No Love Lost for Loveless

Yesterday, I also picked up the second Loveless collection, Thicker than Blackwater. I can't say that I'm that impressed, honestly.

The series tells the story of a small, Southern town, Blackwater, shortly after the end of the Civil War and how it's dealing with the fallout--namely, being on the side that lost and having Union soldiers occupying their town and the surrounding area. As well, Wes Cutter, a Confederate soldier thought dead has returned, pissed off a bunch of people and become sheriff. There's other stuff going on, too, but I honestly can't tell you what because

it

all

happens

so

very

very

very

very

slowly.

I've now read twelve issues of the series and I don't know that much more than when I began. I know Brian Azzarello is a big-picture writer and if you want any sort of payoff, you have to be in for the long haul, but this is much worse than other work of his that I've read. At least those other works had the occasional mini-payoff. This series, though, spends twelve issues on set-up pretty much and it's tedious--and, at times, boring.

Now, because I do trust Azzarello, I'll probably pick up the next collection in the hopes that an idea of the bigger picture emerges, but I'd recommend that anyone interested in this series wait until four or five of the books are out before picking them up.

We can drive it home with one headlight . . .

New comics. Let's dive right in.

Batman #665

Batman is afraid of ghosts. Seriously. Grant Morrison? Lost his fucking mind BECAUSE HE'S WRITING A BATMAN WHO'S AFRAID OF FUCKING GHOSTS.

But, it also starts with the best first-person narration of a Batman book in a while:

"Face down in my own blood and vomit in the pouring rain.

"Must

"Must be

"Must be a better way

"To strike terror

"into the hearts of criminals."

Still. Batman freaked out of his mind about a trio of ghosts.

The Ultimates 2 #13

I'll actually be buying the second volume in one of those deluxe Marvel hardcovers, but figured I'd grab this issue and judge it. It was just about what I expected: pretty art, some action, half-decent dialogue, a few nice character moments, total action flick.

Except, it was surprisingly light on the action. Sure, an eight-page spread is nice and all, but when compared to the fights I saw in the previous volume, this little war between Norse gods and trolls and giants and shit was over pretty damn quickly.

I'll reserve my final judgement for the hardcover.

New Avengers #30

So, Clint Barton is Ronin. *shrugs* Good enough for me.

I'm liking this Luke Cage. He's all paranoid and fucked up and acting exactly like a guy would in that situation. Everyone else is way too fucking calm and it plays well. Of course, I've been watching The Venture Bros. this week with a friend who'd never seen the show before and I can't take Dr. Strange seriously anymore. When he was doing his whole "magic spell that shows purity" I nearly pissed myself laughing because I imagined him saying it like Dr. Orpheus.

Otherwise, great issue.

Mighty Avengers #3

Okay, am I the only one who finds Tigra kind of creepy in that having sex with her is like fucking a giant lady-shaped cat? Same thing with Beast. Except I'm confused: is Tigra all hairy or is her skin just orange with black stripes? And why is Hank Pym such a dork here? He's been having sex with the Wasp on-and-off since the '60s-I think he can handle himself a little better than that.

Oh, and Ultron is kicking ass.

Still loving Bendis' use of thought balloons and the story is engaging with a final page that is just fantastic. I'm really glad I decided to buy the two Avengers books.

Thunderbolts #114

Well, isn't it great how the Thunderbolts squad totally sucks ass at capturing rogue superhumans? And so far, they've been up against GOOD GUYS. Imagine what would happen if they had to take on a villain willing to kill them.

Why the fuck didn't Penance do anything?

Lovely moment with the Swordsman and a TV.

This is a really entertaining book that shows just how well Ellis can do superhero action, even within the context of the larger Marvel universe--and proves, as I've argued for many years, who gives a fuck about a creator loving the characters as long as he/she is a professional?

The Immortal Iron Fist #5

So, it all comes down to Randall not wanting to fight against six other immortal weapons in some weird tournament and now Danny is totally fucked.

Past issues have moved a little slow, but this one picks up the pace, delivers the missing pieces of the puzzle and sets up the next issue's final showdown well. Although, I am confused about why Luke Cage is there with Misty and the other Hero for Hire since I thought they were on the other side, working for the government or registered or whatever. Maybe it's a case of putting friendship first, I dunno.

I still have Loveless: Thicker than Blackwater, but it will have to wait.

Losers

I reviewed the first part of the recent Teen Titans storyarc where the group faced the Teen Titans East, a collection of villains that match up against the heroes, almost member for member. I thought the issue was kind of shit and I realised a few days later, it was because I consider the whole evil version of the superhero team to be really fucking stupid and I blame Grant Morrison for bringing it back.

Now, of course, Morrison didn't invent the idea, but he made it popular with the first incarnation of the Injustice Gang in his JLA run where Lex Luthor gathered the Joker, Dr. Light, the Mirror Master, Circe, the Ocean Master and Jemm--all enemies of the Big Seven. Of course, if you read the story, you'll realise quickly that the Injustice Gang gets its ass handed to it. Seriously, they barely do anything--and most of the stuff they actually accomplish was faked by the JLA when Batman realised Luthor's methodology.

The fact of the matter is, you can't take a group like the first Injustice Gang seriously as a threat because it's a group of losers. None of these guys can take their respective hero one-on-one, so we're to assume by teaming up to take on all of them (plus, in this case, Green Arrow and Aztek--later, Plastic Man) that they'll somehow succeed?

No. Which Morrison seemed to recognise, which is why the second version of the Injustice Gang seemed much more threatening. Instead of villains that fight individual heroes, he used villains that almost beat the entire League by themselves. Now, we didn't get to see the true outcome of that fight because it was also taking place as the whole Mageddon/World War III (the first World War III) thing was happening. But, still. The lesson was there.

Too bad no one seemed to notice.

As I was going to St. Ives, I met a man with seven wives and every wife had seven sacks and every sack had seven cats and every cat had seven kits

In my quest to look at Morrison's post-Flex Mentallo superhero work, I read the entire Seven Soldiers story yesterday (with the three-part JLA Classified prologue the night before).

But, before I no doubt write the shortest blog post on the entire thing in the history of the web, I'll direct you to a few places that discuss the entire series in far more intelligent ways:

Jog's reviews
Greg Burgas' 31 Days of Seven Soldiers
Barbelith's Seven Solders Wiki

Now then, my overall impression of the entire saga was a somewhat lacklustre, apathetic one. At least with regards to what each character does to fight the Sheeda. It's rather interesting, but most of them seem to do little minor things. Mister Miracle, for example, does nothing to fight the Sheeda. Sure, he frees Aurackles, but how does that fight the Sheeda? Jog speculates that he's not even one of the Seven Soldiers really, which makes sense. The Manhattan Guardian does some fighting of Sheeda warriors at the end, but his only other contribution (that I can see) is being on the train that runs over the Horrigal and lets Klarion escape.

