Civil War V. Infinite Crisis

The question long on people's minds: "What was the better crossover event book, Infinite Crisis or Civil War?" Well, I have read both in their collected forms and am here to tell you once and for all.

Premise

Civil War: A bunch of kids die when Nitro the human bomb blows up near a school while fighting the New Warriors. As a result, the US congress passes legislation making it illegal to operate as a superpowered individual without government consent. Some heroes agree, some don't, so they fight each other.

Infinite Crisis: Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman all kind of hate each other. Things have gone to shit in the DCU, so the four survivors of the original Crisis return with the plan to restore the old Earth-2 as it was better. Plus, about a billion other things happen.

Winner: Civil War. The basic idea is very interesting and has a lot of possibilities--and is general enough for anyone to jump in on. IC's plot is very continuity-driven and asks that you know a lot about the DCU. Although, I do enjoy the metafictional aspect that discusses the direction of plots over the past decade.

Writing

Civil War: Here, we have Mark Millar and he does his best, but it falls short in a lot of places, I find. The pacing of the series feels rushed most of the time, like he was trying to cram too much in. Instead of telling a strong story, I get the sense that hitting various plot points was the goal--or, rather, including "cool scenes." A major plot point, like the Thing returning in the final chapter falls flat, because we're never told that he went anywhere. Or, when the Punisher shows up and mentions following them around in a ski mask--that would work much better if we had seen that more than once. There are a lot of cool ideas here, it's just they're flung together without a lot to hold them together.

One thing that bothered me is the "THINGS TURN UGLY:" overlay in the first issue. That's just an issue of consistency as those overlays are used throughout the rest of the series for locations or character names. It seems out of place and took me out of what I was reading. Same with the use of letters at times. They work to provide information, but the letter by Reed at the end has that "crappy movie wrap up" feel.

Millar's characters did nothing for me, for the most part. I would have liked to have seen a bigger discussion amongst pro-registration heroes who refused to fght against anti-registration heroes. I mean, come on, are you telling me more of them wouldn't have said "While I agree with this law, I'm not fighting Captain fucking America, Tony! Are you insane?" The viewpoints were too black-and-white with little talk in between the extreme positions. And while I agree with Spider-Man revealing his identity (in that it does make sense), I'm not sure his automatically fighting against Iron Man works. Again, it belies the extreme nature of the characters that would have worked years ago, but a lot of these characters know each other far too well to go from working together one day to beating the shit out of each other the next.

Infinite Crisis: Geoff Johns does the same thing as Millar, except it actually works in this series. Johns often gives flashes of different scenes for brief periods of time, but that adds to the idea that everything is falling apart at the same time. The premise of the series is that everything is going to shit at once, so piling fights and scenes of destruction on top of one another works in a way that it doesn't in Civil War, because that is much more of a character piece. Like Millar, though, I do think Johns relies on story points that are fully explored outside of the series. Especially in setting up the story. To understand what was going on, you needed to know about the four lead-in mini-series, the "Countdown" special and that Superman/Wonder Woman story. Millar does reference previous stories in Civil War, but only briefly and just in that "here are a couple of other examples of heroes fucking up" where knowing WHAT happened isn't as important as knowing that something bad happened--the details aren't necessary to grasp the meaning.

Johns' style is also much denser, which works well here. It allows him to tell such a big story without seeming like he's always rushing through it like Millar's writing sometimes feels like it is. Although, some plot points are jumped right over, like Superboy-Prime and the Flashes. When he comes back, it does little because he was barely gone.

Johns also has a few narrative problems, especially with Earth-2 Superman's voice-over narration, which comes and goes throughout the series depending on when it's convenient. Changing up how information is delivered to the reader works in ongoing series and sometimes in limited series if done in a consistent manner, but here it's just done willy-nilly with no reason. It's the sort of thing that's not as noticeable when reading the book monthly, but it shows in the collection.

Johns' use of characters, though, is quite well done. Each of the main characters has their own unique motivations and traits. As the story goes on, we learn more and more and care about them more.

Winner: Geoff Johns. Overall, I think Johns did a better job of telling a complete story with stronger characters--but not by much. It's more like Johns lost the least, honestly. Both series suffer greatly from not telling the story completely within its own pages, relying far too much on tie-in books to pick up the slack, when really those tie-in books should work around the main series.

Art

Winner: Rather than argue for each, I'm just going to come out and say I like the art in Infinite Crisis more. Yes, it takes four pencillers to do it, so it's not as consistent, but when those pencillers including Phil Jiminez, George Perez, and Jerry Ordway, it works because of similar styles. Ivan Reis's art does stand out as breaking the flow at points, I must admit. Steve McNiven's art on Civil War is solid, if you like that sort of thing. Personally, I can't stand the whole plastic-look of every character. They remind me of the plastic people in Grant Morrison's Mister Miracle series and it creeps me out! It's a pseudo-realistic style that TOO close because it's off just enough to remind you that it's not quite realistic, which is more jarring than a cartoony style.

Covers

Civil War: Steve McNiven on main covers with Michael Turner variants. I don't really like either artist, but McNiven's covers do have very good designs, plus the added bonus of the "Civil War" trade dress, which was probably one of the better designs used company-wide in a long time.

Infinite Crisis: George Perez and Jim Lee each do one cover each. I hate Lee's art about as much as I hate Turner's, so they cancel one another out. While I like Perez more than McNiven, the only Perez cover I actually like is the two Supermen fighting. The rest just fall flat.

Winner: Civil War.

Big Moments

Civil War: The registration act, Captain America and his rebels, Spider-Man reveals identity, Thor returns (seemingly), the death of Goliath, the Negative Zone prison, the new Thunderbolts, Spider-Man quits, the 50-state initiative, the final showdown with Captain America's surrender, and Tony Stark takes over S.H.I.E.L.D.

Infinite Crisis: The return of the four pre-Crisis characters, Paradise Island disappears, Superboy-Prime becomes a lunatic, the return of multiple earths, the death of Superboy, the creation of one earth, the final showdown with Superboy-Prime, a earth without the big three.

Winner: Civil War. It was a series built on big moments strung together.

Collections

Civil War: Bare bones. We get the series and covers. It's on better paper, but that makes it cost as much as the Infinite Crisis hardcover, except in Canada where it's somehow six bucks more. Expect more bonus material in the upcoming script book.

Infinite Crisis: actually, not a whole lot better. There's a new cover for the collection by Perez, which is good. There's also a round table discussion of the series with some of the people involved and touched-up art.

Winner: Infinite Crisis. Some bonus material is better than none. Plus, not price-gouging assholes.

Which One Did I Just Enjoy More

Okay, this is the only one that REALLY matters. Having read both, which did I enjoy more? Infinite Crisis. Because I am a person who looks for writing, the fact that IC read better, to me, made it more enjoyable. I really did feel that Johns structured his book better than Millar. Both had many of the same problems, but Johns had more go right for him. While Millar built in more "big moments," there wasn't much beyond them. Johns told a stronger story. I will admit, though, that Civil War made me want to see what comes next more than Infinite Crisis, but that's also because the end of Infinite Crisis was more definitive. Sure, there were a couple of loose threads, but that was much more in the "never-ending battle" nature of superheroes than Tony Stark's promise that the best is yet to come, which pretty much says "BUY WHAT COMES NEXT, BITCHES!" Civil War read too much like a set-up for a new status quo than a story unto itself, while Infinite Crisis was also a set-up for a new status quo, but did tell a complete story better.

That said, I wasn't actually that impressed with either. They both kind of read for shit when I tried to forget all of the details I knew because of what came next or what happened in other books. I pity anyone who tried to read either on their own, not knowing the histories of these characters or what was going on in other books. Both books should have been written as if they were the only ones telling the story, which neither did. Sure, as far as sales go, they were successes, but as stories? I'm not so sure.

We can drive it home with one headlight . . .

New comics. Let's dive right in.

Batman #665

Batman is afraid of ghosts. Seriously. Grant Morrison? Lost his fucking mind BECAUSE HE'S WRITING A BATMAN WHO'S AFRAID OF FUCKING GHOSTS.

But, it also starts with the best first-person narration of a Batman book in a while:

"Face down in my own blood and vomit in the pouring rain.

"Must

"Must be

"Must be a better way

"To strike terror

"into the hearts of criminals."

Still. Batman freaked out of his mind about a trio of ghosts.

The Ultimates 2 #13

I'll actually be buying the second volume in one of those deluxe Marvel hardcovers, but figured I'd grab this issue and judge it. It was just about what I expected: pretty art, some action, half-decent dialogue, a few nice character moments, total action flick.

Except, it was surprisingly light on the action. Sure, an eight-page spread is nice and all, but when compared to the fights I saw in the previous volume, this little war between Norse gods and trolls and giants and shit was over pretty damn quickly.

I'll reserve my final judgement for the hardcover.

New Avengers #30

So, Clint Barton is Ronin. *shrugs* Good enough for me.

I'm liking this Luke Cage. He's all paranoid and fucked up and acting exactly like a guy would in that situation. Everyone else is way too fucking calm and it plays well. Of course, I've been watching The Venture Bros. this week with a friend who'd never seen the show before and I can't take Dr. Strange seriously anymore. When he was doing his whole "magic spell that shows purity" I nearly pissed myself laughing because I imagined him saying it like Dr. Orpheus.

Otherwise, great issue.

Mighty Avengers #3

Okay, am I the only one who finds Tigra kind of creepy in that having sex with her is like fucking a giant lady-shaped cat? Same thing with Beast. Except I'm confused: is Tigra all hairy or is her skin just orange with black stripes? And why is Hank Pym such a dork here? He's been having sex with the Wasp on-and-off since the '60s-I think he can handle himself a little better than that.

Oh, and Ultron is kicking ass.

Still loving Bendis' use of thought balloons and the story is engaging with a final page that is just fantastic. I'm really glad I decided to buy the two Avengers books.

Thunderbolts #114

Well, isn't it great how the Thunderbolts squad totally sucks ass at capturing rogue superhumans? And so far, they've been up against GOOD GUYS. Imagine what would happen if they had to take on a villain willing to kill them.

