Fun Fun Fun

Random fun right now:

* Mark Millar has volunteered to write the screenplay to Superman Returns for free. If you aren't cheering him on, because he gosh-darn loves Superman so effing much then you obviously have no soul.

Or, you realised that if he really wants to write the fucking thing, he can just, you know, um, do it. People volunteering to write stuff for free? You're losers. If you want to write it, write it. You give people the idea that writers don't deserve money for their hard work and you're idiots.

But, then again, I've never been impressed with people who do stuff like that. So what if you love the characters? If you love them that much, you wouldn't need the validation of Warner Bros. or Marvel or anyone, you'd just do it and not make a public spectacle of yourself. While I'm not the biggest proponent of fan fiction, at least those people just do it and shut the fuck up about it. There's where the love is. You want to write your Superman movie, just fucking do it. Hell, since you're already a professional writer, just call it a spec script--except that does imply getting paid later.

Of course, this argument seemingly ignores certain self-published works (or stuff done through Image or Dark Horse or Icon) where I know of writers who basically do the work for free, funneling all of the money for art and printing costs. But, again, most of them don't make a show of it. I'm not saying don't do stuff for free, just don't be a self-important asshat about it. Especially in a situation where there's no need for it. Why, oh why, would there ever be a need to write a big budget Hollywood movie for free? That's retarded. The only reason to make such an offer is a possibly recognitition of a lack of talent--off-setting your inability to write at the same level of people who do get paid by offering to forego any fee.

Wait, that makes sense. Smart thinking, Mark.

* I've been fighting the urge for over a month, but, last month, I received the October issue of Harper's and in its Readings section, is a list compiled by Perry Moore of homosexual superhero/villain comic characters and the horrible things that have happened to them. For example:

Apollo: gang-raped
Fauna: dead
Shout Out: thumbs ripped off

My favourite, though, is for Northstar: "killed in three different realities, recurrected as a zombie assassin." (Let's be honest, that sounds a LOT cooler than what actually happened.)

I've been resisting the urge to make a similar list, except using JUST Spider-Man and watch as listing the horrible fucking shit that's happened to him is longer than Moore's entire list.

Now, I understand the point of this list, but it ignores a big problem: horrible shit happens to people in superhero comics--especially in the last twenty years, which is the period in which the number of gay characters has risen. I'm not going to defend the way every gay character has been written as some choices have been pretty stupid, but... what are writers supposed to do with gay characters?

At this point it's always best to recognise that yes, I am a white, heterosexual male and, obviously, cannot fully appreciate what the world is like for someone who isn't. But, honestly, it seems like a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation. You aren't supposed to focus on things like a person's race or sexual orientation or gender, but you also aren't allowed to NOT focus on those things. I imagine complaints would eventually pour in if gay characters were handled with kid glovers always as well, because that's not equal treatment within the context of these stories.

It's been on my mind as I find it a fine line to walk--and something people seem very quick to jump on and make noise about. In a vast oversimplification of the issue, I've argued to friends that there are three types of people when it comes to issues of sexual preference/race/gender/etc.:

1) Those who are prejudiced.

2) Those who fight against prejudice actively.

3) Those who do their best to treat everyone equally and fight prejudice in that way.

It's been my experience that type #3 is often mistaken for type #1 by type #2 and I understand how that can happen, but it's frustrating.

* I hate eBay, except not really. I've spent the last week buying up Jim Starlin's cosmic stuff for Marvel. So far, it hasn't been too expensive, but that's only because I refuse to pay a lot for some things. But, there are people out there who actually charge over $100 for a copy of the Infinity Abyss trade. What the fuck? Do they actually expect ANYONE to pay that? And if someone IS paying that much, that person is a moron. I think I picked up the six-issue mini for $20-something including shipping. It's just so depressing to see people charging such insane prices for books--and that there are obviously some who will pay it.

* Tomorrow: a look at Morrison's run on Batman so far.

JLA V. Avengers

I miss my shop in London. I took a walk to the shop here in Windsor, hoping to get at least one of the FIVE new books I want that came out this week (being The Boys #11, The Programme #4, Captain America #31, Death of the New Gods #1 and Mighty Avengers #5). Yeah, I walked away with none of them. This is what we call a quality shop, people.

However, I did manage to drop a big chunk of change by grabbing some trades I've wanted for a while, but avoiding buying because of the damn Canadian price. But, I gave in and paid the full Canadian cover price for them--another reason why this shop sucks ass compared to the good ol' Comic Book Collector in London where prices are altered to reflect the current exchange rate. I also picked up a few comics because, ah what the hell.

Justice League of America #13-14

First off, whoever it is at DC that thinks these split covers is a good idea needs someone to smack him/her in the face. Hard. This is the cover of the copy of issue 13 I have (minus logo, etc.):



Wow, what a shitty looking cover! Half of a picture of a bunch of people standing around! GEE, THIS MAKES ME WANT TO BUY YOUR COMIC, DC, IF ONLY BECAUSE I'M DAMN CURIOUS AS TO WHAT THE OTHER HALF OF THE PICTURE IS SHOWING BECAUSE GOD FORBID YOU ACTUALLY GIVE THE READER ALL OF THE INFORMATION NECESSARY!

Oh, and the comic itself? Sucks. The Injustice League is beating on the new, shitty Justice League. I don't care, I really don't. Maybe it could be the fact that McDuffie has inherited a League full of loser heroes that don't inspire me with any confidence of winning. Of course these pathetic losers have been taken down with ease! Oh no, Geo-Force is getting beaten up! *yawn!*

The writing itself isn't good. The dialogue is unnatural and the efforts to create little "character moments" don't really do anything. Jon Stewart and Black Lightning have some banter about the latter's old afro. Yeah. Uh... moving on...

I don't know, I'm just getting sick of this shit, I really am. An army of super-villains against this loser League and I'm expected to believe that in the next issue, the JLA will win? I'm sure it will be clever as all get-out and Lex Luthor and the Joker will get away and oh ho ho, isn't it all so much fun? Except how am I supposed to buy this shit after Morrison's Injustice League stuff? No, really, how am I supposed to believe this shit after reading a more intelligent, well-written take on the idea where the JLA was a much better and powerful team, and the villains acted in a more ruthless and sophisticated manner? I can't look at Lex Luthor in his purple and green armour anymore without simultaneously having the urge to laugh and vomit at the sheer stupidity of it.

The most frustrating part of these issues is in #14 where Luthor hints at what makes him great: Superman always wins, so the only way to get him is to act outside of his comfort zone. EXCEPT ALL HE DOES IN THESE DAMN ISSUES IS ACT LIKE A TYPICAL FUCKING SUPERVILLAIN, WHICH IS EXACTLY THE SORT OF ENEMY SUPERMAN IS USED TO FIGHTING AND KICKING THE CRAP OUT OF!

Er, sorry. I... I think I've got some problems...

I picked up these issues on a whim because when McDuffie was announced writer of the book, the entire internet seemed to cream its jeans in sheer joy that after Meltzer someone of quality was taking over.

Oh, and the art is the sort of shit I'd expect to find in some Wildstorm book where they're using some horrible Jim Lee-inspired house artist.

I can see why this book is the flagship title of DC--but that's more a statement about DC right now than anything else.

New Avengers: Secrets & Lies, House of M, and New Avengers: The Collective

Well, now I have all of New Avengers in some form or another. I acually really enjoy Bendis' writing on this book, but, my god, the art--the art is horrible. Maybe it's me. Am I just out of step with what everyone else considers to be quality art? Are David Finch, Olivier Coipel, Steve McNiven and Mike Deodato really that good and I'm just not seeing it? Oh, I liked Frank Cho's two issues that were in there somewhere, but the rest... it must be me. That's the only explanation.

Anyway...

These volumes were pretty decent. We get the introduction of Ronin and the whole "what side is Spider-Woman on?" thing that hasn't actually gone anywhere really, but let's assume Bendis will do more with that in "Secret Invasion" and her ongoing title. House of M was entertaining, but... I don't know, it just seemed like it skimmed along the surface of the story--the same way Civil War did. Like there was SO much that had to be fit in that we just get the highlights.

The Collective was an interesting story just for the dynamics between the Avengers and SHIELD. At one point, Spider-Man is knocked unconscious and then his brain is picked for details about "House of M" by telepaths. And there are no consequences. What happened to the days where doing that would at least warrant a punch in the face?

Mostly what these volumes reminded me of was the "something is wrong with SHIELD" plot, which, again, I'm assuming is coming back in "Secret Invasion," but, Christ, what a slow as fuck storyline. Shouldn't there be some mention of it now that Stark is in charge of SHIELD? But, yes, let's assume that the evil entities fucking shit up are Skrulls. Whoopie.

The weirder thing is looking at these issues in the light that they lead directly into Civil War and the fact that the division of the heroes into those two factions makes less and less sense. At least, the huge fucking brawls between them do. I've always had a problem with the immediate jump from best friends to kicking the crap out of each other over politics--and reading these issues where you have these characters all working together, it makes less and less logical sense. But, that is a problem when you work so hard to create more mature, complex and intelligent characters and then try to push them forward in a similarly mature, complex and intelligent manner--but do so with old superhero comic cliches and plot points that don't quite mesh with the current reality of the comic book world.