Now, I actually like that some of the characters don't seem to do much--or, the things they do to help are only minor elements of their stories. The Bulleteer is the key to killing Glorianna, but beyond that, she does nothing (except not show up in Seven Soldiers #0). Except everything she does leads her to driving that car in Seven Soldiers #1.

In a way, the whole series is about coincidence and how seemingly meaningless moments build to create meaningful actions.

Another theme that I picked out (and was slightly touched on, sort of, by Burgas, mostly in his child/adult theme) was one that I saw in Flex Mentallo (and can see in almost everything else Morrison does): the tension between past and future. Now, I'm leaving the present out of it, because the present is, ultimately, transient and meaningless. Here, the conflict is between the past (now) and the future (the Sheeda)--both are the present depending on the perspective.

Justin(a) struggles between the past and future as (s)he acclimates to our time.
The Guardian struggles between his past of killing an innocent teen and his future as a hero.
Zatana struggles between her past as a fuck-up and her future as a confident hero.
Klarion struggles between the past his people are trapped in and the future of our world.
Mister Miracle struggles between the New Gods' past and future.
Bulleteer struggles between her past and future lives.
Frankenstein doesn't actually struggle, he just acts the same no matter what time it is despite being from a past time.

And, of course, all of these series have a tension between old characters and new, same with the name Seven Soldiers. There's even a tension between the first group we see in issue 0 and the seven we follow in their series.

Stylistically, Morrison walks the fine line between the past creators/styles of these books and making them modern. The best example of this is in Mister Miracle where Morrison updates Kirby's New Gods. Or in some of the narration found in The Manhattan Guaradian (very bombastic) or Frankenstein (pulpy). Each of the series has its own unique take on the superhero genre itself, creating a tension between what he's doing with it and what's come before.

Now, the finale of the saga, issue one. It falls victim to the typical Morrison ending in that it isn't actually that satisfying. I've discussed this briefly before, arguing that Morrison doesn't give conclusive endings because of the superhero comic's nature. The nature of the medium/genre is serial, meaning the story never ends. You'll notice this sort of ending in most of his work: Animal Man, JLA, New X-Men, etc. The ending never feels like an ENDING, because it's not. These characters keep going and will have new adventures. The same thing happens here. We see a few of the characters have endings, of sorts, to their adventure (Klarion becomes leader of the Sheeda, Justina is put in a superhero school, Mister Miracle comes back from the dead, and--uh--that's it), but always with an eye toward the future.

That's where the tension between past and future usually shows up in a way that readers don't like, because it's not a satisyfing way to end stories. Morrison recognises that once he's finished the comic, it's continuity past and is always mindful of the future stories that WILL be told. Hell, that was the whole point of the "Planet X" storyarc basically.

And that's what I took from the series. Oh, and might I once again state how mindblowing J.H. Williams III's art on issue one is? Seriously, he does, what, eleven different styles? Sometimes three or four styles on a single page. And you'll note no Eisner nomination. The fuck? Show me art that is more impressive and well done in the past year. You can't.

Next up in my journey through Morrison's post-Flex Mentallo work (which I've dubbed "The Next Age" for easy reference) is Seaguy. I'm not doing these in any real order, just whatever I feel like. After that, some thoughts on Fantastic Four 1234. By then, I should be finished his JLA run (just began "Rock of Ages").

Another Abstract--Fostering Critical Thinking with Comics

The National Countcil for Teachers of English has a suborganization called Two-Year College Association, and I'm submitting an abstract for their midwest conference in October. The abstract was required to be 100 words, and 100 words is exactly what they get from me, after at least six drafts:

Students first writing about literature frequently have difficulty thinking beyond superficial details such as plot to explore deeper concepts like theme. I engage my students and teach them to read in a new way by presenting a story to them that is told in a medium they don’t think of as literary, comics, and challenging them to find meaning in it. My presentation will focus on the success I’ve had with two particular comic stories, “The Soul of a New Machine” and “Shoot,” utilizing group work and in-class discussion to foster higher-level thinking about the stories, specifically application and analysis.

Thoughts?

The Next Age

It's taken quite a while, but, today, Flex Mentallo arrived. I'd been checking eBay auctions for well over a year and bidding quite often, but hadn't won until a couple of weeks ago. This is mostly because I was never willing to pay more than $50 US for the complete series (and even that seems a bit high, eh?). Sure, I could probably have read it online, but fuck that. I like the physical objects because I obviously have some sort of fetish over comics, books, CDs, DVDs, etc. Best not to explore it too far, though, eh?

(As well, I knew that my getting the actual issues would somehow cause DC to announce a trade of the series, because that's what happens when I get stuff. I avoided buying up the Beatles CDs I didn't have because I read they were working on the remasters--and what happened after I caved and bought the ones I needed? Rolling Stone announced rumours that the remasters were done and soon to be released. Of course, those rumours have yet to come true, but still. I have some sort of ancient curse. This time, I've tried to use it for the good of all of you, okay? So, if DC announces a Flex Mentallo trade within the next six months, you're welcome.)

Anyway . . .

The four-issue mini came today, so I sat down and read it. Well, really, I read the first three issues, ate lunch while watching Newsradio and then read the fourth issue. The verdict? Was Flex Mentallo all that it's made out to be? Was it worth however much I winded up paying for it (adding the $12 COD charge that came with, I probably ended up paying somewhere between $70 and $80 Canadian)?

Yeah, sure, why not.

It's a lovely little meditation on the history of the superhero comic book and its evolution over time, ending with a possible future "age," one Morrison himself has said he tried to move toward with his JLA run. The relationship between the creator and the creation is interesting.

Ultimately, it is a commentary, of sorts, on what happens when fucked up geeks are the ones who end up writing the adventures of Superman, Spider-Man and the rest of your favourite heroes. "Who needs girls when you've got comics?" is my favourite line from the series, because it seems to work well.

I think what makes Flex Mentallo interesting is looking at the last issue almost eleven years later. Did it happen? Did the paradigm shift in the direction Morrison said it should/predicted it would? Hell, has Morrison's own writing went in that direction?

Of course, to determine that, we have to understand what Morrison seems to want. From what I can gather, he wants a return to innocence, but also that, somehow, anyone can be a superhero. Not the pessimistic realism of the so-called "dark age," but a realism, of sorts. I'm having a hard time grasping it, because I'm not entirely convinced Morrison knows what he wants. He seems to obviously not want a direct return to the past, but he also doesn't want realism.

Does he want magic realism? Does he want realistic superheroes that don't automatically mean sex, drugs and a little bit of the ultra-violence?

What the fuck does Grant Morrison want?

I suppose the answer to that is his JLA run. Or would it be his New X-Men? Or Marvel Boy? Or Seaguy? Or Seven Soldiers? Or All-Star Superman? Or Batman?