Why the fuck didn't Penance do anything?

Lovely moment with the Swordsman and a TV.

This is a really entertaining book that shows just how well Ellis can do superhero action, even within the context of the larger Marvel universe--and proves, as I've argued for many years, who gives a fuck about a creator loving the characters as long as he/she is a professional?

The Immortal Iron Fist #5

So, it all comes down to Randall not wanting to fight against six other immortal weapons in some weird tournament and now Danny is totally fucked.

Past issues have moved a little slow, but this one picks up the pace, delivers the missing pieces of the puzzle and sets up the next issue's final showdown well. Although, I am confused about why Luke Cage is there with Misty and the other Hero for Hire since I thought they were on the other side, working for the government or registered or whatever. Maybe it's a case of putting friendship first, I dunno.

I still have Loveless: Thicker than Blackwater, but it will have to wait.

In an interstellar burst, I'm back to save the universe!

Wow, I have not posted in a long time. This past week, I've been without internet access, so there's an almost good excuse. For now, just some reviews.

52 #52

I read bits and pieces of this series since my dad was buying it. I think I fully read the first few weeks and then began skimming every issue. That skimming became much more prominant when I moved to Windsor and would only see issues on visits home. But, following a few comic sites kept me in touch enough. That said, OBVIOUSLY, the final issue of the series isn't aimed at me, someone who BARELY read the previous 51 issues. I saw it in the shop and figured what the hell, I'll give it a look, see how the whole thing ends.

And it ends kind of blahly.

Am I the only one who found it funny that for a series where each issue takes place over a week, barely any of this issue actually took place over week 52? 90% of the thing was outside of the time stream or back on week 1. Not a major problem or anything, but something I found funny.

There's also the big reveal that had me going "Oh wait, that wasn't the way it was already?" Seriously. I'm just ignorant of the DCU to have the big reveal fall totally flat because I thought that was the way things automatically were post-Infinite Crisis.

All in all, I ended up skimming the issue after fifteen pages because I just didn't give a fuck. My main problem with every issue of 52 that I read was that it read like it was written by committee. I couldn't pick out any real style or anything that made me actually take notice. It was all so mediocre after passing through so many hands. But, that's me.

They did it and that's good enough, I suppose.

Sensational Spider-Man Annual #1

Matt Fraction's the writer, so I bought it. It was a pretty good read. It does what an annual does best these days: tells a decent, complete story within the confines of the current status quo. Fraction does that here with a nice little love story about Mary Jane and Peter. My favourite part is the telling of an incident back when they were dating from both perspectives.

Is it the best thing you'll read this year? No. But, if you want a nice little Spider-Man story that will warm your heart a bit, check it out.

Mighty Avengers #2

You know, it wasn't until the very end of this issue that I realised that these people didn't know that the weird woman is Ultron. We all knew it was because of solicits and the cover and all, but they didn't. Wow, way to take the punch out of that last page, eh?

After the first issue wowing me so much, this one didn't do as much. It moved far too slowly for what I expected of the title and had a few moments that made me go "What the fuck?" Like Ms. Marvel thinking that after this, Ares was off the team despite the fact that she was the one who lobbied for him in the previous issue. Maybe she would think that, but it made me think she's a flighty, two-faced person who probably shouldn't be leading the Avengers if her first reaction is "Fuck you, get off my team!"

An entertaining read, but

too

damn

slow.

Omega Flight #1-2

"Ohmygod, you're Canadian, so you must love Alpha Flight, right?"

Actually, I've never gotten that. No one has ever said anything like that to me. Good thing, too, because I've always thought Alpha Flight was kind of shit. I don't give a fuck if it's Canadian--a shitty book is a shitty book. Hell, the fact that it's a Canadian team always made me pissed off that it was so shitty. I've always been one of those people who is tougher on stuff I like/identify with than stuff I don't. Like, I'm harder on the leader of the political party I vote for than any other political leader simply because if that's the person I'm with, I want that person to be the best.

I would have loved it if Alpha Flight was ever near the best, but it wasn't. And neither is Omega Flight.

The book has a good concept: American superhuman registration causes supervillains to cross the border and fuck with Canada . . . a country that's had superhuman registration for years, apparently. Oh wait, that doesn't actually make sense.

This book also proves that Iron Man is an asshole. Say you're the director of SHIELD and you're working with the Canadian government to help put together a Canadian superhero team to fight American supervillains, does it seem like a good idea to send the most pig-headed, nearly-racist, bigoted hero you can find? Iron Man thinks so and that's why he sends USAgent, the most obnoxious hero since Quicksilver. I can see why Oeming did this, because it creates conflict and drama and blah blah blah, but it makes no sense logically. Well, except if you think Iron Man is an asshole.

The only part of these issues I liked was when one of the characters (Talisman, maybe?) was holier-thant-thou about Canada have a superhero registration for years without a Civil War-type blow-out, proving once again that Canada is better than the US. Because a Canadian would SO do that. Because we are better than Americans. Totally.

Civil War: Captain America

Hey, look at that! Another over-priced Marvel trade! $19 for four issues! Fucking assholes.

I actually skipped over the two Red Menace trades, but that's okay, I'll get them eventually. The issues here are the three Civil War tie-in Captain Americas and the Winter Soldier one-shot. All solid reads that focus more on the supporting characters of that title than Cap himself, presumably since he takes centre stage in the main mini-series. No real problems here.

I also got the second D'Airain Adventure, but want to discuss both issues at once, so I'll do that soon.

Friday the 13th was good to me.

So, back in London for a week. Classes are over and I don’t need to be back on campus until the twenty-third, so I figured I’d come home for a little vacation. And to get comics.

Two things stood out in the whole experience today.

First, whoever decides the price for Marvel’s trades is an asshole. Saw the Civil War trade and thought I’d pick it up, but then I saw the cover price. $24.99 US and $40.00 Canadian. Insert my standard “someone needs to get those idiots a fucking currency converter!” rant. What also annoys me is the fact that it shouldn’t be $25 US either. I bought a copy of Alice in Sunderland, which looks to have more pages, bound in hardcover and not have the cushion of individual issues selling in the hundreds of thousands for only five bucks more. Seems about right.

(On a slight tangent: buying Talbot’s book is what prevented me from getting Civil War as I know the guy at my shop would have altered the Canadian price, so I would have paid maybe thirty bucks at the most. I love that guy. I mean, I paid $29.95 CANADIAN for Alice in Sunderland, which is the American price. Damn good guy that Tim.)

Second, they were sold out of every Ellis issue of Thunderbolts except for 113, which was released this week. The shitty thing? I only had 110-111, meaning no 112. I debated in the shop whether to bother with 113 and just wait for a trade, but got it anyway, who cares, I’d find 112 elsewhere.

And I did.

At the convenience store I stopped at on the way home for a slushy and some chips. They had one comic with their magazines and that was Thunderbolts #112 (three copies, I think). Take THAT, direct market!

Anyway, on to reviews . . .

Punisher War Journal #5-6

And so begins “Reign of the Captains America” . . . so far, we’ve got Hate Monger Captain America and Punisher Captain America. All we need is two more, months of them fighting with one another and then the return of the real one for Marvel to fully rip-off DC circa 1993. Although, I don’t think that’s what’s going on here, I kid because I love. I trust Fraction to do good things here. I also trust him to get rid of the whole Punisher versus SHIELD storyline soon, because, goddamn, I find it boring as hell.

Immortal Iron Fist #4

Holy fuck, Iron Fist is cool! Who saw that coming?

Civil War: The Confession

I’m actually amazed at how well Bendis pulled off the first story in this issue. For a man known for his dialogue, he writes a pretty good monologue here. But, the really interesting thing here is how the two stories work in dialogue with one another. And, there’s the obvious connection between “Was it worth it?” but there’s also everyone’s favourite topic of discussion: Iron Man is an asshole versus Iron Man isn’t an asshole.

What makes this issue work so well is that Bendis brings back Tony’s humanity in a way that hasn’t been seen since Civil War began (and probably before).

But.

But, we’ve seen stories involving him that take place after this issue that show him in the same asshole light, so I’m left wondering what the point here was. It’s written well, drawn well and all of that; in and of itself, The Confession works. However, if you place it within the context of the Marvel universe as a whole, the first story doesn’t seem to work, in my mind. The second one fits in quite nicely, but the first . . . it just doesn’t fit. It should signal a shift, of sorts, but it doesn’t.

Goddamn, I wish I wasn’t in London and my copy of American Psycho was handy, because it has a quote that sums this up. I’ll paraphrase: “In the end, this confession has meant nothing.”

(And that’s when they all groaned.)

New Avengers #28-29

I found myself loving these issues far more than I expected. The time jumps, the dialogue, the action, the art, it’s all working here. Nothing much else to say.

Thunderbolts #112-113

I’m mixed about this book. I enjoy it, but it’s also so utterly unsubtle that I can barely stand it sometimes. Norman is crazy in an over-the-top way. Moonstone is manipulative in an over-the-top way. Also, not much happened. Still, I’m very pleased that I stumbled into #112.

Fell #8

The only thing that bothered me about this issue is the tension between photograph and objective narrative viewpoint. When is what we see a photograph taken by Fell and when is it just an objective viewpoint? The framing panels obviously are the usual objective narration viewpoint, but what about that middle panel on page six that shows Fell and other cops from an overhead position?

The fact that I’m picking on something this minor says something about the quality of this issue.

newuniversal #5

And the beat goes on. I have a feeling this series could turn out to be really great once the pieces all get laid out. Right now, though, it feels too much like tedious work on Ellis’ part. It’s still entertaining, but there’s too much process about it to be completely absorbing.

More tomorrow.

Tony Stark, Futurist

Throughout the whole "Civil War" thing, the word "futurist" has been thrown around a lot to describe Tony Stark and Reed Richards. But what is a futurist? Is it, as Stark describes here, someone who works towards the future, or is it really a member of the Italian art and drama movement of the early 20th century that fetishised technology, violence, youth, urban living and was eventually tied closely to fascism?