But, hey, that's me. The whole "immediately beat the shit out of each other instead of having a conversation" just seems a little juvenile and, well, stupid to me by this point. And that's mostly because of the last decade of writing or so. Strange that. I'll have to think about this some more.

Tick tick tick tick tick tick tick BOOM

And to finish things off...

The Programme #3

This is one of those series that will require a full reading before a complete judgement is passed. Things are progressing and it seems like it could be interesting with old Soviet supersoldiers fighting old American supersoldiers. I trust Milligan.

Casanova #9

My roommate Adam doesn't like Casanova. All those in favour of me smothering him in his sleep? Kidding.

I love the bright blue colour of this album. My only complaint about this issue is that I didn't realise it was Ruby with Kaito right away. I wasn't actually 100% sure until Fraction's back matter commentary. Everything else? Awesome. One of my favourite books.

Criminal #9

And so things are set up before issue 10's finale of "Lawless." Tracy does some interesting things here and I'm wondering where it will go. Particularly his confrontation of Simon at the end. We'll have to see. No doubt the end will be well done.

Black Summer #2-3

Okay, so here's Ellis' sequel to The Authority. Hell, it explores one of the major plot points for that book after Ellis left: superhumans executing the president. In this case, John Horus doesn't take over the country, but still, the similarities are there. These superhumans aren't the Authority, though.

I'm slightly thrown off by the fact that we've barely spent any time with Horus. The majority of the series has focused on the other members of the Seven Guns. I do love how they say they won't kill soldiers and then kill soldiers when attacked. Lovely.

I'm really enjoying this book.

Doktor Sleepless #2

But, on the other side of things, we have Ellis' sequel to Transmetropolitan. Is it fair to compare a writer's current work to his or her past work? I don't care, because I do it anyway. Where Black Summer seems like a natural follow-up to The Authority and ably does the job, Doktor Sleepless isn't doing it for me. Where Transmet began a compressed, dense, information-heavy book, Sleepless kind of meanders. Like the Shriky Girls bit in this issue: that would have been a couple of panels, maybe a page AT MOST in Transmet, but here it's three, four, maybe five pages depending on how you count the pages that discuss it.

Now, of course, Transmet and Sleepless are two entirely different books about crazy guys who come down from the mountain and have female assistants and rant a lot--but, oh wait. Oh ho ho.

In all seriousness, I recognise that Transmet was more focused, with more purpose and a much narrower message. It was ultimately a book about the truth. Spider Jerusalem became a cartoon over time, but not on purpose. Sleepless begins a cartoon with no clear purpose beyond a vague idea of changing things. And maybe that's what I miss. I have no idea what this book is about--what it's really about beyond some vague words about how we all live in the future and need to take advantage of that. Fantastic, sign me up.

But, I trust Ellis. This is his newest longform sci-fi series, I trust the guy to deliver some goods. I guess it's unfair of me to lament that Sleepless isn't Transmet. Is it?

Alias and Alias: Coming Home

Got the first two trades of Alias for 35% off... the American price because my shop actually honours the exchange rate. Actually, if I got 35% off the Canadian price, I would have been paying the American cover price basically. Fuck you, Marvel. Assholes.

My only experience with Jessica Jones is in New Avengers, so it's interesting to see where she began. Some interesting stories. No idea what she did to fuck things up with the Avengers, but these stories do turn the old idea that everyone who was ever an Avenger could just show up at the door and they'd all drop whatever they were doing to fix things.

...and did Bendis suggest that the Juggernaut fucks dead bodies? Awesome.

I'll be picking up the final two trades of the series, plus whatever collections exist of The Pulse. Good stuff. Didn't blow my mind the way it seems to have others, but that's okay, my mind isn't blown easily.

Hellblazer: The Gift

Aside from the two issues between Ellis and Azzarello's run on the books, I pretty much own a hundred straight issues of Hellblazer in trade, running from Ennis' Son of Man through Ellis, Azzarello, Carey and ending with Mina's Red Right Hand. Weird.

Anyway...

The Gift finishes off Mike Carey's run on the book with some odd choices. Like killing off the demon bitch who bore Constantine's three evil kids--plus the kids (except for the daughter?). Those characters were some of the more original things about Carey's run, which actually left me pretty cold until issue 200 where Constantine lived out three lives, spawning those three kids. That was some cold shit and Carey took it off the table. Goddamn.

He did fuck up John's life some more, though--which I could see in Mina's run, but wasn't spoiled too much there, thankfully. I love how Carey ends the run with John pissing off a bunch of magicians and facing the fact that he's a douchebag--again. It is a little tiresome to see him do that over and over again. And Carey seems to do that a few times over the course of his run. One of the positives is that each time, he is able to make the reader believe that this new low IS lower than the last. It's probably good he got off the stage after killing John's sister and alienating Chas--where else could he go?

I see that DC has solicited the first collection from Andy Diggle's run and I'm looking forward to that. In the meantime, I should begin buying up the Ennis and Delano trades. Hopefully, between current trades, DC will begin collecting the other stuff that remains in singles only. Even if it doesn't sell the best, Hellblazer is Vertigo's Superman and Batman lines rolled into one book--and it deserves a nice, fat library that is complete.

And that does it for everything I bought while in London. Oh, except for a copy of Tekkonkinkreet: Black & White, which I'll read sometime this week. I've heard good things and a blurb by Fraction was what put it over when I was in the bookstore. That, and the cover price was the same as Secret War, except the page count was MUCH higher. Again, fuck you, Marvel. (I will never let that go, I think.)

Baby, won't you keep me happy

Continuing...

Deathblow #7

Okay, I love the cybernetic dinosaur that Azzarello writes here. I still have no fucking idea what's going on in this book really (well, there are various sides and they all want Deathblow to do something for them it seems, but who is who and what is what is still unclear), but any comic that has a horribly evil cybernetic dinosaur is alright in my book. The art is still shit.

The Order #2-3

This book is the natural successor to Milligan & Allred's X-Force/X-Statix, but with a more straight-laced, mainstream sensibility. And it works. Some fun superhero stuff, lots of melodrama, and so on. It does suffer from the fact that the cast is large and I don't really have any idea who these people are. The technique of having a different character talk to the camera each issue works, but even then, you don't necessarily get a good sense of who these people are. In the second issue, I couldn't quite connect the Becky talking to us with the Becky fighting the bad guys. Granted, people act different in different situations, but, somehow, it didn't work. The third issue was much better for that, though. I'm interested in seeing where this goes and whether Fraction has anything new to say or not. So far, it could go either way.

New Avengers #34-35

About damn time Bendis moved on past the whole "who can we trust?" bullshit. It made sense, in a way, for a bit, but doing it beyond a few issues wouldn't make much sense. The cover to ssue 34 had me excited with the alternate team, but that stuff only shows up for a page. I love me some alternate realities. One major problem with these issues is that the whole Venom virus story seems to rely on Mighty Avengers, which still has two issues of the first arc to go before we'll see any of that story.

The other plot involving the Hood and his little supervillain mafia is interesting in that it provides a natural fallout of Civil War. I've read complaints about the characterisation of the Hood, but since this is my first encounter with the character, I can't really comment on that. It works for me.

Another thing I saw mentioned online was the portrayal of Tigra in issue 35 and the manner in which she is dealt with. And, you know, it is pretty fucking harsh. I'm not sure if it crosses a line necessarily--especially as the point of the scene is to demonstrate the power of the Hood and the weakness of heroes. However, I am interested in why Bendis picked Tigra and not some other hero for that scene. And, um, why were the cops assholes to her earlier? She's a registered hero.

I also noticed in issue 34 that characters had little captions saying their names. Perhaps recognising that Yu's art is so stylised that you can't always recognise who is who.

Immortal Iron Fist Annual #1

Um, what was the point of this issue? I know, I know, some back story on Orson Randall, but beyond that--why these stories? I'm assuming what we're told here will have specific meaning in future issues, but I kind of walked away from this book wondering why I should care. It's an alright issue and I think part of my reason for not digging it quite as much is that it's Iron Fist stuff, but with no Aja on art. The random tales nature does fit what an annual SHOULD be, though. I dunno, I just prefer the actual series. While I like the idea of past Iron Fists, getting anything more than a few pages here and there that relate directly to the main story leaves me cold.

Punisher War Journal #11-12

I found it weird to see Leandro Fernadez on art in issue 11 as he's done several issues of Ennis' MAX series. Having an artist from that series here just increases the tension between the books, a tension that doesn't make War Journal look good. This isn't a bad book by any stretch of the imagination, it's just one I can't take seriously in ANY way, because it's so fucking retarded when compared to Ennis' book. Thankfully, with these two issues, Fraction seems to be getting that and isn't trying to be serious with his portrayal of Castle. By giving up his Captain America costume and the mask he took, Castle moves into the World War Hulk crossover issue where he's a cartoony superhero character that looks out for the average person. The Captain America stuff was a bit too heavy for the book, although it was cartoony--just in a serious way. Does any of this make sense? I hope the book maintains a very light tone and never tries to take itself seriously, because it doesn't work.