See, that's where I'm having a problem pinning down Morrison and what he suggests in the final issue of Flex Mentallo--his own superhero work shows no clear direction. The best I can come up with is "respect the past, but always look to the future." So, we're going to use that as our definition of what Morrison wants superhero comics to be/see where they're going.

In the decade since Flex Mentallo have superhero comics gone in that direction?

I have to say yes. Everything we see in superhero comics right now is about the tensions between past and future, of respecting what came before but making it new. We have an entire generation of creators trying to recreate the stories of their childhood with modern sensibilities. Hell, what was Civil War except a return to the early days of the Marvel universe where heroes fought heroes and everything wasn't so certain? Look at the ending to 52: a return to the multiverse, but a different sort of multiverse built to tell self-contained stories (if we're to believe Morrison).

There was the period of unmasking heroes (mostly at Marvel) that put heroes and the average person on more equal footing. Even the unmasking of Spider-Man falls into the tradition of "look how Peter Parker fucked up his life!" in a new and different way (one that has upset longtime fans).

This does raise the issue of whether or not this is how Morrison actually wanted this next age to unfold. That's hard to say, because, as I said, the path he lays out is rather nuanced and vague. I could see someone argue that superhero comics haven't gone down it at all because of its lack of clarity.

Flex Mentallo raises some interesting ideas, ones worth exploring. I'll no doubt do more of that when I reread it sometime within the next few weeks.

Shameless Self-Promotion

What's the use of a comic blog if not to shill for stuff I do?

So, yeah, go buy Futurius: Tales from the Plex Vol. 2, which contains a 22-page comic written by me and drawn by Brice Hall called "Murder from Beyond the Stars."

If you want to learn more, click on the picture below as it will take you to a super-lame interview with me that also has some preview pages.



And while you're at it, you may as well buy the first Futurius: Tales from the Plex as it has a couple of things by me. "Down by the River" with art by Pedro Santos and a script called "The Death of All the Romance."

So, yeah, go do that. Please?

"All you need is fuck."

At some point during this semester, I was reading something and thought "Hey, I wonder if this where Grant Morrison got the 'World of Anders Klimacks' idea in The Filth from?" Except I can't remember what I was reading when I thought that. I flipped through the anthology for my modern drama class, skimming various avant-garde plays for anything that seemed to relate and nothing jumped out at me. I'm thinking now that maybe it was The Incal, thinking that John Difool and Anders Klimacks look alike and that may have been the connection.

Ah well.

In my search, I decided to reread The Filth for the third or fourth time. For those who don't know or haven't read it, The Filth is a 13-part series by Grant Morrison and Chris Weston about Greg Feely, an English man with a cat named Tony and a love of porn who discovers that he is not, in fact, Greg Feely but Ned Slade, an agent for a secret group called the Hand. The Hand is the world's garbage collectors, eliminating various elements of society that make us, as a whole, dirty--usually what are called "anti-persons." Except when the fake personality (Greg) is taken over by the real personality (Ned), it doesn't seem to work. Ned Slade isn't coming back the way he should be and maybe Greg Feely isn't as fictional as everyone says.

I remember when the first issue came out and there was the typical "What the fuck? I don't understand!" bullshit that accompanies almost everything Morrison writes (except for the odd superhero book--and even then, there's a good chance people will say the same thing). Warren Ellis did a really good Bad Signal on the first issue where he pointed out how fucking simple it is.

And the entire series is rather simple and straight-forward. It gets a little tricky at the end, but, for the most part, this is some of Morrison's easiest to understand work. Sure, there are some "trippy" (oh, how I hate that word) elements, but they're window-dressing. It's all about Greg and his attempt to hang onto his life while being told by people that he's crazy for thinking he's a normal person and not a member of some secret police force. How fucking funny is that? I love that inversion of ideas!

The series is also broken up into little mini-stories like the two-part Anders Klimacks porn story where a porn producer creates giant hyper-fertile sperm that impergnate women to death, satirizing the more misogynistic elements of the porn industry. Or, the stand-alone story about Max Thunderstone, the world's first superhero. Each story fits into the overall arc of the series, but also hint at the true scope of the world depicted here. But, in a weird way, seeing these various missions doesn't give me the desire to see more of this series, because each mission is just so fucking ridiculous.

The Filth is patently absurd in nature. The Hand dresses in weird day-glo uniforms (complete with bright-coloured wigs), have Nazi-dolphins, and steal their technology from the pages of a comic book. How can you take this book too seriously?

And that's where the brilliance lies: the best part of the book is Greg Feely's attempt to simply live his life. In a way, the conflict is between real life and fiction. Yeah, comics are cool and all, but they're just stories--what matters is your relationships with others.

In that way, The Filth is a strangely positive book dressed up in funny colours just so you'll read it. It says you can't just say you're helping the world by keeping things the same, by eliminating the bad elements of society, you need to also help out people, make lives better. Basically, all you need is love.

Be on my side or be on your side

Two issues of Ashley Wood's D'Airain Adventure have been released to date. I want to actually call it what it says on the cover: D'Airain Adventure Magasin Comique because that is much cooler. If I were publishing a comic, I would so steal "Magasin Comique" as the subtitle.

I've been a fan of Wood's work since Automatic Kafka with Joe Casey. I missed out on the Popbot stuff, but was buying Lore (which ended? What the fuck happened to Lore anyway? I've got, what, five issues--I know a second trade was released, but I can't find any info actually telling me what it contains).

In each of these issues, we're treated to three stories plus the odd piece of stand-alone art. The three stories are serials: "Les Mort 13," "Black Magick" and "Zombies Versus Robots."

"Les Mort 13" is all about a circus performer who cheats death has invaded a small town where everyone disappeared in an effort to take revenge on someone. And it may all be in his head. Or it may not be.

In "Black Magick" there's this little cul-du-sac with all but one lot developed. The empty lot has been empty for years and then, in the middle of the night, a house appears. The adults all shrug it off, thinking they didn't notice construction, while the teenagers are all "ZOMG!" And there's this guy in sunglasses who seems to know what's going on, but may just kill everyone.

"Zombies Versus Robots" has a trio of scientists who seem to hate each other working on some interdimensional portal that winds up killing one, so another gets in a giant robot suit and goes through the portal. Oh, and all three scientists hate one another.

Of the three, "Black Magick" has the most straight-forward, easy to follow art--followed quickly by "Zombies Versus Robots." Wood's art, for the most part, is quite restrained here. "ZVR" does start off with a manic two-page splash in each issue that has . . . well, zombies versus robots.

Robots pop up quite a bit in the stories and pin-ups. In issue two, there's even a two-page story called "The Robot War" or the promise at the end of issue one that coming soon is a feature called "World's Best Robots." Actually, if there are two constants in each issue (besides the serials), it's robots and women.

And why shouldn't there be? D'Airain Adventure could be title "Ashley Wood Does What the Fuck He Wants Monthly" without any change in content. Which isn't a bad thing as long as you like Wood's work--and if you don't, why the fuck are you buying this book?