I just find it amusing that the word is thrown around quite a bit, but there's that other meaning to it that seems to fit so well. Tony Stark is all about technology; for the Futurists, it was fast cars, while for Stark it's a suit of armour where he becomes a machine basically. The Futurists were heavily interested in the idea of humans being like machines or body parts replaced by machines. Stark has a machine heart basically. He is all about living in the city and, goddammit, he is one violent guy, isn't it?

To tie it to Civil War a bit more, here's the first paragraph from "The Futurist Synthetic Theater, 1915" by Filippo Marinetti, Emilio Settimelli, and Bruno Corra:

As we await our much prayed-for great war, we Futurists carry our violent antineutralist action from city square to university and back again, using our art to prepare the Italian sensibility for the great hour of maximum danger. Italy must be fearless, eager, as swift and elastic as a fencer, as indifferent to blows as a oxer, as impassive at the news of a victory that may have cost fifty thousand dead as at the news of a defeat.

For a guy who claimed to be doing it for the greater good, Stark always was a little too gung-ho on the fight, wasn't he?

Now, I'm not suggesting a direct connection here. It's just something I find interesting. It could be sheer coincidence or, maybe, it's one of those subtextual things that was thrown in for a laugh.

Just something I thought of and figured I'd put out there. Something to keep in the back of your head.

For more on Futurism: this site has a lot of good info.

The Road to Civil War

For some reason, the university bookstore has begun carrying some Marvel trades, so I picked up The Road to Civil War since they're charging something close to the exchange rate. The US price is $14.99 and the Canadian cover price is $24. You know what the price SHOULD be? $17.65. The bookstore was charging a buck more than that. I really hate comic and book publishers for that mark-up. It's not like shipping costs should be relatively similar considering NAFTA or anything. And, I mean, living in Windsor, Ontario, which is right next to Detroit, you can't exactly say that trucks have to travel further to reach me than other parts of the US. It just pisses me off. DC is better, usually, but still not quite as good. Marvel, though, is fucking horrible about Canadian prices.

Anyway, I also figured I'd get it since I'll end up getting the Civil War trade when it comes out. And I wanted to give New Avengers: Illuminati a read.

Illuminati was decent. I really like the idea of the group. The discussions were a little too Namor/Iron Man centric. And I never really got a sense as to why it's THESE people involved. Hell, it seems like Namor is thrown in just so you can have the resident asshole--what, was Quicksilver busy?

I felt it was a little rushed, as well. Too much crammed in. It would have benefitted from more pages or more issues. I guess that's what the current mini-series is for, but even here--it seemed too much like a lead-in to Civil War then it should have been.

The other issues included, two from Fantastic Four and three from Amazing Spider-Man all bothered me for nit-picky reasons. Like a conversation featuring a couple dozen words between Reed and Ben taking a minute and a half. Or the blatant lines/speeches ripped from The West Wing in the Spider-Man issues. That could be purposeful given the nature of the story, but it just made me roll my eyes.

And, I'm sorry, but the inclusion of the FF issues IS just a cheap fake-out on Marvel's part, okay? It gets everyone thinking Thor is coming back and then it's a clone/cyborg/robot/clusterfuck.

But, you know what? I realised Civil War did its job with me: I'm buying more Marvel titles now than ever before, mostly titles relating to Civil War in some way: New Avengers, Mighty Avengers, Punisher War Journal, Thunderbolts and Immortal Iron Fist. To be fair, three of those books I'm buying because of the writers (Fraction and Ellis), but the two Avengers books?

Let's be honest, the only reason why I didn't buy Civil War itself is because I think Millar's writing is ass most of the time. But, I'll get the trade for the same reason why I'll get Infinite Crisis' trade. Because, in my heart of hearts, I'm a fanboy who wants to see the big stuff happen. Huh.

Marc Silvestri's Art Looks Like Ass

Felt like buying some comics, so I talk a walk. No copies of Captain America #25, though. I don't care that much--I'll read it in a trade at some point--but figured I'd give it a look. Ah well.

Civil War: The Initiative and Mighty Avengers #1

Wow, Marc Silvestri's art looks like ass, doesn't it? It really fucking does. It is horrible.

The one-shot written by Bendis and Ellis isn't worth your time. I got it pretty much for the Ellis-ness and it was worthless.

Mighty Avengers #1, on the other hand, was a decent read. They fight against the Mole Man. Fun fun fun.

I enjoyed how Bendis interwove the fight and the choosing of the team members.

The thing that impressed me the most was bringing back the thought bubbles. I've been wanting someone to do that for the longest time and Bendis actually makes good use of them here. None of the old long-winded shit. He uses them in short, effective bursts.

I'm actually looking forward to the next issue, strangely enough.

The Authority #2

If you remember, the first issue of this book blew me away. And it turns out what I was expecting to happen in the story has: the Authority has crash-landed in our word and are stuck.

However, compared to the first issue, I was horribly underwhelmed. The first issue promised "the historic first meeting of man and superman" (or something like that) and, well, this was it?

There are some nice moments, like Jack and the Doctor picking up some Authority trades. Or the idea that they simply cannot exist in our world without causing massive problems.

Now, I'm just left waiting for Grant Morrison to appear . . .

newuniversal #4

Well, now we know the score. Nothing much else to say.

Detective Comics #828

So, this is the magical, wonderful Paul Dini people love, eh?

What a medoicre fucking comic.

A lame mystery with lame motives and a lame fight. The only redeeming quality being the use of the Riddler, but even that didn't do much for me.

Throw in some mediocre art and the whole mediocre package is complete. Too bad it's got a fantastic cover by Simone Bianchi.

Criminal #5

Holy shit.

Talk about bringing out the big guns. Jesus. This is Leo? This is Leo? Wow.

I've actually been a little wishy-washy about this series, buying it mostly because I dug Sleeper so much and had a little faith. After this issue, I'm on board completely.

I mean, holy shit.

More reviews coming sometime later. Probably tomorrow. I've still got Punisher: Born, Ashley Wood D'airan Adventures (or however it's spelled) plus yesterday, my shipment with DMZ: Body of a Journalist and the other Incal trade arrived. Rock and roll.

Not-So-Random Rereading: The Boys #1-6

Today, decided to give all of Nextwave: Agents of H.A.T.E., Fell and The Boys a reread. The two formers were both great reads, but I don't have anything to say about them. The Boys, though . . .

In issue six, Butcher talks to Hughie about why a group like the Boys needs to exist. Basically, he argues that superheroes are amateurs that aren't that good at what they do, often accidentally kill people, and, generally, are dangerous for the average person.

Kind of funny how Garth Ennis is the man to write the most convincing argument in favour of Marvel's Superhero Registration Act, isn't it? Even more funny that The Boys began right in the middle of Civil War.

The book really is a twisted look at the concept of superheroes from the average person's perspective, specifically the average person in the Marvel universe after the New Warriors and a bunch of little kids got blown up by Nitro.

The Boys is basically a group that would exist without the SRA.

Just made me chuckle a little.

Random Reading: A Shitload of Books for Break Week Part 5 . . . MATT FRACTION!

See that, Bendis, Waid, Ennis and the rest of you fuckers? Fraction gets his own day. Jealous? I think so. Well, I finish off the five days of random readings for break week (which I probably should have begun on Monday, so it actually ran for the weekdays of break week, which are really the only days I get off technically) with five Matt Fraction comics. Why? Because he fucking rocks, that's why.

Civil War: Choosing Sides

Wow, first book of Fraction day and it's not really a Matt Fraction comic per se. But, considering the fact that I bought it ONLY for the Iron Fist story, which Fraction co-wrote, I'm going to say it counts.

Anyway, yeah, this wasn't worth the money. The first story, a Venom tale, does nothing really. The Ant-Man story isn't funny when it's obviously meant to be. The U.S.Agent story just reminds me that I think the character is a douche. The Howard the Duck story is kinda funny, poking fun at the whole registration thing.

That leaves only the reason why I bought the fucking thing: the Iron Fist story. The story acts as a solid prologue for the series and is good enough that had I not wanted to buy the series (and do in fact buy the series), I'd probably pick it up. Hell, it's the best story in the book. David Aja's art is typical amazing and the writing is decent. Not quite as good as what we see in the main book, but still above the other stuff here. Good news for people waiting for the Immortal Iron Fist trade is that it'll probably be in it, so don't bother hunting down this one-shot that only exists to fill the gap left by lateness on Civil War's part.

The Immortal Iron Fist #3

The last Iron Fist story continues apace and is worth buying almost exclusively for the page where Danny punches Orson Randall and the way David Aja draws Danny as he says "C'MON, OLD MAN. I'M NOT GOING DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT." Solid work.

The plot progresses only a little, though, which is probably my biggest concern. I wanted a little more, I dunno. We do get Danny searching for clues and trying to stave off Hydra, Hydra doing its thing, and some more of Randall's past. Plus, some cool shit where two guys with the iron fist fight.

Solid.

Punisher War Journal #3-4

In his column this week, Steven Grant says: "Speaking of burying characters and as something of a Punisher expert, his goofy newfound hero worship smacks a bit of desperation..."

Ever since reading that earlier today, I've been thinking about issue three of PWJ and wondering if it does fit the character. Would the Punisher really be so respectful of Captain America?

I actually don't know, but I think it works. Which, I guess means yes. I think it works--at least here. Fraction does a good job of making the Punisher's awe and respect seem realistic. He ties it into the Punisher's military past, which gives it a bit more depth (but not much, actually). If anything happens in issue three, it's that the seeds for Captain America surrending are put in place. It's a question of whether or not he can continue when that means having to work with guys like the Punisher--and realising that the only way to keep fighting his war is to work with guys like the Punisher, because, fuck it, he IS better than everyone else there. It doesn't explain everything, but it's better than that other shit.

I don't know what I can say about issue four that hasn't already been said. It seems to be the issue that gets talked about--even if it just came out. And rightfully so. One of the few non-Grant Morrison comics that is obviously and almost transparently about comics. The old days are gone.