Question: how does Jigsaw at the end of issue 11 fit in with the Jigsaw in New Avengers?

Batman #669 and annual #26

I think I need to reread the three-part mystery story before I can comment for sure. But, did Batman kill someone here?

The annual was kind of blah. But, it acts a nice prologue to the upcoming Ra's Al Ghul crossover, which I will be buying. The first crossover like this I'll have gotten in a long time. Although, I may end up doing the same for that Secret Invasion storyline at Marvel in 2008. Weird.

Make the beats go harder

Wow, I have read a shitload of comics this past week. Last week, an eBay order containing all seven volumes of The Invisibles arrived, which I devoured over Tuesday through Thursday. I have no idea what I could possibly say about that work that hasn't already been said. I'll do some reading this week, think on it and see if anything comes up.

This weekend was spent visiting home in London, which meant a trip to the shop on Friday. Walked away with 20-someodd singles and a trio of trades. So, let's begin with some of the comics:

Midnighter #12

Um, wow, way to take an interesting storyline and waste an issue on boring boringness. Instead of more on Midnighter's spooky hometown, he fights something and there's a lot of posturing about how metahumans are bad. They really have nothing new to say with these characters, do they? They get the Authority to take over America, realise "Oh no, we have no idea how to make this work" and immediately dismantle that. They do a relaunch of titles and nothing exciting happens. Like Ennis' issues, Giffen's aren't bad per se, they're just not anything amazing. Goddamn, Wildstorm is just a reminder of all that wasted potential, isn't it?

JLA/Hitman #2

Ennis sure can write superheroes when he wants to. In the concluding half of this crossover series, Tommy solves the problem and saves the JLA--with methods they don't condone. What I find most interesting is how Clark Kent explains what happened and that you can tell he really struggles with judging Tommy simply because he was a killer. He recognises that maybe there's more to people than looking at them in such superficial ways. And, yes, judging Tommy here simply based on the fact that he is willing to kill is superficial. The JLA was powerless, Batman was taken over by an alien and all that stood between them and getting nuked were Tommy's guns. He did what he had to and while Batman and the others may be quick to judge, Superman can't do that, because he knows that Tommy had to make the tough call--and while others would have acted differently, it was just Tommy there. A very mature and nuanced portrayal of Superman--which is weird, because the rest of the JLA is pretty flat (except for maybe Green Lantern).

Infinity Inc. #2

As I said with the first issue, I wish Milligan were given the freedom to run with the interesting idea of the book (namely, the psychological damage done to these people who were famous superheroes one day and powerless nobodies the next) without forcing in this utterly boring supervillain plot. Fucking genre conventions can be a pain sometimes. I'm still waiting for someone to point out how Steel was given powers by Luthor like them, but is the same as he always was, basically--especially as it's suggested that maybe the Everyman process itself fucked up their heads. But, then again, maybe he isn't fine. Who knows.

Wolverine #56, 58

I read a lot of good stuff about Wolverine #56, a self-contained issue written by Jason Aaron with art by Howard Chaykin that focuses on a man whose job it is to shoot a guy trapped in a pit. Turns out the guy is Logan, who then turns it all around on the guy and we see just how sad and pathetic his life is. It's a solid issue.

Issue 58, on the other hand, is pretty damn shitty. Marc Guggenheim pretty much fucks up Wolverine's healing factor with some bullshit about him not dying because while his body heals, his soul goes off and fights the angel of death--and wins everytime except for this one, which is why Wolverine is braindead. Um. Yeah. What really fucks it up is how half the issue is Dr. Strange messing with Tony Stark--and then the other half is Strange just telling us all of this information. It comes off forced and breaks the whole "show, don't tell" rule. Big time. Wow. Bad, bad comic.

Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Man #24

What the fuck happened in this issue? I know nothing actually happened, but is it just me or was that nothing really fucking confusing? What the fuck?

Omega the Unknown #1

When this came out a couple of weeks back, I think nearly every blog I read had a review or two of it up. And all of them said basically the same thing: cool art, quirky writing, where will it go?, let's wait and see, etc., etc., etc. I have nothing new to add to my fellow bloggers' opinons.

Tomorrow: more comics. Yay.

I'm all about the pink (Or, damn you, you blew it up! You maniacs! I don't know this quote fully!)

I can't remember when it was, but a while back, Timothy Callahan made some mention of a two-issue Marvel mini and wondered what other ones there were, thinking the series in question (which I also can't remember--way to research posts, Chad!) was a fluke. I added another to the list, Wolverine/Doop, a two-issue mini by Peter Milligan and Darwyn Cooke published as filler (sort of) between issues of X-Statix (I think). And at a time when X-Statix was in the decline as far as sales and general buzz went--it had become old news, that always wacky, often good, indie-cred mainstream book that always dies eventually (watch out, Iron Fist!). But, mentioning the book there made me want to reread it since I got the two issues sometime ago on a trip to the shop that involved little new comics of interest, which meant browsing in an effort to make my journey downtown worth it. I settled on these two issues since I always dug X-Force/X-Statix. My memory of the series then is vague. I think I enjoyed it, but who knows.

Last week, I reread it and, man, it's kind of weird.

The story is very simple: there's this thing called the pink mink, which is basically a mink wrap that's pink. When exposed to oxygen, it apparently causes a pink lady to appear, but only to mutants and even then, probably only crazy disease-ridden mutants. Oh, and it's been stolen. Wolverine is going to get it back and he kind of does, but not really, because he sees the pink lady and Doop thinks he's infected with Code-X and he thinks Doop is infected with Code-X and people are turning pink and zombie-like and showing mutant developments despite being adults and OH MY GOD MARVEL ACTUALLY PUBLISHED THIS! Which I say with affection, but it's a damn fun and wacky comic.

At the end of the first issue, both Wolverine and Doop pretend to be infected with Code-X (which means they're crazy or something) in an effort to see if that makes the OTHER one follow along, proving he's actually the one infected--and then, if so, kill the motherfucker. The issue ends with both of them ready to gut the other one.

The second issue involves the two of them making up MORE things--except those things turn out to be true as coincidences happen more frequently when the pink mink is involved. The secret government agent lady hires a professional hunter to capture the pink mink--and Wolverine and Doop. This guy has killed unicorns and shit and likes to skin stuff. He's evil. And the pink people all go to Toronto--which I wonder was Milligan's idea or Cooke's.

In the end, they kill the crazy hunter, get the pink mink back, learn the pink lady is indeed real and everything is great. Until it looks like both Wolverine and Doop want to have sex with the pink lady--but oh wait, Doop actually wants to fuck the pink mink. And once he does, the mink reproduces asexually, so the pink lady can continue to exist and the government can get its mink back.

What the fuck? Marvel published this. What happened to Marvel?

One of the more interesting ideas thrown out in the book and not really picked up since is the idea of people with low level x-genes that are activated by particularly stressful situations, which is what the pink people are. There's a nice exchange where the Orphan explains it to a cop who is freaked out that his partner is now a mutant when he was normal up until then. Of course, this could only produce MORE mutants, so damn the possibilities for stories, NO MORE MUTANTS!

But, this book almost seems like the last hurrah of the initial stage of the Quesada Era where things were new and exciting and original and damn the torpedos, ramming speed! Was this book what did it? Does the summer of 2003 sound like when it changed and became more like a retread of the '90s for a while? Was pink new-mutants all flocking to Toronto what made Quesada go "Wait--we've gone too far--my god what have I done?" Or was it Trouble, which is advertised in the second issue? But still...

DOOP HAD SEX WITH A PINK MINK WRAP!

What the fuck?

I actually don't have much to say about this book beyond suggesting you pick it up and see one of the weirder things published in the past four or five years. And wonder what happened.

Sleven (Or, Fuck You, Marvel)

Today, my roommate and I went to 7-11. He had to get some stuff, I wanted to get a slushy and some chips. While he was filling out his Proline ticket, I looked at the magazines, specifically the comics. I sometimes look in case there's something there the local shop didn't have on my last visit and this time there was: Thor #3. So, I grabbed it and was kind of happy that I would be taking a comic home because getting a random comic is always nice. Makes me feel like a kid again, like I had saved up my change and had just enough money for one comic and had to choose which one I would be getting--except without the limited money or the tough choice.

I'm paying for my stuff and the manager looks at the comic and says, "You're actually buying that?" Not out of digust, but surprise. Not out of surprise that a 24-year old man is buying a comic, but that anyone is actually buying a comic at 7-11. She then went on to say that she'd been considering getting rid of the comics altogether, because most people go to comic stores for their comics. I agreed, because, well, it's true. In the year and a month I've been in Windsor, I've gotten maybe four comics from that 7-11. Most likely a record.