My main problem is with the writing, which Wood is assisted on by TP Louise and Chris Ryall (who is also the editor of the book--which should send up flags, honestly). The serials aren't written as serials--or, not well enough to work each month. Now, I can ignore that because I know I'm going to buy every issue and have no problem waiting until each story has been fully told and then reading them that way. I imagine most buying this book are the same way, but that's sad. I'd much rather see one full story per issue or more non-serial work. Since it IS Ashley Wood doing what he wants, I'd like to see a bit more freedom. Three ongoing serials just seems to be the wrong way to put the book together.

But, that is a minor quibble.

Oh, there's also some kid who wears a hoodie, shoots at robots and is named Bambalad that shows up on the covers (well, the covers I have since there are severall per issue) and on the odd filler page/inside cover. He's kind of weird.

Fans of Ashley Wood are no doubt already buying this series, but it may be worth flipping through in the store for others. It's a fun little book where I can honestly say I'm buying it for the art.

I had the Hypertime of my life

While reading over the various bits on Newsarama about 52 (interview with Mark Waid, interview with Geoff Johns, interview with Keith Giffen and the last week of those questions about the series--although, seriously, if your comic REQUIRES an online Q&A after, your comic isn't doing its job--and 52 isn't the only title to do that, so I'm not picking on it), it occurred to me that the whole ending of 52 seemed familiar, sort of.

And then I remembered a little thing called Hypertime.

You know, the concept pioneered by Grant Morrison and Mark Waid back in the late '90s as a way to cicumvent the lack of a multiverse and drive the DCU back into the lunacy of the Silver Age. Looking at this Wikipedia article on Hypertime, I see that it has been mentioned during 52 despite pretty much being cast aside years earlier.

I'm left wondering what's the point of the ending of 52. Why create a new multiverse (yeah, yeah, yeah, I just spoiled it--if you're reading THIS blog then you would have HAD to have encountered the end of the series) when one already existed--one that was much more vast and presented far more possibilities?

I'm sure there are numerous answers (the most logical one I've thought of being that 52 Earths is easier to understand than the mess-that-Hypertime-was), but it strikes me as odd that the big reveal was really a solution to a problem that was (theoretically) already solved--or a problem that was solved, recreated by Geoff Johns in Infinite Crisis and then solved again for the hell of it, a year later.

I am looking forward to the interview with Grant Morrison about the series, because I haven't seen much said by him about it.

In an interstellar burst, I'm back to save the universe!

Wow, I have not posted in a long time. This past week, I've been without internet access, so there's an almost good excuse. For now, just some reviews.

52 #52

I read bits and pieces of this series since my dad was buying it. I think I fully read the first few weeks and then began skimming every issue. That skimming became much more prominant when I moved to Windsor and would only see issues on visits home. But, following a few comic sites kept me in touch enough. That said, OBVIOUSLY, the final issue of the series isn't aimed at me, someone who BARELY read the previous 51 issues. I saw it in the shop and figured what the hell, I'll give it a look, see how the whole thing ends.

And it ends kind of blahly.

Am I the only one who found it funny that for a series where each issue takes place over a week, barely any of this issue actually took place over week 52? 90% of the thing was outside of the time stream or back on week 1. Not a major problem or anything, but something I found funny.

There's also the big reveal that had me going "Oh wait, that wasn't the way it was already?" Seriously. I'm just ignorant of the DCU to have the big reveal fall totally flat because I thought that was the way things automatically were post-Infinite Crisis.

All in all, I ended up skimming the issue after fifteen pages because I just didn't give a fuck. My main problem with every issue of 52 that I read was that it read like it was written by committee. I couldn't pick out any real style or anything that made me actually take notice. It was all so mediocre after passing through so many hands. But, that's me.

They did it and that's good enough, I suppose.

Sensational Spider-Man Annual #1

Matt Fraction's the writer, so I bought it. It was a pretty good read. It does what an annual does best these days: tells a decent, complete story within the confines of the current status quo. Fraction does that here with a nice little love story about Mary Jane and Peter. My favourite part is the telling of an incident back when they were dating from both perspectives.

Is it the best thing you'll read this year? No. But, if you want a nice little Spider-Man story that will warm your heart a bit, check it out.

Mighty Avengers #2

You know, it wasn't until the very end of this issue that I realised that these people didn't know that the weird woman is Ultron. We all knew it was because of solicits and the cover and all, but they didn't. Wow, way to take the punch out of that last page, eh?

After the first issue wowing me so much, this one didn't do as much. It moved far too slowly for what I expected of the title and had a few moments that made me go "What the fuck?" Like Ms. Marvel thinking that after this, Ares was off the team despite the fact that she was the one who lobbied for him in the previous issue. Maybe she would think that, but it made me think she's a flighty, two-faced person who probably shouldn't be leading the Avengers if her first reaction is "Fuck you, get off my team!"

An entertaining read, but

too

damn

slow.

Omega Flight #1-2

"Ohmygod, you're Canadian, so you must love Alpha Flight, right?"

Actually, I've never gotten that. No one has ever said anything like that to me. Good thing, too, because I've always thought Alpha Flight was kind of shit. I don't give a fuck if it's Canadian--a shitty book is a shitty book. Hell, the fact that it's a Canadian team always made me pissed off that it was so shitty. I've always been one of those people who is tougher on stuff I like/identify with than stuff I don't. Like, I'm harder on the leader of the political party I vote for than any other political leader simply because if that's the person I'm with, I want that person to be the best.

I would have loved it if Alpha Flight was ever near the best, but it wasn't. And neither is Omega Flight.

The book has a good concept: American superhuman registration causes supervillains to cross the border and fuck with Canada . . . a country that's had superhuman registration for years, apparently. Oh wait, that doesn't actually make sense.

This book also proves that Iron Man is an asshole. Say you're the director of SHIELD and you're working with the Canadian government to help put together a Canadian superhero team to fight American supervillains, does it seem like a good idea to send the most pig-headed, nearly-racist, bigoted hero you can find? Iron Man thinks so and that's why he sends USAgent, the most obnoxious hero since Quicksilver. I can see why Oeming did this, because it creates conflict and drama and blah blah blah, but it makes no sense logically. Well, except if you think Iron Man is an asshole.

The only part of these issues I liked was when one of the characters (Talisman, maybe?) was holier-thant-thou about Canada have a superhero registration for years without a Civil War-type blow-out, proving once again that Canada is better than the US. Because a Canadian would SO do that. Because we are better than Americans. Totally.

Civil War: Captain America

Hey, look at that! Another over-priced Marvel trade! $19 for four issues! Fucking assholes.

I actually skipped over the two Red Menace trades, but that's okay, I'll get them eventually. The issues here are the three Civil War tie-in Captain Americas and the Winter Soldier one-shot. All solid reads that focus more on the supporting characters of that title than Cap himself, presumably since he takes centre stage in the main mini-series. No real problems here.

