Thoughts On August's Comics

Here is it May and we get a glimpse into August through the solicits for DC and Marvel. Because I'm bored, I'm going to go through them and point out what looks good and what looks like shit.

First up, DC:

* Countdown to Adventure is a surprisingly intriguing title for an unsurprisingly shitty-looking book. With all of this "countdown" stuff going on, is this eight-issue series going to be followed with a book title "Adventure Comics" or something? Oh shit--did I accidentally spoil THAT surprise? (And how is Animal Man showing up in that book when Morrison said that the reason he appeared in 52 was that Vertigo trusted him to write the character, but no one else? Or is the DCU office pulling rank? Inter-office politics is fun!)

* Apparently, the cover to the new Black Adam mini is all non-kid-friendly because we're a society of pussies. It's a dead person--because kids never see dead people. It's not even that weird. Black Adam just comes from a different culture where fucking your dead wife is acceptable. What this cover teaches your kids? CULTURAL TOLERANCE. (Note: I am joking and not suggesting that the culture Black Adam comes from--isn't it Egyptian at its roots?--says having sex with dead people is okay. I wouldn't say that. But, if said culture does, while I find it totally fucking disgusting, I do respect your cultural beliefs and tolerate them like I was taught to by creepy comics as a kid.)

* Batman is apparently choosing the new group of Outsiders and taking five weeks to do it. He's doing in between shit that actually matters because he knows no one gives a flying fuck about the goddamn Outsiders. Seriously, is that book still around? Wasn't it jut an excuse to have Nightwing AND Robin in their own Titans-like group? Lame.

* Wow, a few months after Batman #666, which has a Hellish theme, Superman #666 comes out and has to do with Hell, too. Exciting.

* This Flash cover is pretty cool looking.

* Buy this:
DR. THIRTEEN: ARCHITECTURE & MORTALITY TP
Written by Brian Azzarello
Art and cover by Cliff Chiang
Brian Azzarello and Cliff Chiang join forces to tell the adventures of Dr. Terrence Thirteen, a parapsychologist who disproves reports of supernatural activity. In this story collected from TALES OF THE UNEXPECTED #1-8, Dr. Thirteen rounds up a group of the world’s magical beings to prevent strange forces from tearing asunder the very fabric of the past, present, and future!
Advance-solicited; on sale September 19 • 144 pg, FC, $14.99 US

I've heard nothing but good things about this little story. That, and the cover is fucking sweet.

* Can anyone honestly look at the current Justice League line-up and claim that it doesn't seem totally shit? I mean, Geo-Force? What is this, the goddamn Outsiders?

* Keith Giffen begins his tenure as writer of Midnighter, which should be interesting.

* New DMZ and Hellblazer trades are good things as well.

***

Now, Marvel:

* Ghost Rider is still around? Blade isn't. I don't mourn its passing as I gave it a couple of tries to impress me and it didn't.

* Iron Fist versus six other immortal weapons in a tournament to the death? How are more people NOT buying this book?

* Am I the only one who's bothered by the fact that the "Marvel Heroes" section of the solicits is always split into two? Here it's interrupted by "World War Hulk" and "Marvel Adventures." The fuck?

* Hulk's hitlist includes: Black Bolt, Iron Man, Wolverine, Ms. Marvel, the Thing, Cyclops, Spider-Man and Tigra? I almost want to buy this crossover to find out what the hell Tigra did to the Hulk to warrant a spot on his hitlist. Or is she there by mistake, being a target on another sort of "hit list" the Hulk has? No, really, because that's the only thing making sense to me. (Or, is there some other orange woman who looks kind of like Tigra I'm not aware of?)

* Looks like Aaron "Don't call me Machine Man" Stack is showing up in Ms. Marvel. I wonder if Ellis' version of the character will be the norm now (the look is the same).

* Wolverine has transformed into a fatass!

* Am I the only one who partly hopes that The Champions actually WILL be called "Series Title to be Announced"?

* Okay, I'll admit it: I'm looking forward to the new Thor series.

* This month's Wolverine count (not including any reprint material): eleven. At least. That's going by solicits and covers--and assuming in the cases of New Avengers and Astonishing X-Men.

That's it until next month. Not terribly helpful, am I?