And when I got home, I realised why no one buys comics at 7-11: the cover price. The first two issues of Thor cost $2.99/$3.75 (American/Canadian) and were purchased from a comic shop. This issue? $3.99/$5.75.

FIVE DOLLARS AND SEVENTY-FIVE FUCKING CENTS!

Fuck you, Marvel. There's no nice way to put that. It's just fuck you. I paid almost six dollars for this issue of Thor. Two dollars more than I would at a comic shop. Why is it TWO dollars more, by the way? The American price is a dollar more, but the Canadian is two? Fuck you, Marvel.

That's why kids don't read comics. Or, it's a reason why. I don't usually get all "comics were cheaper when I was a kid," but SIX FUCKING DOLLARS FOR AN ISSUE OF THOR!

Fuck you, Marvel, you fucking price-gouging assholes.

(Really, I would be more intelligent about my argument here, but it's six bucks for a comic. At a 7-11. A regular comic. Nothing special about this one. Goddamn.)

As for the actual issue, I enjoyed it. Not six dollars enjoyed it, though. Not even close. I mean, how could I?

Giant-Sized X-Statix Versus Owen Wilson #1

Now, I'm sure all of you have had dreams that involves comics. They could be dreams about interacting with characters or involving comics themselves or maybe even creators (although, that one is a bit weirder). Last night, I had a weird dream about shopping for comics that I will share only because I feel like it.

I don't remember the narrative of the dream, just that I was buying comics at my shop in London. There are only four comics I remember:

Authority #3. Yes, in my dream, the fabled third issue of Morrison and Ha's run came out. That seems the most likely place for it to happen.

An unknown issue of Midnighter that was part whatever of some storyline that had "fag" or "queer" or something in the title. My subconscious mocks writers for making an aspect of the character the central characteristic of the character.

Issue four of a Captain America mini-series with art by Ashley Wood. It involved a non-Steve Rogers Captain America captured by some bad people. And the art was fantastic.

But, the oddest book was some weird X-Men trade paperback that collected various stories. It was a misprint or non-continuity thing, because it was actually sold in a bag with a note from my retailer that touted it as fucked up. One story had an editor's note to explain an event that apparently happened in a book titled "Giant-Sized X-Statix Versus Owen Wilson #1". I believe, even in my dream, I said "What the fuck? That's awesome!" And it would be awesome. I want that comic.

For some reason, though, the trade cost $129.99 Canadian. My retailer was selling it for thirty bucks, but the cover price was insane. Probably because of Marvel's inability to price their products well in Canada.

So, what we learned:

1. Authority #3 should come out, but probably never will except in our dreams.

2. Yes, Midnighter is gay, but he's more than that.

3. Ashley Wood should draw a Captain America story.

4. "Giant-Sized X-Statix Versus Owen Wilson #1" is the greatest comic idea ever.

5. Marvel price-gouges Canadians.

My subconscious is wise.

52 Problems, Etc. (Volume Three)

So, 52 volume three.

Week 28 has two pages of brilliance in space. One page is a splash of Lobo towing the ship containing his dolphin buddy, Animal Man, Adam Strange and Starfire. The following is six panels that barely make any sense, cutting in and out of the scene with no rhyme or reason. But, it follows along with the concept of the real time storytelling moreso than any other bit in the entire series. It's week 28, days two and four and we check in on the space story for a bit to see them fleeing a giant one-eyed green head and Animal Man ranting about how the situation sucks.

Still don't care about Montoya or the Question.

Booster Gold as Supernova doesn't make sense, mostly because it involves time travel, which while a reasonable possibility does preclude many of the so-called clues dropped. The fact that the solution is revealed along with the method of pulling it off and it doesn't cause me to go "Oh, now I see!" means it was handled poorly and is not a good mystery. Ideally, seeing how it was done should have made it all Make Sense. It didn't. And I knew already that Booster Gold was Supernova. And still didn't see anything that pointed to that.

Wow, Lady Styx sure was a giant threat--what with being killed quickly in week 36. Although, the Captain Comet bit was also another lovely moment.

In week 32, it seems that Ralph has decided to kill himself. In week 33, he gets a gun. He is not seen again until week 39 where he's getting something in Atlantis. Not sure how much logical sense this timeframe makes. Probably the thing that annoys me personally the most about this series. The number of stories combined with the limited amount of space makes the passage of time very problematic. Especially when you take into account how time passes in regular comics. Regular comics operate in a very compressed sort of time where numerous events take place in very short periods of time, while in this series, very little takes place over longer periods of time. Perhaps a weekly realtime book involving more than two or three plots can't work. Hell, maybe it should focus on one single plot to work properly.

The Black Adam family bores me. So utterly typical. The rise and fall. It would have been much more creative to sustain these characters and push forward.

The mad scientists bore me as well when they're not all mad and doing crazy shit. The serious elements of that plot don't work for me. The Egg-Fu stuff was fantastic, though.

Clark Kent was kidnapped and interrogated for a page? What the fuck? That was a moment where I literally said "What's going on now?" Especially because the artist had neither the skill nor the inclination to make Lex Luthor look like Lex Luthor. Instead, we're treated to generic bald guy who looks kind of Asian.

Lex Luthor is a condemnation of the general public and the fact that we continue to trust people we know for a fact to be evil, corrupt and utterly devoted to their own goals at the expense of everyone else.

That said, Luthor gaining superpowers? Lame. But, as I've often said, I prefer for him to operate on an entirely different level than that of the average supervillain. He's the guy who pushes a button and kills hundreds only to go "Oh no! Something went wrong! Why god why?" Luthor does not get his hands dirty with fisticuffs. How utterly common.

For some reason, I love any comic that has young people telling the founding members of the JSA to fuck off to the old folk's home. I just can't get behind the idea of geriatrics fighting crime. Nor am I a fan of teenagers or kids doing the same. Stories about either seems like an absurdist comedy where lurking beyond the next panel is a broken hip or some horrible mistake from a lack of experience (or memory). Oh, I'm such an ageist.

...they stole Animal Man's jacket! Fuckers.

Oh, and Batwoman is a lesbian, but Dick Grayson doesn't know that. I smell a crazy mix-up coming up!

All in all, this was a lacklustre collection of lacklustre comics with the odd shining moment. There were, like, four. Maybe five.

In November, I'll get volume four and we can see how the entire saga works as a whole.

The State of Things

On Friday, my roommate Adam and I walked downtown to buy comics. I bought a bunch, while Adam bought three. As we walked from the store to Bubble Tea to sit and read our purchases, he lamented the state of comics these days. At one point, he asked if I was a saddened by the state of things since I'm more tuned into what's going on.

And, yeah, at times I am. But, I also think it was a matter of the shop we were at since its selection is rather paltry and limited. I do wonder if there's something wrong with comics (and by comics, he was talking about the more "mainstream" stuff--although, he is strangely anti-DC, so...).

Is there something wrong? Well, let's look at what I bought and see.

The Immortal Iron Fist #9

One of my favourite monthly books, in this issue, Danny Rand gets his ass whooped. Oops. The writing an art are both top-notch. As well, in opposition to most other comics, all you need to understand what's going on is this book.

For some reason, Adam didn't dig this as much as I did. Maybe there's something wrong with him?

Captain America #30

Things progress in the post-Cap storyline and nothing earthshattering happens, but this issue doesn't exactly read like filler either. Strangely subtle in that way. We're so trained to think of issues as either taking monumental steps forward or simply acting as padding for a storyarc, when this issue is neither.

Adam liked this, but wondered about Iron Man's armour being all liquidy and shit.

Batman #668

Yes, somehow, after this issue came out, I visited the shop and they didn't have any copies. Now, I visit on the week #669 comes out and they do--just no copies of 669.

The murder mystery continues. Williams' art is still amazing. I love the character bits between Robin and Squire. Jog apparently discusses issue 669 (and maybe the whole arc) in detail, but since I haven't read 669, I've saved the link. I'll talk about this in more detail when I've read the final part.

Adam didn't like this.

Starlord #3

Wow, this series has been disappointing. Some nice character moments, but the story bores me. Actually, many of the characters bore me. In this issue, one of the characters comes back to life (which is a cool moment) and things go to shit. Even more so. I have no idea what's going on elsewhere in this crossover, but where the first Annihilation story's mini-series seemed to tell solid stories alone, this one just isn't doing it for me. Which I find odd since normally Keith Giffen's writing wows me. The art on this book is very well done. I'll pick up the final issue, because I want to see how it turns out (or, semi-concludes so it can lead into the rest of the crossover).

The Boys #10

That's not quite how I expected the story to end. I can't actually see the point of this arc beyond namecalling and giving Hughie some great moments. I hope future stories expand on the other members of the group a bit. So far, it's been 10 issues of Butcher and Hughie mostly.

JLA/Hitman #1

I never read Hitman, but figured I'd check this two-parter out since I do love Ennis' work. It's a nice little story with some nice little character moments, going back to Morrison's JLA line-up. My only beef with the characters is that Wally West is a fucking asshole here. Whenever he opened his mouth, it wasn't the usual friendly bashing of Kyle that I remember but him just being a giant jackass. Wow.