I also got the second D'Airain Adventure, but want to discuss both issues at once, so I'll do that soon.

abstract--Pre-Postmodern Heroes

In October I might be attending the Midwest Popular Culture Association/Midwest American Culture Association Conference in Kansas City, MO. I say "might" because my attendance is dependent on if the abstract I submitted today is approved or not.

I had originally not paid enough attention to the call for papers, and I planned on submitting the analysis of the conclusion of The Long Halloween which I posted here ages ago. However the call was for papers to be on a panel entitled "The Postmodern Comic Book Hero" and clearly my original topic would not work for that panel. so I scrambled this past weekend, came up with a new idea, and submitted it instead.

and here is the abstract I sent:

Plastic Man and the Spirit: Pre-Postmodern Heroes of the Golden Age

In the modern era of comics, the influence of postmodernism can be felt far and wide. Daniel Clowes, Charles Burns, or Kevin Huizenga spring to mind as obvious examples of indie comic artists that delve into the bizarre. More mainstream works inspired by postmodernism can easily be found in Alan Moore’s classic deconstruction of the superhero Watchmen or the metafiction of Grant Morrison’s Animal Man.

But postmodernism’s roots in comics stretch back all the way to the medium’s infancy. Even in the Golden Age as the genre of the superhero was still forming, it was already being deconstructed. Plastic Man, with his origins as a reformed criminal and his lighthearted attitude toward fighting crime, defied the conventions of the genre at the time. Meanwhile, The Spirit, a crimefighter whose “costume” consisted solely of a domino mask, seemed to refuse the categorization as a superhero not only in his appearance but in his approach towards his role as well.

Beyond the characters themselves, both comics and their creators were known for pushing the boundaries of what superhero comics could be. Eisner’s various experiments with form in the Spirit comics are well-documented, from his incorporation of the comics logo in his splash pages to his shifting the comic’s point of view from The Spirit to relatively minor characters. Jack Cole on the other hand experimented with his art style in his Plastic Man stories, coupling very realistic figure work with other characters who looked quite cartoonish.

Both Cole and Eisner then could be seen as the progenitors of postmodernism in comics. These artists paved the way for the experimentation with form prevalent in indie comics of the ‘60s and ‘70s, and their creations acted as predecessors and precursors to the eventual acceptance of postmodernism into the mainstream seen in the 1980s.

(Should the proposal be accepted, I intend to spend the summer reading Plastic Man and Spirit comics, so that I might actually know what I'm talking about come October.)

Brief details on the guest lecture

Pictures from the lecture can be found here.

Here also is a brief video of the after-lecture signing.

And I should soon be able to post a link to a place where you can download the audio from the lecture too.

The lecture went very well. We had about 65 students show up, and the students hung around after the lecture--asking questions, buying books, getting sketches--for about two hours.

And each one of them, when they would get a sketch, would run over to me and say, "Mr. Higgins! Check out the sketch I got!" I felt like a proud parent; I wanted to ruffle their hair and pat them on the head afterward.

Special Guest Lecture this Friday

This Friday I am hosting a special guest lecture on comics at Lewis and Clark Community College, the school where I teach. I will be leading a panel discussion with Cullen Bunn, the writer of Oni's The Damned, current Queen and Country artist Chris Samnee, and Pistolwhip creator Matt Kindt. The discussion will focus on the medium of comics, how it differs from other methods of storytelling both creatively and logistically and why they chose to tell their stories in this manner.

The lecture will start at 2pm and will be held in the Olin Theatre of Hatheway Hall. (For directions, you can check my school's website here.) It will last until 3pm, with some brief time for Q&A at the end and a meet-and-greet/book signing in the lobby afterwards.

The event is open to the public and completely free, so if you have any inclination to attend, please do so. You can contact me with any questions at shiggins@lc.edu.

meta-education and V for Vendetta

In my Comic Books as Lit course we're in the middle of our discussion of V for Vendetta and we just reached the prison scenes. So I had them write today about how they felt about what V did to Evey. I asked them, "Do you support his actions or decry them? Is he justified in what he does or not? Are you for or against what he did?" and then I suggested that you could call what V does brainwashing. I then had them write half a page to a page in response.

I was as careful as I could be in my wording leading into the prompt, so I could put it to them in as many ways as possible without my own bias creeping in. I didn't want them to know what I thought before they told me what they thought. I was trying to avoid leading them in a particular direction, pointing them towards a particular answer, because... doing so fits with the subject matter I was asking them about.

After they wrote we jumped into our discussion, taking a step back from the question and talking about Evey's evolution as a character, the change she undergoes in the story and how she essentially grows up before our very eyes. That idea then led us naturally to the prison scenes, which is that linchpin moment in which she goes from innocence to experience, becomes Eve not Evey.

But is that transformation worth what she had to go through to get there? Do the ends justify the means? These questions led to some very lively discussion from the class. I talked to them about it being a matter of perspective in some ways, whether or not we see the book as V's story or Evey's. If we think of Evey as the main character, then this is a horrible thing that she goes through, abominable. but if we tend to think of V as the main character, then we understand the motivations because it is something he himself went through as well.

Many of my students made just that point, that V did not create the experience himself and instead is simply demonstrating to her what both he and Evey's father had to go through. One student compared it to the Holocaust, saying, "you can hear about the Holocaust in class and not really comprehend its scope. but if you hear the story from a survivor, if you visit the site, then you can really know what it's like." In a way then, they argued, V is simply showing her the true methods of the government she lives under.

Another student said that Evey wasn't being brainwashed but rather deprogrammed. She had been brainwashed for years before by the government into thinking this was all she could get out of life, that she was happy where she was. All V did was to reveal to her the dark underbelly. A third student referred to it as an anti-venom, that the government had left her paralyzed from snake bites over the years and now she's receiving the antidote.

Finally they also raised the very valid point that Evey was, at the moment she was abducted, about to kill a man, something she surely would have been captured after doing. And after this capture, she would have been treated exactly the same way by the real Fingermen, except that they WOULD have killed her in the end. All V did is let her have the experience without paying the ultimate price for it, let her learn the lesson and live to tell the tale. All V did was save her from herself.

There were a few students who did raise the question of what gave V the right to do such a thing? One student said, "all parents tell their children not to touch a hot stove, and to a degree the children don't listen and have to learn for themselves. But what V is doing here is essentially building the stove." I then replied, "worse than that, he's grabbing her hand and making her touch it." Also, the question was raised that, by V putting Evey through the exact same things he's gone through, is he trying to free her mind so she can be an individual, or is he giving something new to follow? The words "Disciple" and "carbon-copy" came up in this point of the discussion more than once.

One student had raised the point that V asks her if she wants to pluck the rose and hand it to him, thus signifiying that he will kill the man who killed her lover Gordon. This student mentioned it as evidence of it not being brainwashing, because he gives her a choice, but I countered with the idea that maybe he wanted her to make that particular decision and manipulated her into it.

