week, I got honey mustard instead of regular mustard and I can't decide which I prefer more on a roast beef sub. Both are quite good. I guess it depends on if I'm in the mood for something sweet or not.

And we'll return to the last three issues of Mr. Majestic in 30 with cosmic fun coming atcha!

Blogathon 04: Mr. Majestic #3

More Mr. Majestic and don't forget, you can sponsor me by clicking the sheep. All money goes to the Alzheimer's Society of Canada.

Well, since we've passed ten am, I figure it's late enough in the morning to put some music on, so we're going to be listening to Led Zeppelin all day. Nothing says marathon blogging for charity like Zep. I was torn between this and Neil Young. Who knows, since I'm here all day, there's a good chance I'll blow through the entire Zeppelin catalogue.

Anyway . . .

Issue three of Mr. Majestic is a fun issue. Our fearless hero goes to the movies with Maxine "Ladytron" Manchester, his former WildC.A.T.S. teammate. Now, Maxine is a cyborg and, um, a little high-spirited? Okay, she swears like a trucker and has that pissed off "you fucking with me?" attitude, which plays perfectly with Majestic's reserved, stoic persona. Oh, and Maxine is also a nun in a robot religion, which leads to her mantra: "I'M A #@#@ING NUN!" Also, Majestic has the perfect outfit with a stripped sweater, coat and his usual headgear. The dude is a dork.

Maxine insists they see a "Man with No Name" type marathon at a local theatre, which Majestic disapproves of, because the films are violent with no social value. The whole evening gets disrupted when robot zealots show up to kill Maxine, because she still has human parts, an abomination to their faith or something.

This issue has my favourite Majestic moment where, during the movie, he finds an unpopped kernel of popcorn and looks at it. His eyes glow red for a couple of panels with a SSSS sound-effect and then in the last panel of the sequence, we get POP as the kernel pops in his fingers while Maxine says "JUST HOW ANAL ARE YOU, MAN?!" Everything you need to know about Majestic's personality is there: using heat vision to pop a kernel of popcorn while at the movies.

I really can't do the humour in this book justice, because it's packed full of it. Maxine is a fantastic character that Casey went on to use in Wildcats and he just gets this character (who was created by Alan Moore, by the way).

The sad thing about this issue is that it's the sort we'd get now as a buffer between storyarcs--and it wouldn't have nearly as much of the funny. Goddamn, I miss this book. Seriously, how was it not selling a million copies?

(And, seriously, Led Zeppelin? Fucking awesome. Probably the best debut album from a band I can think of. Maybe The Velvet Underground and Nico would come close. Some would probably say Please Please Me by the Beatles, but, while good, isn't an AMAZING debut the way Zep and the VU's debuts were.)