Overall, not a bad bunch of books. Adam picked up an issue of Fell, the first issue of Ennis' Streets of Glory (or whatever it's called) and an issue of Fables that he couldn't finish because it sucked so much--and then left at Bubble Tea.

Tomorrow, I'll post on the third volume of 52, which I also bought.

52 Problems, Etc. (Volume Lance)

Wrote this earlier today for the school paper, the University of Windsor Lance. Very cursory, but it hits the main points.

52 Vols. 1-3
By: Geoff Johns, Grant Morrison, Greg Rucka, Mark Waid, Keith Giffen and various artists
DC Comics
302 pgs., $23.99 (each)

Last year, the comics published by DC all jumped ahead one year in their stories and to fill in that missing year, the publisher put out a weekly comic told in real time. Weekly comics are not new ideas, but by telling the story in real time as well as tapping four of the industry’s top writers, 52 managed to capture the audience for the entire year. Now, the year-long saga has been collected in four trade paperbacks (volume four available in November) for easy-reading.

The tagline for 52 was that it was a year without Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman as all three recovered from the most recent intercompany crossover event, Infinite Crisis. This means that 52 focuses on a cast of lesser known, often looked down upon characters with varying results.

In one story, the time-travelling Booster Gold is a superhero only so he can get corporate sponsorship and his costume is plastered with company logos. In another, Lex Luthor has found a way to give the average person superpowers and the hero Steel has to figure out what he’s up to before it’s too late. In the most poignant story, the anti-hero Black Adam goes through a startling transformation as he builds a family, turning his back on his former hard-line stances.

However, while these stories are among the better ones, there are also clunkers like the plot involving former police detective Renee Montoya and the faceless vigilante The Question as they track the plans of Intergang, which is, well, an international gang. A lot of space is given to this story, but it’s highly repetitive and lacks an interesting hook.

Beyond those plotlines, there are easily another half-dozen touched on in these three volumes, so these books could be overwhelming for someone who isn’t familiar with DC’s cast of characters. If there is a fatal flaw in 52, it’s that extensive knowledge of the DC universe is a necessity, but that is offset by the fact that the series is aimed at hardcore fans.

The use of real time is interesting, but sometimes hurts more than it helps. Plots are often dropped for several weeks and then pick up as if no time has passed in between. Having so many balls in the air and limited space means that only a few stories can be touched on per chapter, but leaving some stories alone for nearly two months is sloppy.

As well, specific fans of the writers involved may be disappointed as the method of writing comes off as more written-by-committee--and necessarily so to maintain a coherent tone. There are flashes of individual style, but not many. The overall style used, though, is not bad, but may disappoint some who see a name like Grant Morrison on the cover and then fail to see his trademark style.

The art on 52 is provided by various artists as keeping up with a weekly deadline is beyond most, but, to provide a consistent tone, artist Keith Giffen provides layouts for all of the art. The style of art may change, but since Giffen provides a guide for panel placement and the composition of the drawings, the general tone and look remain remarkably steady.

52 may not be the best book for someone not familiar with the various intricacies of the DC universe, but the year-long weekly book was an interesting experiment in storytelling and these collections are worth it just to see the various tricks and techniques used to pull it off. As well, the collections come with creator commentary for each chapter and other bonuses, providing a great look into what it took to make this book work.

***

I'll do a post on volume three this week along with stuff on the comics I bought on Friday.

The Greatest Comics You've Never Read 002: Marvel Two-in-One Annual #7

Sorry about not posting this yesterday. Real life interferred a bit, but things are fine now. To make it up to you all, I've actually scanned stuff this time.



Today's comic, Marvel Two-in-One annual #7 came out before I was born, but my dad had a copy of it and I must have read it dozens of time. Actually, I flipped through it many, many more times than I read it. Marvel Two-in-One was basically the same as Marvel Team-Up, but starred the Thing instead of Spider-Man. It's also the opposite of Team-Up as that title existed so Spider-Man could star in yet another book, while Two-in-One seemed to exist because, well, the Thing couldn't bring in a large enough audience by himself. I could be wrong there, but that's the impression I always got.

Now, the appeal of this issue (as the cover above indicates) is that the Thing doesn't share the book with one hero--no, he shares it with all of the other powerhouses of the Marvel universe (Doc Samson also shows up inside, but didn't make the cover). The plot is very simple: an alien boxing promoter shows up, kidnaps the eight most powerful heroes in the MU and has them train to fight the Champion, an intergalactic boxer who goes around challenging the strongest fighters on various worlds to boxing matches--just for the sheer thrill of it. So, they all train and then they fight.



One of my favourite parts of the issue is the various little alien trainers the heroes each get:



I used to spend so much time just studying those little guys and matching them up with the heroes. I was an easily amused child, apparently.

Now, the training was fun as a couple of heroes are eliminated. Namor refuses to train and fight, because he's a pussy, so they kick him to the curb. Doc Samson is so bad at fighting that his exercise machine beats him up and his alien trainer deems him too incompetent to actually fight.

Thor acts like a jerk and uses his hammer, while the others all train following the rules--even the Hulk. Of course, in a line-up of Marvel's biggest and brightest, it's interesting that because it's Two-in-One, the Thing is automatically seen as the best of the bunch:



Now, is this simply because it's his book or because the people of the Marvel universe trust him the most? Look at the other heroes: Colossus is a mutant; Sasquatch is Canadian; Wonder Man is an actor; Thor is a viking; the Hulk is a monster; Doc Samson is a therapist; and Namor is an invading asshole. While you may argue over who is the strongest of the bunch, there's no doubt that Earth would look to the Thing as the best bet as he is a member of the Fantastic Four and best friend of Mr. Fantastic. While he may look like a giant rock-guy, he's proven himself not only a hero, but also an average guy. This guy was a fucking astronaut basically. In fact, this issue has a strange subtext that suggests that the Thing should be an American hero and celebrated as such. By this point in his life, no one would see him as a monster, they would just see a guy just like them who suffered a terrible accident and now does what he can to do the right thing.

The fights take place in Madison Square Garden in a ring surrounded by some sort of alien forcefield.

The first hero: Thor. He's disqualified for using his hammer, which he would put down, but if he's separated from it for more than a minute, he'll revert to Donald Blake. But, he just looks like an asshole.

The second hero: the Hulk. And, he, uh . . .



The third hero: Sasquatch. He tries his best, but is knocked out quickly.

The fourth hero: Colossus. He also tries his best, but is beaten so badly the ref stops the fight.

The fifth hero: Wonder Man. He tries to fight, but gets his ass whooped, so he freaks out and tears up the ring. He's one of the Avengers now, you know.

That just leaves . . .



And he does is best. Up until this point, no one has EVER lasted a single round--on any world. The Thing last three complete rounds. He gives it as good as he gets and the only reason the fight doesn't continue is because the ref is concerned for his safety. The Thing, though, just won't quit . . .



The Champion then admits that he could never truly defeat the Thing as his spirit and will can never be crushed. He leaves, praising the Thing's courage and then the Thing falls over. The final panel is all of the heroes (not just the fighters) in in the ring, embracing him as the sold-out crowd goes nuts.

Okay, so maybe it rips off Rocky a bit, but it's still a great read. It's also the issue that made me love the Thing, because this sums him up: he may never be stronger than the Hulk or Thor, but he'll fight them with everything he's got and never give up. The Thing's real strength lies inside with his determination and motherfucking grit.

No idea what comic I'll do next or when I'll do it. A lot of the books I want to discuss are back at my parents' house in London, so maybe when I'm back for a visit, I'll grab what I can. In the meantime, I'll look through what I've got here.

The Greatest Comics You've Never Read 001: Avengers West Coast #102

I tend not to give a fuck about autographs. I think I've purposely gotten, maybe, ten at most. Those were cases where I wanted to show my support to smaller presses (like getting Paradigm #1 signed in Chicago four years back), buying something from the creator and having it signed automatically, or when a work meant a lot to me and I wanted my copy of it to be all extra-special and shit.

That's why two years ago at a convention in Toronto, I had Dave Ross sign my copy of Avengers West Coast #102, which he drew. This comic has been one of the biggest influences on my own comic writing and how I view comics.

And five bucks says you've never read this amazing issue. Actually, it's not that amazing, but when I got in a twenty-five-cent bin when I was 13 or 14 or whatever, it was. Blew my fucking mind oh yeah.

AWC #102 is the final issue of the series and the lead-in to the new Force Works (which I never read). The issue details exactly why the Avengers West Coast sucks and should not be allowed to continued. The issue actually begins with Vision declaring the team is dead, so let's all get on with new business, while the Scarlet Witch tells him to go fuck himself, because four members of West Coast are sitting right there and they say the team is still active. And that's the entire issue: the Avengers trying to shut down the West Coast branch, because they're fuck-ups.

I love it.