Finally it was explored that no matter what we do in life, we will be influenced by the thoughts, opinions, and actions of others. We are educated by teachers and parents alike, and the whole scene ties into Evey's parental issues, her search for a father figure. V is educating her, but he goes about it in a horrible way. And I mentioned then that, placing the story in a real world context, if we were forced to go through what Evey does, we would NOT be as supportive of what happens, but because it's a piece of fiction and because our sympathies lie with V, we look at the message and what he's trying to teach her rather than his methodology.

This brought me around to explaining why I had them write their responses first before I gave them mine, why I played devil's advocate often during the discussion, and why I tried to let them lead the discussion and argue it out back and forth. I did not want to forcefeed them a lesson and have them regurgitate it. I wanted them to really analyze it on their own and come to their own conclusions based on their own filters.

I ended saying that it's a very morally ambiguous scene and that really the whole book is morally ambiguous. V is no saint by any means, and the level to which we support him or decry his actions (also the level to which the characters in the book do the same) is a matter of personal ethics. these questions of V's methodology (terrorist or freedom fighter) and how Eve accepts or denounces them (protege or disciple) are of course especially important in the finale of the book, so I asked them to continue mulling these ideas over as they finished reading.

All in all, it was a tremendous and thought-provoking class period, one that even challenged me and what I thought, and I wanted to share it in the hopes it would do the same for you.

Friday the 13th lasts two days.

In more news on how Marvel are price-gouging assholes with regards to their Civil War trade, I was out at a bookstore today and they happened to have a copy of DC’s Infinite Crisis hardcover that cost . . . $24.99 US, which, if you’ll remember from yesterday is the exact same price of the Civil War softcover. And, if you’ll remember, both series were seven issues, so the page count should be pretty similar. Of more interest to me was the fact that the Canadian price for the Infinite Crisis hardcover was, oh, $33.50, not $40 like Civil War. Wow. Price-gouging at its finest, eh?

On with the reviews . . .

Batman #664

Am I the only one who read this issue and thought “Okay, so where’s the other half of the story?” The first bit with Bruce is useless and the second half with Batman versus Bat-Bane is much too short. I did like the idea of Bat-Bane, though.

All-Star Superman #7

Shouldn’t this issue have come out around Halloween? It could have been called “Superman V. Zombies” since that’s what it is. Bizarro zombies. My main problem with the series, that it skims along the surface and doesn’t actually give me anything remains.

Jog suggests that the series is all about Superman encountering versions of himself, which it very well be, but . . . so what? What do these versions of Superman actually say about him? Because I’m drawing a blank.

Too pseudo-smart to be very entertaining, too vapid and superficial to be enlightening.

Army@Love #1

I was looking forward to this series ever since it was announced and this is it? It’s a one-note joke! Yeah, the army recruits the war as a video game with orgies . . . and? I can’t even say it’s that entertaining. It reads like the sort of satire I would have wrote in high school. If you want something intelligent on current US politics, there’s DMZ. I’ll give this a few issues to see if it goes anywhere, but, really, I’m quite disappointed.

Deathblow #4

Holy crap, Brian Azzarello wrote in a cyborg dinosaur that tries to kill Cray. I did not see that coming. It also looks like next issue will involve Cray in a gun fight against his kids. This series is a lot more fun than I expected.

Midnighter #5-6

First up, issue five concludes the first storyarc where Midnighter was kidnapped, implanted with a bomb and told to kill Hitler. So, Midnighter returns to the present and takes revenge in typical Ennis fashion.

Then, issue six is a story involving a Japanese samurai very similar to our hero who fell in love with another swordsman who “looked like the sun.” It’s entertaining in its way.

Both stories attempt to make the same point about Midnighter, which is that he’s a killing machine and that’s all. You can’t give him a conscience about it, or make him into a pseudo-good guy or anything. He kills people, that’s all.

Isn’t Ennis off the book now? Hmm, I’ll probably pick up the next issue anyway, see what’s what.

Gødland #17

Now, there’s an issue! For the past while, I’ve felt this series hasn’t been firing on all cylinders, but something about this issue worked quite well. The US government makes its move against the Archer family, invoking the Infinity Protocols, which means sealing up the Infinity Tower where our hero Adam Archer lives. The Tormentor is back in business. The Triad is building some major cosmic machine that’s probably going to kill us all. And next issue: Crashman versus Adam Archer. Hell yes.

Now, I’ve got Bryan Talbot’s Alice in Sunderland sitting there along with a couple of books I bought today, so much reading to do.

Friday the 13th was good to me.

So, back in London for a week. Classes are over and I don’t need to be back on campus until the twenty-third, so I figured I’d come home for a little vacation. And to get comics.

Two things stood out in the whole experience today.

First, whoever decides the price for Marvel’s trades is an asshole. Saw the Civil War trade and thought I’d pick it up, but then I saw the cover price. $24.99 US and $40.00 Canadian. Insert my standard “someone needs to get those idiots a fucking currency converter!” rant. What also annoys me is the fact that it shouldn’t be $25 US either. I bought a copy of Alice in Sunderland, which looks to have more pages, bound in hardcover and not have the cushion of individual issues selling in the hundreds of thousands for only five bucks more. Seems about right.

(On a slight tangent: buying Talbot’s book is what prevented me from getting Civil War as I know the guy at my shop would have altered the Canadian price, so I would have paid maybe thirty bucks at the most. I love that guy. I mean, I paid $29.95 CANADIAN for Alice in Sunderland, which is the American price. Damn good guy that Tim.)

Second, they were sold out of every Ellis issue of Thunderbolts except for 113, which was released this week. The shitty thing? I only had 110-111, meaning no 112. I debated in the shop whether to bother with 113 and just wait for a trade, but got it anyway, who cares, I’d find 112 elsewhere.

And I did.

At the convenience store I stopped at on the way home for a slushy and some chips. They had one comic with their magazines and that was Thunderbolts #112 (three copies, I think). Take THAT, direct market!

Anyway, on to reviews . . .

Punisher War Journal #5-6

And so begins “Reign of the Captains America” . . . so far, we’ve got Hate Monger Captain America and Punisher Captain America. All we need is two more, months of them fighting with one another and then the return of the real one for Marvel to fully rip-off DC circa 1993. Although, I don’t think that’s what’s going on here, I kid because I love. I trust Fraction to do good things here. I also trust him to get rid of the whole Punisher versus SHIELD storyline soon, because, goddamn, I find it boring as hell.

Immortal Iron Fist #4

Holy fuck, Iron Fist is cool! Who saw that coming?

Civil War: The Confession

I’m actually amazed at how well Bendis pulled off the first story in this issue. For a man known for his dialogue, he writes a pretty good monologue here. But, the really interesting thing here is how the two stories work in dialogue with one another. And, there’s the obvious connection between “Was it worth it?” but there’s also everyone’s favourite topic of discussion: Iron Man is an asshole versus Iron Man isn’t an asshole.