My only beef is seeing characters from this issue show up elsewhere when the Punisher killed them all. Rhino? Dead. Armadillo? Dead. You could argue that they didn't necessarily die, but, yeah, they did. The Punisher done blown them up.

I'm looking forward to see where Fraction takes this book now since the first few issues (and even issue four) were all heavily tied into Civil War. The solicits tells us some, but I can't wait to see it for myself.

Casanova #7

I think I'm only going to do my initial thoughts right now and come back and write about all seven issues later this week.

First off, I'm not going to comment on Fraction's closing remarks here, because that is some heavy, personal stuff. I mean, goddamn.

Second off, I dug it. I fucking loved this issue. Tied shit up well, had the usual Fraction/Ba flavour, and a cool Japanese kid who schooled Casanova.

It also had Casanova being a fucking man for once. Right on.

And that moment when Zypher sees her mom . . . shit, motherfucker.

I wish, someday, I can write a comic this cool.

That does it for the break week random reading extravaganza. Fun, fun, fun.

Random Reading: A Shitload of Books for Break Week Part 2 . . . BRIAN MICHAEL BENDIS AND THE NEW AVENGERS!

Another day, another five books. Today, we take a look at Brian Michael Bendis and that plucky little group of his, the New Avengers.

New Avengers #21-22, 26-27

“PEOPLE, FRIENDS OF OURS, OUR BROTHERS, ARE GOING TO GET HURT BECAUSE YOU WON’T PLAY BALL.”--Hank Pym, in conversation with Captain America, New Avengers #21

I haven’t read Civil War #7, but I’m thinking the fact that the reasons Captain America surrenders for were an argument used against him right from the get-go is a reason why people think it’s shit. Just saying.

Moving on . . .

I don’t know why, but I think I’m going to buy New Avengers and possibly Mighty Avengers from now on. I find it odd since the three issues of the series I bought, and reviewed here, didn’t really wow me. But, I feel compelled somehow.

I figured I would start by getting the two Civil War issues I missed. Especially since I only heard great things about the Luke Cage one.

#21, which features Captain America has Cap as a paranoid crazy guy, convinced the Falcon is going to kill him. So, obviously, once he knows that the Falcon is cool, he tries to recruit Hank Pym in Avengers fucking Tower. Because, you know, Captain America is a fucking retard.

One minute, he’s paranoid his sometimes partner is going to betray him and the next, he’s visiting the headquarters of the other side. He is a master strategist, of course.

In issue 22, Luke Cage makes the best argument against the registration act--namely that it has the government rounding up people because they’re different. Same argument used a shitload of times in the X-titles. But, rather effective here. Tony Stark is an asshole again.

The issue really only holds up for the first few pages before it becomes Luke Cage versus SHIELD. But, it’s a good issue.

Issue 26 answers the all-important question: where’s Hawkeye? I’ll tell you where: fucking an amnesiac Scarlet Witch. Hawkeye is the fucking man. You wish you were Hawkeye.

That brings us to post-Civil War New Avengers #27 where . . . okay, wait. This Echo lady is described as deaf, right? But then how come it seems like she can hear? She eavesdrops on Japanese gangsters and then understands Ronin while his mask is on (I did notice how Spider-Man lifted his mask, so you could make the whole lip-reading argument). So, she’s a deaf lady who can hear? Isn’t that like how Daredevil is a blind man who can basically see? Comics are fucked up sometimes.

Anyway, Echo was dressed up as Ronin and trying to take down some Japanese mafia shit and ends up getting killed by Elektra and the Hand. And then resurrected. While being brainwashed, the new New Avengers show up and rescue her. And Luke Cage kicks Elektra in the crotch. Because Luke Cage is hardcore.

The issue is decent. It’s got some nice banter (much to Iron Fist’s chagrin) and some good action scenes. It really just presents the question of who the new Ronin is. He/she has four lines. And according to the solicitations, we’ll find out who’s beneath the mask in a few issues. I, honestly, don’t really care. It’s someone who says “Yo,” though. And that’s how the internet broke in half.

New Avengers: Illuminati #2

Why is it that every time these guys get together, it seems like one of them is all “Hey, guys, we’re going to make sure Earth is safe” and the others go “But, that’s too much! We can’t do that! Who are we to do such a thing?”

This is the secret group that got together to do shit like this and then whines about having to do it every goddamn time. It’s the second issue (well, third, in a way) and I’m already sick of these assholes.

In this issue, they’re all pissed off because Reed has been collecting the infinity gems because he’s sick of some alien dickhead getting them together and making people disappear and shit. Um, doesn’t that sound like the smart thing to do?

I’m beginning to think that Namor is just a little whiney bitch. Every comic I see him in, he’s whining about something. It doesn’t matter what it is or who it is, he’s always gotta whine about how he doesn’t agree. "Whah whah whah! The humans are mean to the Atlanteans! Whah whah whah! The Atlanteans are mean to the humans! Whah whah whah! I don't fit in on the surface or in the ocean! Sue won't fuck me! The Avengers don't like me! No one likes me because I keep switching sides! Whah whah wha!" Namor is a fucking asshole and I’m surprised Reed hasn’t killed him yet. Seriously.

In the end, Reed has the infinity gauntlet and everyone, including the Watcher, is all “Reed, you can’t have that! No human should!” and like an idiot, he listens. Smartest guy in the fucking world there, people. Why not let him make a few things better while he’s God? That’s just me spit-balling here. Me using my brain.

Did enjoy the Watcher basically giving Reed the “I’m very disappointed in you” speech. Fucking take THAT, Mr. Fantastic!

And the issue ends with Professor X looking all ominous. Dun dun DUN!

Tomorrow: random mature readers books!

Random Reading: Shitload of Books for Break Week Part 1 . . . WAREN ELLIS!

So, I've got this week off from school, so I'm back in London. Been almost two months since I've been back and that means, almost two months of not buying my usual comics here. Needless to say, I dropped a shitload of money yesterday on a shitload of books. I don't really feel like discussing them all right now, so I'll pick and choose and spread them out over, oh let's say, five posts. Why? Because I got 25 comics and I'll do five per post. Today, we'll discuss Warren Ellis.

Nextwave: Agents of H.A.T.E. #12

It . . . it's over.

Fuck you, world, it's over.

And it ended in the funniest, most shocking way possible.

It also ended with two words:

KICK.

SPLODE.

Goddamn.

newuniversal #3

People I know know I read comics. So, obviously, they assume that I must watch superhero movies and superhero TV shows--when, in fact, I tend to avoid them like the plague. Yeah, that's right: I've yet to see either of the Spider-Man movies. Didn't see Superman Returns either. And I'm not about to anytime soon. I think the only superhero movie of recent note I've actually seen is Batman Begins and that was only because it was Patrick fucking Bateman as Batman--which ever since seeing and reading American Psycho I thought was totally about Bruce Wayne, except if he went the other way. And, actually, I was totally underwhelmed by Bale's performance based on what he did in American Psycho. I'll probably see the next one, mostly because I genuinely did enjoy Batman Begins despite the fact that they ALWAYS have to give him a love interest. I don't see why. Most Batman comics I read have him only needing a teenage boy and an elderly man for companionship. That's the Batman I grew up loving, dammit. And what does all this have to do with newuniversal? I don't watch Heroes for the same reason I don't watch (most) superhero movies? I've got comics that do that stuff already--and they're done with words and pictures. To paraphrase (or perhaps directly quote) Harvey Pekar: you can do anything with words and pictures. Why the fuck would I watch Heroes, the product of a system where writers are lucky if 40% of what they intend gets shot, everything is micromanaged and churned out based on focus groups when I can read Warren Ellis' take on the idea? Seriously: Hollywood writers' room versus Warren Ellis. Who the fuck do you think I'm going to choose?

In this issue, more information is leaked to us--much more than I suspect I picked up. We got a lot of history here and now know just how many superhumans there are. Maybe. And what their roles are. Maybe.

Oh, and Eminem and Angelina Jolie appear. Does Heroes have them? No? Fuck Heroes.

Thunderbolts #110-111

Buying this book is sort of like acknowledging a debt I owe.

I was, what, twelve at the time? Yeah, twelve. It was the summer. I'd just come home from a week at camp and it was in my room. Thor #491 (or some other number, but I'm pretty sure it was 491). I was always interested in Thor. Liked the mythology. So, after my dad stopped buying the title for himself, he kept on buying it for me. And if you read the book around that time, you'd know it was shit and totally lacking direction. Thor hung out with weird animal people that the High Evolutionary created and wore a godawful-looking costume. Then, he wandered through a series of meaningless events that I remember vaguely--shit like fighting the Hulk or the Thing for no good reason other than to fight them. The issue before this one, Tom DeFalco wrapped up the whole Thunderstrike thing. And then #491.

Blew my fucking mind.

Thor is dying. He's mortal. He talks like a mortal, thinks like a mortal and going to die like one. He asks his dad for help. Odin is massive, frightening and just fucking mean. He tells his son to go to hell and then Thor is attacked by zombie viking warriors. And the Enchantress has a group of her boytoys rescue him. I don't actually remember where the issue ends, so maybe I got into the next issue a little there. But, the point is, is that it was NOT the Thor I knew. It was not the superhero comic I knew. I haven't looked back since. It was written by Warren Ellis with art by Mike Deodato, Jr.

So, yeah, figured I owe it to my 12-year-old self to buy this book as long as these two guys are doing it. The fact that Ellis is writing is would have been good enough, but the two of them together? Gotta do it.

And I like it so far. It doesn't blow my mind anymore, but it's decent. It's got that cynical Ellis feel to it. A bunch of supervillains protecting America or else they'll be killed? Come on, how could he not have some fun with it?

One thing I particularly like is how in #111 Jack Flagg ALMOST wins. He's up against superior numbers with superior firepower and, like you'd expect, he kicks the crap out of them. Except not really, because they're the heroes now and he's the villain. It's basically, the Avengers show up to capture a villain they know is hiding out and he almost wins, but the heroes somehow pull it off.

