Monday, August 15, 2011

Blogathon 20: Random Thoughts! Part Two

[Continuing my random thoughts on event comics and other trends of the past decade of superhero comics.]

Random Thought! I will never understand why it's Speedball's fault that the bad guy whose superpower it is to explode exploded. Aside from putting a bullet in his head from three football fields away, what the fuck do you do to stop that from happening? The guy has no other skills! Because the Avengers have magical 'stop guys from exploding' tactics...

Random Thought! Civil War was effective because it was so fucking stupid. It started idiotic arguments and got people all riled up with every issue. It wasn't simply building a 'big moment,' it was building big dumb moments that would piss people off.

Random Thought! Where was the person who said to Tony Stark, "Look, I'm with you, but... uh... I'm not fighting Captain America. That's just not going to happen."? I'll never understand how those characters went from best buds to fighting one another so quickly.

Random Thought! Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman standing around, talking about how relevent each of them are is... well, pretty dumb, too. That shit only matters to us, not them. That's called bad metafiction.

Random Thought! The idea of actual villains making up the Thunderbolts was another dumb idea and one that Warren Ellis spent 12 issues mocking and pointing out how stupid it is.

Random Thought! If you pay attention to the timeline in Bendis's Avengers titles, you'll noticed that the time period Civil War and Secret Invasion was, like, a month. Of course people thought Tony Stark did a shitty job! He was there for a month and a giant alien invasion happened! He did a shitty job!

Random Thought! Final Crisis was the real 'secret invasion.' Secret Invasion was more like 'really obvious typical invasion.' After all, in the former, evil won before the good guys knew there was a fight; in the latter, the bad guys revealed themselves at the beginning of the invasion and started fighting in Times Square.

Random Thought! Okay, so Grant Morrison had a pacifist Superman, too. He won a fight with a song.

Random Thought! People in the Marvel universe are jerks. First, they blame Speedball for Nitro exploding. Then, they blame Spider-Woman because a Skrull replaced her who happened to be the leader of the Skrulls. Christ... fucking assholes.

Random Thought! I want to write a parody of one of the Velvet Underground/Lou Reed's songs called "Darkseid Says."

[Don't forget to donate what you can to the Hero Initiative! (Details in this post.) After you do, let me know via comment or e-mail (found at the righthand side) so I can keep track of donations -- and who to thank.]