The West Coast members present are: Scarlet Witch, War Machine, USAgent and Spider-Woman. The Avengers: Vision, Captain America, Hercules, Crystal, Black Widow, Black Knight, Sersi and Giant-Man. Gee, why would anyone think the West Coast team is kind of shitty? Could it be that Mockingbird just died, Hawkeye fucked off and the remaining members have been useless recently?

And then, Iron Man shows up, seemingly to defend the West Coast. Arguments are made on both sides. USAgent hates Cap, War Machine hates Iron Man, Scarlet Witch hates Vision, Hank wishes everyone would just get along, and Spider-Woman is sorry for being fertile.

Eventually, the decision to disband the team goes to a vote and things are tied up when it comes to Iron Man. His vote will be the one that saves the West Coast team--

So, naturally, he votes to disband it.

The end of the issue has the West Coast members quit the Avengers (including Iron Man), USAgent toss his gear into some water and Wonder Man show up to the abandonded, destroyed West Coast mansion only to have Iron Man tell him the team is no more.

Okay, it doesn't seem that great, does it? Well, trust me, it is.

What hooked me in was that here we had two groups of Avengers, characters that should, by all rights, get along--and they fucking hate each other. The cover depicts Iron Man holding USAgent back from punching Captain America (a scene in the book); War Machine quits right after Iron Man shows up; and they all eat lunch in between. This isn't how superheroes are supposed to act--I mean, yeah, some of the newbies look shit (War Machine, Spider-Woman, USAgent--but also Sersis and Crystal), but the Scarlet Witch qutting the Avengers? Iron Man following suit? What the fuck? This is the Avengers! What's happening?

By all rights, this issue should be shit. It's a quick one-off to shut down this book and set things up for Force Works, but Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning manage to make so much more of it. It's the sort of dark realism you would expect from a book dated January 1994, but it doesn't just go down that route for the sake of it, it raises questions of differing motivations and what being an Avenger means.

One of the issues raised is the events of Operation: Galactic Storm, which I guess was some mega-crossover involving the Kree and a decision to kill its leader, the Supreme Intelligence. That decision nearly tore the Avengers apart because of differing views. Except, the thing that they all seem to miss is that it wasn't the West Coast team that decided to kill the SI--it was a mixture of both teams, just as a mixture of each team decided not to participate. But, the West Coast team takes the blame. There's something below the surface that could destroy the team and they seem to think getting rid of the West Coasters will solve everything. Nevermind the fact that of the four Avengers we see prepared to defy Captain America and kill the SI, three of them are sitting on his side of the table. (Although, on a side note, why was Captain America against it? Oh yeah, it was during that time when everyone seemed to forget that he's a soldier and would kill when necessary. Whoops.)

This book also has a very familiar set-up: Cap on one side, Iron Man on the other, but with the roles reversed. Cap is the conservative authority figure, while Iron Man is the defiant rebel who won't let "The Man" keep these guys from doing what's right.

In another way, the book is very self-conscious in that the Avengers explain exactly why AWC is ending, why the group and the book doesn't work anymore. In a way, Abnett and Lanning are recognising that if they are going to push these characters into new and different places, it's almost wrong to use the Avengers name, because the darker, harsher 90s approach doesn't fit with that tradition. Ending the book is almost a sign of respect and a subtle jab at those who darken the iconic books when it doesn't fit.

Now, I got Dave Ross, the artist to sign my copy mostly because he was at the convention, but also because his work here is really quite good. Everytime I look at it, I'm amazed he isn't more well-known, because while the art suffers from the horrible costumes of many characters, he draws crisp, clean characters that are distinct and have realistic body language. His storytelling is fantastic and despite being a dense, text-heavy comic, it never feels cluttered--even with so many characters.

I'm not sure Avengers West Coast #102 is as great as I like to think it is, but it was an eye-opener for my younger self and much of it still holds up. Give it a look when you can.

Tomorrow, I'll discuss another comic--one that's not quite so brilliant, but I still love: Marvel Two-in-One annual #7.

52 Problems etc. (Volume Adam)

Today, allergies or a cold or SOMETHING has decided that I should not be able to do anything except sneeze and blow my nose. In the meantime, I figured I'd just pass along my roommate Adam's thoughts on the first volume of 52: giant pile of shit. He hated it, particularly the Montoya/"guy with no face" story.

*sneeze*

Dammit.

52 Problems, Etc. (Volume 2.714285714285, etc.)

Okay, so I'm a horrible blogger, you've got me. I quit in the middle of the post to watch a DVD of a TV show I've already seen. However, in my defence, I offer two words:

Denny Crane.

I've still got two plots from 52's first two volumes to look at plus maybe a few words on various minor bits that technically tie into the main plots but are still worth noting.

Evil Genius, Inc.

Another plot that didn't do much for me until it got going was the whole Will Magnus visiting Professor Morrow in prison, which lead into mad scientists all being kidnapped. My lack of interest could be that I've never given a second thought to the Metal Men. Wow, robots made out of a specific metal, colour me don't-give-a-fuck. I did like that Magnus visited Morrow, though--and that the fact he did it once a month allowed for this story to only show up every four issues without people wondering where it went. A smart little technique that worked with the format of the series.

When Magnus is finally kidnapped, I wish they had had the room to push his mental breakdown further and have it more drawn out. I love the part where he accuses his kidnappers of trying to unhinge him and they respond that they only want MAD scientists. Given more room to breathe, this plot could have been far more interesting.

Where volume two ends, we're not entirely sure what's going on, just that the scientists are on an island and given the freedom to do as they will--well, and the funny as hell scene where a woman scientist arrives. That scene is made by the exchange between Magnus and Morrow where Morrow says he knew a woman once, Magnus responds "...and?" and Morrow goes "...I just knew one, once..." I love it.

Really, this is a story that could have carried a series. The first four issues detailing the kidnappings and Magnus' breakdown and then just a monthly book of mad scientists doing fucked up shit on an island. I would buy that.

August General in Iron on Black Adam: "Wwwhhhhhhhhhhhh-PSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHH!"

Black Adam's arc over just these two volumes is interesting as he goes from extreme, Authority-esque ruler of a nation to an attempt to be Captain Marvel basically--which works now that Captain Marvel is the new Shazam wizard. Again, only half of the larger arc, but an interesting one.

However, one question does come up: is this story a subtle commentary one how women--and, more specifically, marriage--change men?

We have Black Adam, fucking asshole who shows little mercy for evil scum, bent on creating a world that works who then meets a girl, gives her magical powers and is talked into being nicer and friendlier and giving up his coalition of Asian superheroes. What's even more surprising is how quickly it all happens. In, what, three or four months, his entire attitude and outlook changes. All of which is purposeful because they need to set up Black Adam as the patriarch of his own little family so it can be taken away and he can go even further than before.

But.

Is it also a commentary on women?

It sure seems like it, because it does read like one of those overnight transformations we've all seen where a buddy meets a girl and, suddenly, he's an entirely different guy. August General in Iron says that when Black Adam quits the coalition (well, he says something more like "What the hell? YOU started this whole thing and now that you're married, you're quitting? PUSSY!").

I'm not sure how I read this, though. Is it sexist or simply reporting something that DOES happen? Or is it more a romantic take where it's about how family and love can change a person for the better? While Black Adam's buddies are all "You changed! You used to be cool!" he's in a loving relationship, which could very well be an improvement from who he was before.

My only complaint is that, come on, did they have to make Isis' little brother paralysed to DIRECTLY copy Captain Marvel, Jr.? They couldn't have had him seriously wounded in ANY OTHER WAY? It's just a little bit too cutesy for me. Another injury would have had the same parallelism, but not been so fucking obvious.

Please God Tell Me That's NOT the Justice League!

A few thoughts on other bits:

* one of my favourite parts of the second volume is Mark Waid's inclusion of the script for the Justice League issue where he makes a note that asks Grant about Bulleteer.

* that, and just how shitty that League is.

* The part where Alan Scott gets Mr. Terrific to join the new Checkmate confused the fuck out of me. It wasn't until halfway through when I realised who these guys were. And, even then, why I should care.

* The Martian Manhunter as a presidential aide is an awesome idea. THAT should have been the new series. Leave it to DC to ignore the awesome, mature, complex idea in favour of something typical and lame. (*cough*lexaspresident*cough*)

* Hey, the heroes who came back from space kind of disappeared, didn't they?

And that does it for this round. I'll continue when I get volume three--whenever that is.

I've Got 52 Problems but a Bitch Ain't One (Volume Two)

One of my biggest complaints about the technique used in 52 is that for a comic that takes place in real time, some stories just disappear for weeks without there seeming to be any time passage. Which is, in a way, more realistic as things shouldn't be constantly on the go, because who lives that sort of life? Oh wait, superheroes do. But, then again, if Ultimate Peter Parker was a real kid and the first hundred issues of that series really was JUST a year in his life, he would probably kill himself, so maybe not having these people have such hectic lifestyles is a good thing.

Then again, there's a seven week gap between when the trio of space-heroes (more on them soon) escape from that New God trapper guy and then show up again to escape from the planet. Are we to believe the New God guy didn't do something? Hell, that entire plot is stretched out waaaaaaaaaaaay too much when you look at it in real time.