Some interesting dynamics being played with here and I look forward to see where it goes.

Fell #7

I've been enjoying Fell, but not loving it. While others have been praising it, I've been going "It's alright, but I've seen Ellis do better." I think my problem with the series is that Ellis has always balanced his optimistic, fight-for-right side with the horrible, cynical, things-fucking-suck side. And Fell has tilted a little too much towards the former. Yeah, Detective Fell has dealt with some fucking sick people, but he's won out. He's made the world a little better each and every time.

Except this one. This one, he fucks up. This one, his virtues fuck him over. And it's what the series needs, I think. Up until this issue, Ellis had been too nice to Fell. I don't mind the humanity and hopefulness in Ellis' work. Hell, it's what puts him above everyone who tries to rip him off. All those fuckers who just see the swearing and violence and think "Oh, that's so cool!" But, something else Ellis always done is evened it out. You climb up, you think it's going to be okay and then something knocks you right back down. And it finally happened to Fell.

That's not to say that I haven't enjoyed the book to this point and I have enjoyed it a bit more with each issue, but this issue clinched it for me. I moved from liking it to loving it with this issue.

The cover to this issue is my favourite so far, by the way. You don't even need to read the issue if you see the cover. It's all there, laid out for you by Ben Templesmith, who does wonderful, wonderful work here.

Tomorrow: Brian Michael Bendis and the New Avengers.

Random reading: Random books!

Another trip to the shop here and another pile of books chosen at random. Well, let's dive in!

Blade #5

Actually bought earlier this week at the bookstore because I thought "What the hell, I'll give the book another shot!" based entirely on the badass cover of Wolverine's claws running through Blade's head--and Blade smiling because he fucking loves it.

Yeah, the comic sucked compared to that cover. Too much space wasted on a cliched flashback subplot and not enough space devoted to a badass fight where Wolverine runs Blade through and then Blade is all "Motherfucker, that's the way I like it!" and then it's REALLY fucking on.

Teen Titans #43

"Hey, let's do a story where it's like an evil Teen Titans!"

"You mean like an Injustice League, but with the Titans?"

"Yeah!"

"Yeah!"

So, yeah, the real Titans get their asses handed to them by the evil Titans and I'm sure this matters to people who read this title and care about these characters.

Green Lantern #16

Green Lantern is an idiot.

That sums up this issue.

Apparently, to keep things separate, Hal Jordan, while flying in the air force, is dumb enough to NOT WEAR HIS MAGICAL RING THAT WILL MAKE SURE HE DOESN'T DIE! And the he got caught by terrorists and put the woman he loves in danger and caused an international incident and is being pursued by alien bounty hunters because the kid of that alien who died and made him Green Lantern now wants his daddy's ring. And if this idiot had just worn his ring to begin with, this would have all been solved rather quickly, but he's an idiot and we're supposed to feel sorry for him, except he's such an idiot we don't.

The Creeper #6

Yeah, I didn't see that this was issue six of six until I got to the end and it was the end.

I bet if I had read the previous five issues, I might have enjoyed this issue more. Except there's fun bits of dialogue like:

"BACKSTAB ME, WILL YA?"

Said by the Creeper after punching Batman in the face.

Yeesh.

Fantastic Four #542

I rather liked this comic. It reminded me of that episode of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine where Dr. Bashir and the group of genetically-enhanced people figure out using math that the Federation WILL lose the war with the Dominion no matter what. No hope. No chance. So why not surrender now and save billions of lives?

I always agreed with that choice and I find myself agreeing with Reed here. He's figured out the way to save the planet is to do shit like the Registration Act and he's going to make damn sure it happens no matter the cost.

I only hope that Marvel has the balls to see the story through where Reed is right. THAT would be impressive, I think.

But, they'll probably puss out in favour of the whole "siding with good will beat the odds" bullshit eventually.

Civil War: The Return

Oh, shut up, it wasn't that bad.

First off, it doesn't negate the death of Captain Marvel. He doesn't even come back from the dead really.

Second off, the Sentry story was kind of interesting--at least if you're a fan of the Sentry. It did more to explain his joining up with Iron Man more than Bendis' spotlight issue did.

Third off, it wasn't that great either, but I read worse comics THIS WEEK let alone in the past few years.

Fourth off, I do think that the Mar-Vell story could have worked better as a full-issue story. It was a little too compressed, especially when he returns, for my taste. Everyone seems to accept what's happened a little too quickly--they don't even ask WHERE he came from, they just go "Oh, you're here, run the prison!" Seems kind of stupid.

X-Factor #15

I'd heard good things and this issue was good. I've never been a big fan of Peter David's comic stuff--his prose has always done it for me--but this was good. Interesting characters, snappy dialogue and the funniest way of taking down terrorists I've ever seen--while being disturbing at the same time. I'm tempted to hunt down all the previous stuff for this series. (And I just checked with Amazon.ca and I could get the Madrox trade and two X-Factor collections for a decent price, so maybe I will sometime soon.)

The Spirit #2

So, the Spirit gets his ass kicked and then later kicks the asses of those who kicked his ass plus a few more people without much effort? I can't stand it when shit like that happens. It's something that happens in shit like this and it takes me right out of the story. It's one thing if the hero comes up with a sneaky way of overcoming the difficulty, but when there is literally no difference in the two situations I just don't get it. (You COULD argue he does it so he can find out later what the real plan is, but I don't see why he couldn't have, I don't know, kicked a little ass since doing that and then leaving wouldn't have affected anything except how much pain he'd be in.)

But, this book is steeped heavily in such conventions and it adheres to them well. Not my thing.

Captain America: Winter Soldier Vols. 1&2 and Winter Soldier: Winter Kills

Well-drawn, well-written, well-conceived. They brought Bucky back and did it in a way that adds to the character. Never thought I'd see that coming. I do think had I read this without that knowledge, it would have been better. So sorry, I just spoiled it for you, but I figure everyone knows it by now. I don't know what to say. As is obvious, I'm not great at praising stuff, I'm much more of a "tear shit down" guy.

I did think the Jack Monroe interlude issue killed the pacing of the story a bit without adding a whole lot.

The Winter Soldier special had some touching moments, especially at the end. Am confused about how the trio of Young Avengers say they won't kill anyone, but then they knock out all the Hydra members before burning the warehouse down--did they carry them all out?

Come to think of it, Hydra has been popping up a lot lately in the MU. In that Spider-Woman issue of New Avengers, in Iron Fist, in X-Factor, in Fantastic Four, here. And in nearly every case (Iron Fist is the odd one out), they are getting their asses handed to them and losing large numbers of people and equipment. Kind of makes Iron Fist look like a little pussy, doesn't it? I'm going to have to think about that.

Random Reading: Post Holidays Fun

I come home and hit the shop, pick up many, many comics. Wait two weeks and nearly every book I buy ships another issue. Pretty cool, I have to admit.

Nextwave: Agents of H.A.T.E. #11

Fuck you, Warren Ellis, I will not buy six copies of this issue. Not that the six double-page splashes of the team fighting its way through the weirdest fucking enemies I've ever seen (I remember sex-midgets in Iron Man helmets and Elvis-headed MODOKs and Wolverine apes and other ungodly horrors). Basically, Nextwave makes a final assault on the headquarters of the Beyond Corporation, State 51 and fight their way through strange enemy after strange enemy in a series of side-scrolling splash pages until there's no one left. Oh, and we see Dirk Anger as a zombie. Can't wait until next issue.

newuniversal #2

More pieces of the puzzle. We kind of find out exactly what's going on and how it relates to Idea Space. Three people from last issue discover more about their abilities--and three just happens to be the magic number of superhumans to reactivate a government agency that builds robot suits to kill superhumans. Or something like that. Things are moving along nicely, basically.

Punisher War Journal #2

Am I wrong in kind of wishing the series was called War Stories featuring Captain American and the Punisher just so we could ensure the back-and-forth between these two continues for a long, long time? Fraction plays with the two personalities so well here as we have boy scout WWII soldier trying to work with fucking animal Nam veteran. Friction abound throughout the issue as they work together to try and win the war. But--oops, Punisher just killed some guys, the shit's gonna hit the fan, I suppose.

(One thing that semi-bothered me was seeing Photon in the group after reading Nextwave. It just doesn't seem right to have her in a comic mocking an event and then in a comic that ties into the same event. Damn you, Marvel. Damn you, Mark Millar.)

The Immortal Iron Fist #2

It sucks to be Danny Rand. Gets his ass whooped by Hydra and then it looks like they're trying to take over his company, too. But, he's got his old friend Luke Cage helping him out, so things can't be that bad. Oh no, his so-called iron fist just turned into a pile of mush. Damn, Danny Rand, you suck.

The Midnighter #3

How do you fight time cops? Why, you throw a time-frozen Adolf Hitler at them! Go, Midnighter, go!

A fun issue in a fun series.

All-Star Superman #6

"But, Chad, you said you haven't been digging this series and you don't keep buying books you don't dig and aren't you just the biggest liar in the world, Chad? Aren't you?"

It's Morrison and Quitely, so, yeah, I'm gonna keep on buying it and hope it wins me over by the end.

As of this issue, still mostly cold. I don't know why. But I am. Odd.

New Avengers: Senty and Sentry: Reborn

The local shop had these two trades and I said, "Hell yes, little voice inside my head, I will buy them." The first is passable and provides an okay intro for the second. We get the basics on what's up with Sentry, basically he's crazy. We also have the New Avengers fighting the Wrecker. Oh, and Paul Jenkins faints. Because he's a wimp.

Sentry: Reborn is an amazing read. I really liked the first Sentry mini and this one tops it. Easily. We learn all about Sentry and his life and the fact that he is batshit insane. Really, really, really fucking insane. And he's the most powerful human alive. And he's insane!

Okay, it reads better than that, but Jenkins has created a really interesting and complex character here. It's one of the better pieces of superhero fiction I've yet to read, giving a really adult take on a character without it coming off as superficially "dark." Makes me wish Jenkins was helming an ongoing series featuring the character.