What makes this issue work so well is that Bendis brings back Tony’s humanity in a way that hasn’t been seen since Civil War began (and probably before).

But.

But, we’ve seen stories involving him that take place after this issue that show him in the same asshole light, so I’m left wondering what the point here was. It’s written well, drawn well and all of that; in and of itself, The Confession works. However, if you place it within the context of the Marvel universe as a whole, the first story doesn’t seem to work, in my mind. The second one fits in quite nicely, but the first . . . it just doesn’t fit. It should signal a shift, of sorts, but it doesn’t.

Goddamn, I wish I wasn’t in London and my copy of American Psycho was handy, because it has a quote that sums this up. I’ll paraphrase: “In the end, this confession has meant nothing.”

(And that’s when they all groaned.)

New Avengers #28-29

I found myself loving these issues far more than I expected. The time jumps, the dialogue, the action, the art, it’s all working here. Nothing much else to say.

Thunderbolts #112-113

I’m mixed about this book. I enjoy it, but it’s also so utterly unsubtle that I can barely stand it sometimes. Norman is crazy in an over-the-top way. Moonstone is manipulative in an over-the-top way. Also, not much happened. Still, I’m very pleased that I stumbled into #112.

Fell #8

The only thing that bothered me about this issue is the tension between photograph and objective narrative viewpoint. When is what we see a photograph taken by Fell and when is it just an objective viewpoint? The framing panels obviously are the usual objective narration viewpoint, but what about that middle panel on page six that shows Fell and other cops from an overhead position?

The fact that I’m picking on something this minor says something about the quality of this issue.

newuniversal #5

And the beat goes on. I have a feeling this series could turn out to be really great once the pieces all get laid out. Right now, though, it feels too much like tedious work on Ellis’ part. It’s still entertaining, but there’s too much process about it to be completely absorbing.

More tomorrow.

Showcase Presents Superman Vol. 1 (Part 2)

Continuing the trip through Silver Age (although, is 1958-59 Silver Age?) goodness. I've read the first 176 pages. Here are some highlights:

* People from the 50th century control Superman in an effort to have him gather various artifacts from around the solar system for a time capsule that won't be opened until then. The places where he gets them from spell out SUPERMAN. Except Superman can't tell anyone that the future people did it because he's worried about seeming arrogant--except everyone thinks he was faking and is an arrogant prick anyway.

* When Jimmy imagines Superman as president, Clark Kent is his VP--and then resigns because THERE'S NO POINT IN BEING THE VP TO A PRESIDENT WHO CAN'T GET SHOT. And Superman's plan for eliminating the deficit? Sunken treasure. That's until Jimmy wakes up and Clark's all "HA! Superman's an alien and can't be president, you stupid punk!" But Clark Kent would be--"Not that he'd ever think to, though!"

* Superman had superpowers on Earth because it has lower gravity than Krypton, not the yellow sun.

* In a 3-part story, Jimmy gets an ancient token that grants three wishes every century if its jewel is rubbed under a full moon. His first wish? A Super-Girl for Superman. Take THAT, Lois Lane! Except this Super-Girl just gets in the way and exposes his secret identity. Thus, she must die. And she does. AND NO ONE CARES. Because Superman is so worried about protecting his secret identity that he proposes marriage to her as Clark Kent and she's all "PFT! Clark wouldn't propose to me if he were really Superman!"

* In the second story, the token is stolen and some criminals wish Superman's powers away and he gets Jimmy to help him fake it, including one scene where Jimmy manages to hold up Superman using a long piece of transparent plastic to make it look like he's flying in a parade. Apparently, Jimmy Olsen is one motherfucking strong dude. And they catch the crooks and Superman gets his powers back.

* The third story has Jimmy wish that Superman could meet his real parents, except he wants to surprise Supes, so he just types out the wish. Except he later discovers that there's a typo: he wrote "mate" instead of "meet." Cue the porn music. Sadly, all it means is that Ghost-Superman is sent back to before his parents were married and instead have been arrested for joining a radical political party beant on overthrowing the government. But wait! Jor-El is a secret agent but doesn't have any proof he is and the only person who knows DIED THAT MORNING! So, they get shot off into space and Superman is made real and they fight against the evil guy who ran the political group--and they've all got superpowers since they're no longer under Krypton's gravity. It looks like it will be a stalemate until Superman tricks the evil guy into accidentally making Kryptonite--since apparently, nuclear explosions are Earth science and Kryptonians don't know about that sort of thing being an advanced society in every conceivable way. And then Superman comes back home, having never mated with his parents. Damn token didn't do the job right.

* Superman gets turned into a lion by a descendent of Circe and Lois takes him to go see "Beauty and the Beast" because she's a fucking bitch.

* Superman gets wounded by a magic sword and everyone makes fun of him for being such a pussy.

* When Superman and Lois get stranded on an island that is then surrounded completely by Kryptonite particles, he shrugs and goes "Ah, what the fuck, if I'm going to be here for a few years, I may as well get me some" and asks Lois to marry him. But, right after he reveals his secret identity and sets up the marriage with the chief of the local tribe, there's an earthquake or something that gets rid of the Kryptonite, so he makes it look like Clark Kent tricked her into agreeing to marry him and then chickened out. And then Lois filled in all of the holes in THAT logic because she's so crazy over Superman, it never occurred to her that he's a lying bastard.

* Some alien crash in the ocean and plan to take over the world by killing everyone since they can only breathe under waster, so Superman stays with them, pretending to be in love with the woman alien. Everyone on the surface gets worried, so they try to capture Superman and, at one point, Superman evades capture by letting out crude oil from a sunken tanker to block their view. The moral of the story? SUPERMAN HATES SEALS.

* A "renegade scientist" (coolest job ever) escapes from the Bottle City of Whatever after Lois cracks the bottle and uses Superman's electronic plastic surgeon to make himself look like Superman. So, Lois quizzes the two Supermen on something and when one answers wrong, she shrinks him and put him in the bottle--except the real Superman is the one that answered wrong--ON PURPOSE. See, he wanted to avoid a fight, but then realises once in the bottle that he doesn't know how to get out. But, no worries because the fake Superman does everything the real Superman would do because he likes the fame and adoration of everyone--and this way, he can bang Lois. Except after they're married, Lois wants to know his secret identity finally AND HE DOESN'T KNOW! But, no worries because the real Superman has escaped and the fake one tries to escape by dressing up in regular clothes and glasses and Superman catches him right away because he looks just like Clark Kent. It ends with no one going "Hey, wait, if Superman knew that was the fake and he looked just like Clark Kent, that means--" Seriously, Lois Lane is the shittiest gal reporter ever.

* That story ends with the best panel ever.