The ironic thing is that Countdown's big problem from the issues I've seen is that while it doesn't take place in real time, they feel the need to cram every story into every issue. That's a weekly series where devoting an entire issue to one or two stories would work, while it doesn't always in 52.

But anyway . . .

Today, I'm supposed to look at volume two of 52, but I'll discuss volume one as well as most of my problems with the series in general from yesterday still apply in volume two--and while I do love Phil Jimenez's work, it stands out like a sore thumb here and only serves to make the rest of the art look like shit.

So, the plots. Let's address them one at a time:

Booster Gold Sucks Ass

Basic synopsis: Booster Gold tries to be a hero, his sidekick Skeets fucks up, he's shown to be a selfish fraud, is shown up by a new hero called Supernova, falls hard and then dies. Skeets it turns out is evil and he kills Booster's ancestor because he's evil.

If there is a "main story" for 52, this would be the strongest contender, I think, but that's also based on the fact that I know how the series ends. But, beyond purely plot reasons, is it worthy of being called the "main story" of 52?

No. Booster's story in these two volumes doesn't actually progress much. That's definitely purposeful in the sense that Booster isn't supposed to learn from his mistakes or become a better person (especially since this is only half of the story), but it's also strangely stagnant. This is an arc I have a hard time seeing taking place over this long a time period. What we see here is six months and, really, it seems like a month's worth of activity. That is a subjective view, though. We don't see Booster do many heroic acts nor much of his downfall. Because of the nature of the series, we hit the important beats, but skip over the small moments (for the most part) that would give this story more meaning and depth.

The two exceptions are Booster's encounters with Fire and Ralph, especially the former as its only purpose is to develop Booster's character and show what he spends his time doing when he's not out trying to play hero and sell ad space on his costume. The encounter with Ralph does that, but also segues into Booster's public shaming and fall.

The Supernova subplot is interesting, but not really, because you never get the sense that the character actally matters. He's a plot device--which is the risk with a mysterious character like this. We know nothing about him, he only shows up to advance other characters' stories and that's it. It's hard not to perceive him as a plot device. The sad thing is that the design of the character is fantastic and I would have preferred he turn out to be entirely new and become part of the DCU in his own right.

And Skeets being evil is kind of cool, I'll admit.

Irons V. Luthor

Steel once claimed to be Superman; therefore, he and Lex Luthor are enemies. I love that logic. And this storyline is one of the ones that interests me the most, because it's a great idea: Lex Luthor finds a way to turn people into superheroes and looks like a great guy to the public, while the heroes all know he's a douchebag doing it for his own gain.

Playing Irons against his niece is great, because it's another example of the brilliance of Lex Luthor as a character: he is a supervillain who doesn't act like a supervillain. He fights the heroes on completely different terms and he wins more often than not. Anytime I see him in that awful green and purple suit or actually fighting, I cringe, because it's so fucking typical. This is the guy who became president just to fuck with Superman, he does not resort to brawling like a common thug.

There is a big whole in this story (although is may be rectified) is that if this is a year where Clark Kent is just Clark Kent, he should be in there, being the Spider Jerusalem to Luthor's Smiler (which still bugs me about Lex as president, by the way). Obviously not the exact same, but that is how he can fight Lex on Lex's terms. That's the beauty of that relationship, because Lex ony thinks of Superman as the superhero, never realising that Clark Kent is there to counter him in that non-traditional sense. It's how Morrison approached the "Rock of Ages" arc in JLA where it's Bruce Wayne's skills that take down Luthor, not Batman's.

But I digress.

The idea of anyone getting superpowers and using them is really well done--and Luthor creating his own superteam is a classic way for him to give Superman and the rest the finger.

Why Should I Care about Renee Montoya????

As I said yesterday, the Montoya/Question storyline does nothing for me. I don't care. They're fighting Intergang, yay. They stop a suicide bombing, yay. They introduce a new Batwoman who Montoya used to sleep with, yay. None of it grabs me.

Lost in Space

This storyline sucked me in more than I expected. Actually, I expected to hate this story as it's three characters I'm not that interested in (okay, I do love Animal Man like everyone else who's read Morrison's run) in space where they encounter Lobo who I really don't care about. Not much there initially, but, somehow, it turned out to be really engaging.

And yet there's very little character development here. We have Animal Man, Starfire and Adam Strange on a planet, trapped. They have to get off. They find out there's a bounty on their heads when Devilance the Pursuer, a New God, captures them. They escape, use his weapon to power their ship and are then rescused by Lobo, who has found religion. That's actually pretty cool.

This storyline is actual the most minor one, I'd say, as it gets ignored a lot. Like I said earlier, there's a seven week gap where these characters don't show up at all. Most of the time, this plot gets skimmed over until Lobo shows up and then more emphasis is given--although, still, little development. But, it works.

Ralph Dibny, PI

This story is interesting in that the first half interested me, but the second half didn't. The first half, as Ralph uncovers what the cult of Kon-El or whatever wants with him and his dead wife, culminating in his attempt to bring her back to life is excellent. We see a desperate, depressed man gain a new purpose, given hope and then left a wreck.

Only to have him become the new Dr. Fate maybe? Yawn.

Aaaaaaaaaand my roommate is watching Boston Legal on DVD and I want to join him, so I'll finish this up tomorrow. Until then.

I've Got 52 Problems and a Bitch Ain't One (Volume One)

I can't remember how many issues of 52 I actually read cover to cover back when it was coming out. My dad bought it weekly, but I'm pretty sure sometime within the first month I went to skimming, if not during the first week itself. Honestly, the book didn't really interest me beyond my general desire to know what's going on in every book Marvel and DC publishes (which I usually do--even when I don't actively try to know what's going on).

But, hey, the trades are now coming out, so, fuck it, I'm on board the 52 bandwagon for these four collections. On Friday, I got the first two from the campus bookstore. Although, the bookstore tends to get most trades a few weeks after the comic shops, so no idea when I'll get the third one. May go to the local shop later this week, but that's no guarantee. But, today and tomorrow, I'll discuss the first two volumes of this "groundbreaking" series and judge it harshly because that's just the way I roll.

My first complaint, which is a minor one and not something that annoys me THAT much, but I'll mention it right away as it segues into praise: why no Grant Morrison commentary? After each week, there's a page of commentary by one of the writers, Keith Giffen, maybe an artist or Dan Didio--usually, it's Greg Rucka or Mark Waid, though. But never Grant Morrison, which kind of sucks.

Now, that said, the commentary and bonus art pages are a very nice addition to the trades. Commentary doesn't always work, but for a weekly series like this, it's fantastic to see what was going on behind the scenes a bit, especially once they get past the first month or so and the lead time shrinks gradually.

Another minor complaint is that JG Jones' covers are stuck at the back of the trade, most shrunk down so four can fit on a page. Now, this is probably because DC has (or will) releas(ed) a collection of the covers, but still kind of annoying. It would have been nice to have each cover WITH the text to begin each week--if only because the commentary often mentions the cover of that particular week.

Okay, that does it for the little stuff unique to the trade (oh, and JG Jones' covers for the trades are lovely, too), let's move on to the actual content of the series . . .

It's not that bad, actually.

It's not that great either, but it's not as bad as I thought it was while skimming.

Of course, certain storylines do nothin for me. The Question/Montoya one--who cares? Which is weird because yesterday I hyped this as a follow-up to Gotham Central with Montoya's story. But, yeah, I don't care. I've read two volumes and it really does nothing for me. I don't find any of the banter amusing, the characters engaging or what they're doing interesting.

But, that's to be expected. There are, what, a half dozen (maybe more, maybe less depending) storylines? What are the odds that I (or anyone) would enjoy every single one?

In all honesty, I didn't begin liking any of them until week four or five, at least. Momentum is a big part of the appeal here--which is why I think I'm more into the book while reading it in trade-form than I ever was while trying to read individual issues each week. Because of the weekly format and the inability to explore each story fully each week, reading the series in 13-issue chunks gives each story more depth and draws them out more. Where two pages for Booster Gold one week makes that story look small and lame, drawn out over 13 issues, it seems much more akin to the sort of story you'll read elsewhere.

Which is a strange irony of this book: a series that's whole gimmick was reading it weekly reads better in trade than individual issues.

One of the surprising strengths of the first volume is the lacklustre, medicore, middle-of-the-road art. It's not bad, but it's not great. And despite different artists coming in and out, they're all at around the same skill level with Keith Giffen providing a consistent guide on layouts. The storytelling is clear and does the job. Which, for a book like this, is obviously the main goal of the art. If they wanted showy art, they wouldn't have had Giffen on layouts or used these artists. They do bring in some bigger names as the series progresses, which actually bothers me, because that disrupts the flow. But, I'll leave that for future volumes, because the art in this volume is wonderfully mediocre and workmanlike throughout--one of the few times that will be a giant compliment, I know.