Punisher Vol. 3 hardcover

Stopped at another shop and they were having a sale on trades, so I got this and Batman: Broken City--and basically got the trade for free thanks to the sale.

This hardcover collects nine issues from the Marvel Knights series penned by Ennis with art by Steven Dillon and Tom Mandrake. The five stories here are all decent. Only the three-part "Brotherhood" about crooked cops actually comes close to the work Ennis is doing on the MAX series currently.

The first story is about Joan the Mouse from the first Ennis/Dillon Punisher mini. It's a cute story. The third story is about a mobster looking for giant squids and is also kind of cute. The fourth is a three-part story about a crazy guy, homeless people and subway tunnels and isn't that good. The final one is another cute story involving Elektra.

As I said, the second story, "Brotherhood" actually has interesting characters and a solid story. The rest, though, was just too cute for me. I've said cute a bit too much, haven't I?

Thankfully, Dillon's art on the first three stories makes them worth reading, while Mandrake's art is solid sometimes, horrid others.

Batman: Broken City

Two things stand out after reading this:

1. So, the Joker knows he's Bruce Wayne?

2. Wow, Azzarello really added a whole mindfuck element to the character.

The basic story is a pretty standard sort of Batman story: dead people, kicking ass, crazy villains, blah blah blah. All very well done, just blah blah blah still. The final issue collected, though, is very, very good. Adds a rather cruel dimension to the character--one that works well, though.

And that's this past week.

Random Reading: A Whole Lotta Stuff

Mostly a positive post this time, because the majority of the stuff I got today is from my pull list--and I don't keep buying stuff I think is crap (usually). So, let's get on with it:

The Boys #5

I've actually been enjoying this title more than I thought I would. The first issue didn't hook me right away, but subsequent issues have done a better job. You know why this book works? Garth Ennis has never been the over-the-top writer people like to label him. Yeah, those elements are there, but there's also a strong sense of humanity that grounds everything he does. Do you think Preacher would have worked without the relationships between Jesse, Tupil, and Cassidy? Hell, my favourite moments from that book were the emotionally-driven stuff.

Same here. Yeah, there's the fucking with superheroes stuff, but Ennis is very wisely keeping all of that grounded with Hughie, a very likable and relatable character that puts everything into perspective.

This issue ups the ante as the Boys fuck with Teenage Kix more and leads into a confrontation between the two groups that will play out in the next issue. Looking forward to that--finally seeing what this group can do, especially the Female.

Desolation Jones #8

What I said about Ennis? Same goes for Ellis, by the way. But people never pay attention to that--which is why people who rip-off Ellis and Ennis always fail, the same way people who ripped off Dark Knight Returns and Watchmen produced utter crap.

Jones is probably the most damaged character Ellis has created so far. Every issue, we get a new bit of information that makes you pity him and kind of hope in his next confrontation, someone will put a bullet in his skull just to end his miserable life.

But, not really, because we all want to see Jones find out what happened to his old spy buddy. Typical of the series, the issue is slow, but probably gives far more information than we realise now. Lots of Philip K. Dick stuff, too, which I love.

Still on the fence over Danijel Zezelj's art--but that's probably because following Williams III is a damn difficult task.

Nextwave: Agents of H.A.T.E. #10

Holy fucking shit, Stuart Immonen is a great artist. Wow. Five styles featured here, all great.

Not much to say here. Another great issue. Either you get it--and love it, or you don't--and hate it. The ending was a little obvious, but who cares? I don't.

The Stan Lee and Jack Kirby "Easter Island" heads in the Captain's alternate life is a nice touch.

newuniversal #1

Speaking of great art, when did Salvador Larroca actually get good? Last time I saw his art was in a Peter Milligan-penned issue of X-Men and it was butt-fucking-ugly. Flat, uninspired and covered with shitty, shitty, shitty, SHITTY digital painting or something. So, I open up this comic and suddenly, Larroca's art was depth and . . . well, is good. Surprise, I guess.

The story itself is alright. Not much to go on here. Various people, white event, superpowers, yay. Nothing to rock my socks off.

Casanova #6

I've only read this issue once, so I got, like, a third of what was going on. The third I got? Loved. My words cannot sum up how awesome this book is. In the Previews for February (I think), there's a solicitation for a set of all seven issues of this first volume: BUY IT (unless you've been buying this book). It's cheap and would still be a steal if it were double the price. But, so I actually say something:

Russian missile silo, robots with the same brains meet, fake girly group assassins, undercover superspy fashion photographer, BIGFUCKINGBOOM!, giant Japanese robot.

Plus, much MUCH more. Buy the book.

Punisher War Journal #1

More Matt Fraction? Hells yes.

Really enjoyed this. The Punisher here isn't the Punisher in Ennis' book. He's a bit more cartoony, but it works because he's in a cartoony world. Lots of great moments here, but one bit made me laugh for, like, two minutes solid. A huge fucking bellylaugh with tears and everything. It's after Punisher saves Spider-Man in the sewers and Spider-Man (totally out of it) says he needs to hit an ATM to pay for the ride and Punisher says it's free and Spider-Man says:

"OH, AWESOME. ACTION IS MY REWARD, TOO."

I love Matt Fraction.

The Immortal Iron Fist #1

Ever MORE Matt Fraction? With Ed Brubaker? Life is good, sometimes.

I can't think of anything I didn't dig about this comic. It did everything a first issue should do: tell us what we need to know about a character, give a kickass story, and set things up for the future of the book. Plus, David Aja's art is amazingly gorgeous.

My only complaint is that, well, there's an ad for this issue in the issue. That's just not right. I generally don't pay attention to ads, but advertising for the comic I'm reading while I'm reading it? Kind of stupid, Marvel.

Criminal #3

A little breather of an issue. Mostly character development and slight plot movement. But, it works really well. Solid all around.

New Avengers: Illuminati #1

Yeah, I'm going to buy this series pretty much because I dig the concept--and issue four is "Marvel Boy issue" and, as we all know, I'm a Marvel Boy geek. Shut up.

As for this issue, it is all kinds of mediocre. The one cool moment, where Black Bolt speaks and blows the fuck out of the Skrull's main ship? Yeah, taken away when we discover that SOMEHOW the king of the Skrulls, who was ten feet away, was somehow not killed. The fuck? Yeah, a voice powerful enough to blow up a giant spaceship doesn't kill a guy ten feet away? How does that work, exactly?

Utterly mediocre. I hope future issues step it up a bit.

Gødland #14

Am I the only one reading this book who feels like every issue is a strange remix of a Kirby-drawn comic where the old word balloons have been replaced with new ones?

Not much happens here, which is a pretty bad thing considering this is the second issue back after the little three-month hiatus the book took. The first issue back had all sorts of action and fun, but this one? Snoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooozefest. I love the book and even I found it boring. I read this book for action, snappy dialogue and mindless (but smart) fun. This issue was lacking.

All-Star Superman #3-5

And now we get to the third thing that everyone else seems to love, but I don't (the first two being Jim Lee's art and DC: New Frontier). I still can't figure out why. Normally, Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely means I'm so fucking hard that a slight breeze will push me over the edge (or, something a lot less graphic and over-the-top). All-Star Superman leaves me cold.

In issue three, Lois Lane is given Superman's powers and . . . well, does nothing with them. Instead, she flirts with other superguys (one of whom looks exactly like Superman, just with longer hair) to make Superman jealous.

In issue four, Jimmy Olsen is all cool and saves the world or something.

In issue five, Lex Luthor is all evil and tells us how he killed Superman in issue one on purpose.

All full of mad ideas and lots of Silver Age-esque fun--except it's not the, you know, Silver Age anymore and I just don't give a fuck. The only thing that did anything for me was in issue four where Olsen becomes Doomsday. There's an interesting idea.

I think my problem is that I've seen Morrison do much, MUCH more with the character in his JLA run. Hell, his Lex Luthor there was at least interesting. This version is a flat, one-note character. Every character is. It's all surface here, nothing more. And DC has recently released multiple volumes of Superman-related Showcase reprints full of that stuff.

(Actually, flipping through the issues again, issue four pointed to something that's bothered me about the Superman titles: we have Perry White praising Clark Kent for his journalism--except, we never see him do any. Ever. Anywhere. That's always bothered me.)

Civil Wardrobe

I saw this and figured I'd give it a look. I laughed once. That says it all.

Punisher: From First to Last

A trio of Punisher MAX specials . . . faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaantastic.

The art in all three is lovely. The writing is great, too.

The first story, "The Tyger" gives us Castle's first killing as the Punisher and part of his childhood where he sees various examples of people getting "justice" of one form or another through violence.

The second story, "The Cell" has Castle getting himself thrown in jail so he can kill a group of mobsters. This is mostly a bunch of violence, but done well--and showcases how good he is at what he does.

The last story, "The End" is one in a series of stories Marvel has put out about the possible end of a hero/group of heroes' careers/lives. Instead of some extended bullshit like Claremont's ending for the X-Men, Ennis gives us a story of Castle killing the last people on earth because they are utter fucking bastards. Pure and simple.

Makes for a great last-minute gift for a comic fan, I think.

And that does it for 2006 most likely. Merry Christmas, happy new year, happy all those other holidays and blah blah blah.

Random Reading: Wizard #183

It's been a good five or six years since I've read a new issue of Wizard (although, I did find back issues make for decent bathroom reading, especially the "rumours" section of the news just to see what happened, what didn't). I was, at one point, a subscriber, but I gave it up once I had steady access to the internet at home. As Warren Ellis once said, if you've got the internet, you're buying Wizard for the price guide. And during the time there was overlap, I did find Wizard to be pretty useless, except for the occasional preview or random sidebar where Ellis or Garth Ennis tells us which heroes they would have sodomised for 22 pages given the chance. Otherwise, I got my news, interviews, reviews, solicitations, everything online--hell, I interacted with creators directly online.

But, that was then and this is now. I still don't need--or want--Wizard in my life, but let's see how the old girl is holding up. Is it still a waste of paper or does it hold some value?