LOIS (while ripping up her marriage license): (SIGH!) I WAS MARRIED TO SUPERMAN FOR A WHILE...BUT THE WRONG ONE! THE COURTS, OF COURSE, ANNULLED THE MARRIAGE! OH, CLARK, WILL THE RIGHT SUPERMAN EVER PROPOSE TO ME?

CLARK (with a total "you're a dumb bitch, you know that?" look on his face): ER...HOW WOULD I KNOW, LOIS?

Owned.

* Lois has a dream after she mistakenly thinks she's getting a blood transfusion from Superman where she has superpowers and instead of dreaming of team-ups and marriage with Superman, she dreams that Clark gets injured and she gives him superpowers through a blood transfusion. Clark then proceeds to be a shitty superhero and she nags him throughout for being such an idiot. See, she claims to love Superman, but this dream clearly proves she really wants to marry Clark and boss him around since she's a strong woman and doesn't really want to be subordinate to Superman. Strangely feminist story, in a way.

* Clark Kent once beat a lie detector test in college when asked if he was Superboy because it was then that he began thinking of himself as Superman. LYING BASTARD.

* The last story I read was the one where Superman can make a tiny Superman-like creature shoot out of his hands and do his bidding. Except, he then gets jealous of it until it dies saving him from Kryptonite. Grant Morrison mentioned this story once or twice in interviews for All-Star Superman as some sort of genius story. All I learned is that when criminals see miniature versions of Superman, they're so freaked out that they immediately give up. That's really weird.

To be continued . . .

Showcase Presents Superman Vol. 1 (Part One)

I just finished reading the first story in Showcase Presents Superman Volume 1 and, wow, that's some messed up shit.

The cover is to Action Comics #241 and has Superman carrying this giant key to a place called "Fort Superman"--which you know because it's written in the ground right in front of the giant door--claiming that he's the only one who can lift it, but someone has managed to break into his hang-out and he's kind of freaked out. Who can do such a thing? My first thought was that it was 100 men since that's how many men it would take to lift the key according to Supes.

The issue opens with a splash page of Superman sitting in a chair, using his heat vision to write in "MY DIARY." Apparently, Superman is a teenage girl. Like a teenage girl, he taunts any readers by being all "I'm going to do some top secret stuff, so I'm going to write it down--BUT I'M DOING IT IN THE LANGUAGE OF KRYPTON, SO TAKE THAT, MOM!" I'm mostly disturbed by the fact that he doesn't just have a diary, he has a giant diary.

The actual story begins with Clark, Lois and Jimmy out walking around and Lois sees a pearl necklace she wants and Jimmy sees a car he wants and Clark just keeps thinking "Maybe you guys will get those sooner than you think."

So, then he goes off and finds some pearls and goes to his Fortress of Solitude where he has rooms devoted to his friends complete with lifesize statues of them. Seriously, it is really fucking freaky. I'm mostly disturbed by the fact that Jimmy is posed with his hands in his pockets and winking.

In these rooms, Superman is building stuff for his friends. For Lois, that necklace. For Jimmy, that car. For Batman, a computer. BUT the catch is that they don't get any of this stuff until he dies. Wow, Superman is kind of a dick, isn't he? He can do all this, but then says they can't have any of it until he dies, which is god knows when AND it's trapped in his Fortress, which apparently only he can gain access to. What a cocktease.

He also has a room devoted to Clark Kent as well, because he wants to protect his secret identity even after he dies. The fuck?

Anyway, he does his thing and comes back the next day and inside, there's a note telling him that someone's been there and nah-nah-nah-NAH! he'll never guess who. Superman gets all worried and begins suspecting the animals he has caged up in some backroom and then starts having nightmares as more taunting notes show up. He gets so worried that passengers on a cruise ship heckle him for not carrying their damaged boat back to shore smoothly enough.

Finally, he discovers that the person who's been fucking with him is Batman, except Superman accidentally causes a cave in while carrying around some Kryptonite. Batman pops out and Superman is all "I trusted you and you've killed me, asshole!" So, Batman taunts the dying Superman by telling him step-by-step how he's been fucking with Superman.

And then Superman stands up, breaks them free because he was just faking. Take THAT, "World's Greatest Detective"!

When Superman asks why Batman was such an asshole, Batman reveals that it's because it's the anniversary of Superman arriving on Earth and Batman wanted to give him a puzzle to solve. And then they have a giant cake with candles featuring Superman and Clark Kent's heads set on fire.

What I learned from this story is that Batman and Superman NEVER liked each other, but hung out together because they felt they should. Batman is a detective, so he lords it over Superman and Superman has super-strength, which he then lords over Batman with the threat of death. They're both petty and jealous and like to fuck with each other's heads.

Oh, and there's a classic panel of Batman out shopping for a present for Superman. The guy is an insanely wealthy guy with a butler, but he still dresses up and GOES TO THE FUCKING MALL. There's a comic I want to read. "Batman Goes To The Mall." Every month, Batman goes shopping and we follow him from store to store. In the first issue, mall security hassles him. Brilliant. Put Grant Morrison on it, he loves these insanely retarded ideas from the Silver Age. But, then again, he did a lot of drugs, so we can't really blame him for thinking this stuff is good.

It's Too Late To Be Late Again

Wow, it's been nearly a week since I last posted. Know why? Nothing to say really. Nothing in comics has gotten my attention this past week. But, here's some random stuff that I'm making up as I go.

* Reread All-Star Superman #1-6 last night, which is the equivalent of the first hardcover, which is out already or coming out sometime in the next couple of months. Yeah, it still does very little for me. In an effort to possibly correct this, I am going to finally read the first Showcase Presents Superman volume that I bought last year. And then I will make fun of it.

Although, I realised last night that in issue three (I think) of ASS (that acronym makes FAR too much sense) Lois asks Superman why her--and I have to admit I was wondering the same thing. At least, this version of Lois. Maybe that's my biggest flaw with the series: none of the characters have depth. Real depth. It's too steep within the idea of myth and legend to give any of the characters anything beyond a hint of depth that really isn't there. What you see is what you get.

* I'm not the only one who's beginning to mind George Perez's art. Was talking about comics with a friend today and he was saying how he's not a fan.

* I like the idea of Matt Fraction writing the Punisher as a new Captain America, I just think the costume is butt ugly. Is that really the best they could come up with?

* Why are comics always compared to movies when the more obvious comparison is television? At least, with regards to serialised, episodic comics. Graphic novels warrant comparisions to movies, but a monthly? Look to the idiot box then, friends.

* Seriously, my little rant on an issue of Green Lantern combined with my bitching about Superman OYL is still bothering me. Why would powerless Clark Kent warrant a Green Lantern ring, but Superman not?

* Dick Hyacinth makes a very good point of at the end of this post, but I must say that I grew up reading Spider-Man books mostly during the Clone Saga and I figured it out. AND I'm still here.

* I think I just made the argument for how big a geek I really am.