Wow, I haven't really discussed the plots, have I? Well, I'll get into that tomorrow with volume two as I can't really remember what happened in which volume since I read the first one on Sunday night and the second one today.

So, tomorrow, I'll discuss each storyline in some detail, covering the first two volumes, plus a few things specific to volume two.

Batman Thinks Your Favourite Hero is a Loser

I have been given a substantial amount of money from OSAP (government student loan). Far, far more money than I should have, really. What the fuck were they thinking?

But, that means I can now buy things. Many, many, many things. Like trades. Hey, look, I bought some trades on Friday and today I will discuss the first of the bunch:

Gotham Central: Dead Robin

The fifth and final collection of the series features three stories over eight issues. The eponymous lead story begins with the body of Robin found in an alley. Oh shit, not again! What is it with Batman and not being able to keep Robins alive? This new one means that only one is still alive and he's not Robin anymore! What the fuck, Batman?

Oh, it's not Tim Drake apparently.

But, the police have no way to know and they don't exactly believe Batman when he tells them that it's not the real Robin and to fuck right off, he don't abuse no kids. Except, of course, it is hard to trust him, because we all know about that girl Robin that died a few months before this story. But, then again, the police don't know that. Oh, the dramatic irony is so thick, you can eat it with a spoon!

That's actually something that I find I enjoy more and more about shared superhero universes: we, the readers, like to see all of these characters living in harmony with one another, knowing everything we know, but they don't. Most of them haven't even met--and if they did, it was just at some big megacrossover meeting where the important people planned stuff and the losers did the grunt work and probably got hurt, because, let's face it, most of these people suck. Like I'm supposed to believe Batman gives two shits about . . . I dunno, Beast Boy or Supergirl? No, he doesn't, because he's Batman and they're losers who fight loser villains that aren't even worth Batman's attention. He only cares about them in that they deal with those loser villains so he doesn't have to. He looks at them the same way he looks at the garbageman (now, don't get me wrong, I respect people who pick up garbage--more than I respect a lot of people like lawyers--but Batman doesn't, see--he's a rich motherfucker who can't help but think those guys are scum).

What was I talking about again?

Oh yeah: Batman only has time for, like, a dozen people and he even hates all of them. Even Superman. Especially Superman.

"Dead Robin" is actually a pretty entertaining story, but the ending left me yawning. It was just so . . . mundane. Dead Robins showing up all over the city (okay, in two places) and that's it? I would have actually preferred it turning out that Batman was training dozens of teens to be his unholy Robin army and a few just, you know, died. It happens. Whatever. Move on.

Then there's a self-contained issue that ties into Infinite Crisis that is about as good as you'd expect an issue that ties into a giant crossover to be.

The final three issues deal with Jim Corrigan, the corrupt CSU officer, killing Montoya's partner and walking, setting up her story in 52. It's a really well done story and ends in a way that leaves a bad taste in your mouth--but in that good way.

One thing I should mention is how great the art is. Kano and Stefano Gaudiano handle the art for "Dead Robin" and "Corrigan II" while Steve Lieber does the Infinite Crisis issue. It's all dark and pseudo-realistic, reminding me of Sean Phillip's art (who provides the covers). It works perfectly with the tone of the series and plots, heavy emphasis on mood and storytelling. Especially impressive is the fact that with a large cast of characters, I was rarely confused over who was who. That's something that a lot of artists can't pull off, but they do here.

Tomorrow, we follow-up Montoya's story in the first volume of 52.

Comics are closer now

One of the best things about Casa de Chadam (my new place) is that it cuts my walk to the nearest comic shop in half. It now takes me around 25 minutes to walk there, which does me just fine. Throw in browsing and stopping to buy a pop and it's an hour trip total. What I'm getting at is: I bought comics today. Strangely enough, I bought mostly comics I went there looking for. Who knew.

Amazing Spider-Man #544

The initial irony of this book is the cover: in the upper left-hand corner, it proclaims "Still only 399¢" . . . and, out of the eight comics I bought this week, it's the most expensive by a dollar. Every other comic is $2.99 US.

Oh, and then there's the irony of the cover asking "What would you do if you only have one more day?!" My answer: not read this comic.

I've always had a soft spot for Spider-Man and figured I'd check out this soon-to-be-landmark storyline and . . . this is it? Aunt May is dying, Peter won't let her be a charity case, so he beats up Iron Man and shames him into funding her healthcare only to run off at the end to find some magic cure to being really fucking old and shot. If the preview for next issue tells me anything, his first stop is Dr. Strange, which makes sense, because the only logical way to cure being old and shot would be magic.

One question: if Peter is in too much of a hurry to put on his costume before fighting Iron Man, why does he put it on at the end of the issue when she's in no better shape other than the fact that her bill is covered? Just wondering.

I do plan on buying the rest of the issues, because I'm a sucker and I do hope things pick up.

Infinity Inc. #1

Hmm, interesting. I really like the idea of a book that explores what happens to people after they lose superpowers. Not just superpowers, but the fame that came with them. Peter Milligan seems one of the best choices to handle this sort of book. I almost wish they'd just let him run with that concept and forget the standard supervillain bullshit that's obviously been thrown in. It's boring and drags the issue down. Damaged people trying to deal with the shitty hand they've been dealt is much more interesting. Hell, for me, the issue ended with Gerome (formerly Nuklon) with a doctor, discussing his obsessive narcisism and then--another Gerome shows up talking about Gerome begged him to pose nude the previous day. Then there's more stuff with the lame leather-clad, long-haired goth-esque bad guy and Natasha's feet disappear.

Max Fiumara's art is good, except for his John Henry Irons, who I think he draws a little too thing and a little too young. Otherwise, his art reminds me of a rough cross between Javier Pulido and Stuart Immonen (although the style Immonen used years ago when he was on the Superman books). (And if you're wondering where I got THAT combination, I don't know. Just the artists I thought of while looking at the art.)

Wolverine #57

I picked this up based on the recommendation of the guy at the shop. As longtime readers of the blog may know, I gave Blade a couple of shots and it failed to impress. But, hey, I did enjoy what Guggenheim did on Wolverine during the Civil War crossover.

This issue isn't bad. It begins with Logan in World War I, killing many Germans. And, then, in the present, he and an Atlantean we met during the Civil War arc, try to save Tony Stark from being killed--except it's a trap and Wolverine is left brain-dead. It's some solid entertainment and Chaykin's art is pretty good. He's a good fit for this book.

The Immortal Iron Fist #8

Writing? Top-notch. Art? Amazing. Concept? Killer. People not buying this book? Retarded.

Midnighter #11

Midnighter was a total dork growing up.

Giffen continues his story exploring Midnighter's past and his odd hometown. It's a solid arc and is actually taking the character out of his usual pseudo-Batman style. There isn't actually much here beyond another issue of introductions, in a sense. Am I the only one who's bothered by the fact that Midnighter (or should I say Lucas) is hanging out with some guy he went to high school with, but his inability to remember any of it isn't an issue?

Also, what the fuck does the cover have to do with anything? I hate generic, boring, bullshit covers like this.

Thunderbolts #116

Ellis has made Penance interesting. The fuck--?

I love how character advancement for Captain Mar-Vell was thrown in here. Apparently, he sucked at running a prison and fucked off somewhere. And then there's the "Who Wants to be Captain America?" one-page gag that doesn't actually fit into the current MU--but who cares. I wonder just how much this book fits into the MU really. The way that one-page bit works is suggesting that the reality show about people trying to become Thunderbolts could lead to a new person taking up the Captain America mantle as a member of the group. Won't happen, of course, but it's a fun little idea.

Another thing that occurred to me--and has bothered me since Civil War #1--is why do people place all of the blame for Nitro blowing up on the New Warriors? Was the team outgunned? Yeah. But, uh, Nitro was a guy who could blow himself up. Honestly, the fact that it took them this long to treat him like a serious threat is sad. He's a human suicide bomber who doesn't die. He could have been fighting the Avengers and still killed a shitload of kids. Just bothers me is all.

But, this is a solid book with lots of dark humour.

Iron Man: Enter the Mandarin #1

The fourth book in the "Joe Casey Fixes Stan Lee's Plot Holes" series. Take that, "The Man." HA!

I missed Eric Cante's art. Goddamn, it's good stuff.

Starlord #2

Heh. This book actually made me laugh. I love this group of characters as they all suck and rule in their own ways. And Giffen killed off Deathcry. Hoo-ha.

Hopefully, I'll get back into a routine and begin updating more frequently again.

Bitch-Slapped

Matt Brady bitch-slapped Mike Carlin in the weekly "counting down" feature over at Newsarama yesterday:

NRAMA: Over in the shelter - Amazons Attack ended this week, with the revelation that the Greek Gods are imprisoned by, if not by the entire forces of Apokalips, at least Granny Goodness, and Granny is impersonating Athena. So - the Athena that's showing up in Countdown, and has established a center to train women....that's Granny Goodness too?

MC: See... Who needs footnotes?

NRAMA: Probably the people reading Countdown but not Amazons Attack who think it’s still Athena. Moving along...

Lovely.