I chose the year-end issue very specifically since it was always my favourite issue of the year. It was always bigger, full of longer articles, usually a giant interview with someone important and other fun stuff.

This issue isn't like that. It has the usual year-end awards, but is arranged in such a hap-hazard way that I don't know what the point is.

A break-down of the issue (in which I also spoil all of their awards):

* Editorial
* Letters
* News
* "Man of the Year": Joe Quesada
* "Event of the Year": Civil War
* "Artist of the Year": Steve McNiven
* "Single Issue of the Year": New Avengers #22
* "Breakout Talent of the Year": Charlie Huston
* "'What The?' Moments of the Year": ten random moments where Wizard asks "The fuck?" They're divided equally between Marvel and DC with five each (four for each in the comics, one movie moment each). But, funny thing, ALL of the Marvel moments come from a comic relating to Civil War, the event of the year.
* A comparison between Punisher MAX and Punisher War Journal
* A preview of Olivier Coipel's sketches for the new Thor series
* "Boldest Move of the Year": 52
* "Writer of the Year": Brian K. Vaughan
* "Book of the Year": Daredevil
* "Hero of the Year": Superman
* "Cover Artist of the Year": JG Jones
* "New Characters of the Year"
* "Comebacks of the Year"
* "Villain of the Year": The Governor (from The Walking Dead)
* "Mini-Series of the Year": B.P.R.D.: The Universal Machine
* "Movie of the Year": The Descent
* "TV Show of the Year": Lost vs. Battlestar Galactica
* "Animated Series of the Year": Justice League Unlimited
* "Video Game of the Year": Ultimate Alliance
* "DVD of the Year": Superman: The Ultimate Collector's Edition Box Set
* "Collection of the Year": Absolute Kingdom Come
* A chart on who is leading the villains against the Justice League
* An article on New Avengers: Illuminati
* An article on the Metal Men
* An article on Zod
* An article on Green Lantern: Year One
* An article on X-23: Target X
* A profile of the Inhumans as it relates to Silent War
* Three writers argue who is the best Flash (guess who Alex Ross champions)
* Five reason you must read The Lone Ranger (the guy at the shop told me that he loves this book and I should keep an eye out for this article)
* An article on Kaare Andrews and Spider-Man: Reign
* An article on The Darkness
* A section called "MEGA!" where they discuss movies, DVDs, games, manga, toys and other random shit (for some reason, the anime and manga stuff of the year is in here, but DVD of the year isn't--odd)
* "Book Shelf" (reviews of collections--a place where collection of the year might have gone)
* The indie section--where indie book of the year (Scott Pilgrim) is located
* Price guide--with sidebar lists of shit like hot ten comics, hot writers/artists, blah blah blah
* Graded comics guide
* Shows and cons
* Final page goof, this time with Iron Man's Myspace page

Now, every article from "Man of the Year" until "Boldest Move of the Year" also has a "Civil War Report" tag, so you would think they're organised that way, BUT the articles on New Avengers: Illuminati and Silent War ALSO have that tag, so they obviously aren't organised that way--the "'What The?' Moments of the Year" also has that tag for some reason even though it's half DC stuff. Is it just me or should all of the "best of the year" awards go together as they used to?

As well, why do DVD of the year and collection of the year warrant articles independent of their respective sections, while other awards don't?

It's just sloppy, sloppy layout.

Looking at the issue in a more linear way, let's start with the letters. Same old shit, really. People write letters, they get half-assed responses that are supposed to be funny. What really annoys me is how in one letter, the author apparently spelled title "tittle" and the staffer feels the need to mock him for this. Now, am I to expect that this was the only typo found in EVERY letter printed this month? If it is, fair enough, Wizard has the readers who can spell; if not, it's just amateurish dickery. You don't pick and choose which words to edit and which words not to edit (the only exception being if the letter writer is writing in to point out mistakes you made, then you get to point out their mistakes). And, it was a legitimate question posed, but totally ignored because this jackass felt the need to be . . . well, a jackass.

Today, I got the latest issue of Chart in the mail. It's a Canadian music magazine and on its letter page, it doesn't edit a single thing in the letters/e-mails it receives and answers most of them in a very tongue-in-cheek, confrontational way. Except there it works. Why? Because they don't edit any letter and respond to the letters appropriately. Sure, the answers are very asshole-like, but so are the letters. It mostly comes down to this: Chart's letter page is entertaining, while Wizard's is not. Proof, I submit the last letter found in the new Chart (title underlined, response bolded):

NO YOU ARE
You are an idiot! --(person's name)
And your mom, too.

See, with letters like that, you can be an ass. With letters where a reader questions why a feature in your magazine has been removed, yeah, you don't come off looking that great by being a jerk.

Moving on . . .

The news section isn't that bad. It begins with a summary of events/books/whatever coming up in 2007 to look out for. There's a solid mix of news items and fun little features like a history of Robin versus the Joker. This is probably the section of the issue that works the best, mostly because it seems like it has patterned itself on other magazines.

The actual articles of the issue are . . . fine. Not much depth usually. But that's fine, I suppose. The Civil War article summarises the series, hitting the major plot points--oh, it also contains an "editor of the year" award for Tom Brevoort.

My largest complaint with regards to most of the awards (especially the ones relating to specific people) is that Wizard used to get quotes from OTHER creators. If Kurt Busiek was writer of the year, they didn't talk to Kurt Busiek, they talked to other writers who would tell you why Kurt Busiek is so good. You save talking to the specific creator for interviews and profiles. As cool as it is to see some of Brian K. Vaughan's thoughts on his work, that doesn't exactly show me that he's writer of the year--whereas, his peers telling me what they love about his work does.

The JG Jones article is particularly good, only because it has every cover of 52 up to #35 with commentary by Jones and various creators like Mark Waid, Andy Kubert, and colorist Alex Sinclair among others. This technique of changing up how some of the awards are presented works well in the JLU article, which has the ten best moments of the past season and even the Lost versus Battlestar Galactica one.

The non-awards articles are more of the same. They change up the style and format to keep things somewhat interesting, but rarely go beyond the minimum as far as depth goes.

The "MEGA!" section works as well as the news section, giving you information and not much else. It does the job.

"Book Shelf" is an interesting move for the magazine as it acknowledges the importance of trades as ONLY collections get reviewed--no single issues. All but three reviews are a couple of hundred words, but they do a decent job. Again, Wizard seems to have looked to magazines like Rolling Stone and Spin, which also contain large review sections, and aped the format. And it works. The reviews are to the point and give you a good sense of what you'll be getting.

That just leaves the price guide and the less said about it, the better.

Overall, it wasn't a bad read. It certainly has its share of problems and I have no desire to buy another issue (especially with the hefty $7.99 Canadian price tag). I really do think the editorial staff should look to other specialty magazines like Rolling Stone or Sports Illustrated and see what works there and what doesn't. It seems like they already have to some extent.

Oh, and you'll notice that I didn't really talk about how Marvel and DC dominate the content and that's because I don't see the point. That's Wizard. They could definitely improve in that area, but I'm not going to harp on that when they have more basic issues to deal with.

The next few weeks will be really random with updates, just so you know. The holidays and all, I definitely won't be buying something every week. You'll probably get one or two giant posts instead.

Random Reading: Justice Society of America #1, Midnighter #2, New Avengers #25, Deathblow #2, Welcome to Tranquility #1, Punisher X-Mas Special 2006

Very much a random reading because I went to local shop here in Windsor wanting two specific comics, Immortal Iron Fist #1 and newuniversal #1, but they didn't have a copy of either. So, I pretty much stood in front of that rack for five minutes and picked various titles, some I'd read before, others just because. So, let's get this under way.

Justice Society of America #1

Didn't World War III happen at the end of Morrison's JLA run? You know, Mageddon gets closer to Earth, every country in the world starts attacking every other country until the heroe step in and shut the ancient war machine down. Oh, I am such a geek it's not funny.

Anyway, never read a single issue of JSA and never really got the attraction to a superteam based around old people who should, by all rights, be pretty easy to kill. But, it got a lot of praise by a lot of people, so what do I know?

I do know this issue is all kinds of mediocre. It's not bad, it's just not great. I'm sure there are all sorts of people who read it and creamed their jeans, but I just didn't give a fuck.

The basic plot is: sometime during the missing year in the DCU that 52 is telling, World War III happened and the JSA saved the day, except the team was broken up or something, so now they need to get it together again, except bigger, better and with more young people because the old guys are really fucking old and can die any second.

So, much of the issue is recruitment of young people, like the angry Damage or the hyper-fan who talks too much or the guy from the future who lives in a mental institution. This is played off against a story about some guy named Mr. America whose entire family is slaughtered because of his connection to the JSA and he uses his dying energy to try and warn them.

See, it's not bad, it just did nothing for me. That seems to my general feeling about most of Geoff Johns' writing. I can see where he's coming from and why some people would like it and appreciate that it accomplishes what it sets out to do, but it's not my thing. It's kind of like critiquing the writing in a creative writing class: you don't comment based on taste, but on what they're trying to do and how to make that better. Johns is doing everything he sets out to do here.

The basic idea that the JSA exists to train and give a sense of connection for younger heroes is good. I was thinking while walking home that the basic idea that's used for the Legion of Super-Heroes where ANYONE can be a member would work really well here. A real Justice Society of America. But, maybe that's where the title is moving.

The only thing I don't like is the last page and the four-panel "preview" of what's "Coming this year in Justice Society of America" because it gives the sense that this issue isn't enough to keep me as a reader interested enough to pick up #2.

If this sort of title seems like your thing, you'll almost certainly enjoy this debut issue. Me, I just don't care.

Midnighter #2

Midnighter is sent back to World War I to kill Adolf Hitler because killing him there will stop him from rising to power, but also not attract any unwanted attention. It's kinda smart.

There's actually not much to this issue. Midnighter is sent back, kills various German and French troops, tries to kill Hitler and is stopped by time-travel police or something. We're also told why Paulus has kidnapped Midnighter to do this.

The art is good, the pacing is fine, the dialogue is solid. Ennis is obviously playing to his strengths by sticking Midnighter in World War I. It's an entertaining issue, but light on plot--which isn't necessarily a bad thing.

New Avengers #25

This is the third straight issue of New Avengers I've picked up. I got the Spider-Woman #23, the Sentry #24 and now Iron Man #25. I mostly picked this up to see if Iron Man is a total fucking dick here, too. Every other tie-in to Civil War I've read has had him as a prick, so in his Bendis spotlight, does he come off alright?

Um, not really.

It begins with a disgruntled employee of his, one of his designers/engineers/armour builders breaks into Avengers Tower and shuts Tony down, pissed off that Stark would use his work like this. Tony argues that he paid for it, so fuck off. The employee, Kenny, tells him to fuck off with that bullshit because he wasn't just an employee but also a friend and he was never told his work would be used this way.

At the same time, SHIELD tries to save Stark.

The thing is, Kenny has an anti-matter generator and he's going to take the entire building out to stop Stark. Except Commander Hill, the director of SHIELD, stops him.

Yay. Day saved.

The end has her suggesting that Tony become the new director of SHIELD because it would piss people off or something.

Stark actually isn't portrayed as an asshole, he just comes off as one through the eyes of Kenny. And I guess it depends on your politics, too. If you're like me and don't think money is a good enough excuse, Stark is an asshole. If you're of the mindset that Kenny got paid, so who cares what he thinks, you'll side with Stark.

Still, a more balanced portrayal than . . . everything else I've seen.

Deathblow #1

If I understand what's going on, Azzarello is doing something very cool with this book. Michael Cray has been presumed dead for six years. That means he's missed the huge shift in global military practices, especially American military practices. And now, he's being caught up through psychological conditioning in the only place that can catch someone up: New York City.

They alter his mind a little, stick him with a family he doesn't remember, tell him his wife he doesn't remember has been killed and wait for him to respond.

At least, that's what I think is happening. I'm definitely going to keep buying this title. Fuck the trades, this issue makes me want to see how Azzarello handles things as quickly as possible.

Like with the first issue, I find the art to be horribly ugly and barely able to tell the story.

Welcome to Tranquility #1

Um, why is it that only, like, two of the characters on the cover actually appear in the comic? And the two that do aren't the young heroes that are featured in the background anymore. One of those design things that annoys me.

First off, the art is passable. It's nothing special and didn't do much for me.

Second off, same goes for the writing.

Some interesting ideas like the elderly Captain Marvel-esque hero who can't remember his special word, so reads from dictionaries of all languages constantly in an effort to stumble across it.

Or . . . well, I guess the central idea of elderly superheroes.

But, otherwise, there's nothing here that interests me. There's the requisite "old hero wants to relive glory days and causes damage" and "new asshole superperson versus old heroes" scenes.

This issue seemed to suffer from the problem with most first issues these days: it didn't feel complete. It felt like that if I'm going to have to pick up five more in order to actually be told the full premise of the book and, fuck it, I don't want to.

I assume those characters on the cover are going to show up, but they didn't appear here and nothing here makes me want to stick around and find out who they are.

Punisher X-Mas Special 2006

I love CP Smith's art. Have since his work on Stormwatch: Team Achilles and he's grown a lot since then. So, the book looks fantastic.

I haven't had much exposure to Stuart Moore except through the titles he edited back in the day.

The story is basic: it's Christmas, which means all of the big mob bosses are surrounded by family and, thus, the Punisher can't kill them because the Punisher doesn't kill innocent people. So, he's left dealing with the lower-end scumbags that he normally doesn't have time for.

In this case, it's Jimmy Nouveau, some asshole who's started his own little new age cult type thing except operates out of a strip club and was tied to the death of a cop and a small boy.

It's a decent enough story. A little cutesy at points with Punisher making a "naughty" and "nice" list. But, the ending is pretty messed up and speaks to his character well.

It won't fill you with holiday cheer, but it's the Punisher, so what do you expect?

Sometime in the next few days, I'll be doing an update where I guide you through the year-end issue of Wizard. It's been five or six years since I've read it, so let's see if it's still the shitty rag it was then.

Random Reading: Ms. Marvel #7 and Hellblazer: Empathy is the Enemy

Discovered that the 7-11 right by campus sells comics, so I'll probably hit random Marvel titles over the next while that way--what is it with every store selling just Marvel comics? The bookstore, 7-11, the Mac's near my house . . . all Marvel, no DC. How odd.

Ms. Marvel #7

Another "Civil War" book, except it's a pro-registration one. And Iron Man still comes off as a dick. Seriously. I find that funny. In this whole thing, no matter WHAT side is presented, Iron Man is a dick. "Civil War" should be subtitled "Everybody Hates Tony."

Hell, while we're at it, let's look at the pro-registration side we've got here. The last experience I had with Ms. Marvel was back in Kurt Busiek and George Perez's Avengers run where she was drunk off her ass and got booted from the Avengers for trying to save the world drunk. Apparently she's sober now and has, well, no personality as far as I can tell.

She's one of the heroes who's sided with Iron Man, along with Wonder Man and the hero formerly known as Spider-Woman, but is now Arachne, I'm assuming, because Bendis decided he liked the original Spider-Woman and that meant someone had to change their name.

The plot of this issue is pretty boring. Teenage spider-themed hero Arana is brought in by the Amazingly-Named Duo while her father is all "This is America, you can't just arrest people for no reason!" And she decides to register. Yay.

Meanwhile, Arachne is on the run with her boyfriend, Shroud, who she was supposed to arrest (seriously, why would you send the guy's girlfriend to arrest them besides wanting to set up a fugitive story?). They steal some clothes and a car and have an argument about going to Colorado to get her daughter, all the while being tracked by S.H.I.E.L.D. Fools!

And now we get to Iron Man's a dick time: a big meeting is called and Ms. Marvel brings the Spider-Girl chick with her and Iron Man's all like "This is big time classified government business, so if she fucks it up, your ass is grass!" and Ms. Marvel is all like "No shit, asshole." So they're all sent to capture the fugitives in the green car, which means the top secret classified info is suddenly a big fucking fight on a freeway where the trained superheroes cause a bunch of civilian cars to crash. Yeah, the "professionals" sure are great at what they do.

It ends with Shroud all captured and Ex-Spider-Woman riding atop a big rig in a "Dazzler" t-shirt. Oooh, I can't wait for next issue!

For a pro-registration book, I came away thinking that side was full of even bigger idiots than I did going into it. Let's see, they abduct teenage girls, their best heroes are Ms. Marvel and Wonder Man, Iron Man is a dick to his own people, they sent one of their heroes to arrest her lover and are surprised when she decides to take off with him, they claim to be trained professionals but cause just as much carnage and civilian destruction as always, and they can't even catch someone so lame she couldn't even hold onto the name "Spider-Woman."

*claps slowly* Bravo, Marvel. Not too obvious which side you're on.

John Constantine, Hellblazer: Empathy is the Enemy

I've been waiting for this to come out for a while. Usually two or three times a week, I would check the bookstore's website to see if it had come in yet. I blame Warren Ellis for getting me into Constantine and loving to see how different writers do him. Now, I am torn about Vertigo's decision to release the first collection from Denise Mina's run before fully collecting Mike Carey's run--although, it looks like they will be collecting both at the same time, which is odd. But, I do understand why they've done it. It's obvious, just looking at the cover where Mina's name is the biggest type except for the word Constantine. Mina is a well-known crime novelist, so trying to sell the book with her name is smart--and Hellblazer is one of the few books in the mainstream where I could see people picking up more collections (and liking them). It seems in all the rush to give people every other Vertigo book under the sun, people always forget about this one even though, it tends to be one of the best-written titles they have at any given time. Because everyone who grew up east of the Atlantic in the mainstream worships old Johnny boy the way the rest of us cream our jeans over Spider-Man, but with more respect and reverence, the quality never dips too far.

In this book, Constantine has a problem. He helped a guy out by wiping his memory, but that meant taking on the problem himself, which is feeling empathy. So much empathy for everyone that it hurts so much you want to kill yourself. But, Constantine is a bit of a bastard naturally, so he can handle it, right?

Peppered throughout his journey to find out how the guy got his name and what it all means are flashbacks to various points in the past, beginning with 6th century and some monks building a monastery on an island near Scotland. They sacrifice one of their own as part of the custom, but three days later, one of them receives a vision from God to dig him up--and they find that he isn't dead. The not-dead monk tells them about how Heaven and Hell aren't what they think they are and they've got it all wrong, so everyone assumes he's a puppet of Satan and buries him alive.

What it comes down to is that there is a third place that has been taking the souls of the dead and a cult wants to shut it down by creating an empathy engine that will make everyone love one another and they want Constantine to willingly sacrifice his life to make it happen. And the bastard does.

The story is engaging, is well-structured, always giving the reader new information, but not too much. It does jump around a bit near the beginning, but that's to be expected since this is Mina's first comic work and no one gets a handle on the mechanics right away.

The art is also fantastic. Leonardo Manco has long been a favourite of mine and his style is perfect for a horror book like this.

The only downside is that there are a few spoilers of what happens in Mike Carey's run for anyone who has been following that only in trades (like me). Big details that are shocks, but also don't actually tell you WHAT happened, if you get me. In a way, the spoilers just make me want to read the next few collections of the Carey run even more now.

As for Mina's John Constantine, I like him. He's a bit too nice and engaging for much of the story, but that's because he feels empathy towards everyone. The John at the very end is one we all know and love, and makes me want to read the next collection of this run as well.

One problem I saw with this collection is that I'm never told anything about Denise Mina aside from the "Author of . . ." blurb under her name on the cover, nor are there any of the usual promo pages that list the other Hellblazer collections available. If the goal of this trade, as I figure, is partly to bring in Mina's readers, pointing them to specific titles would be beneficial and every other trade on the planet usually has bios of creators, so why not here? The only person who gets any bio is Ian Rankin following his introduction. Odd.

But, it's a good read with a fantastic ending. Pick it up.