Wednesday, April 25, 2012

EXCLUSIVE! Chad Nevett's Comic Book Mini-Reviews and Star Ratings for the Week of April 25, 2012

No work today, so I actually managed to hit the shop just after it opened at noon. That means almost immediate reactions to the (non-Avengers vs. X-Men) comics I bought today. Lucky you!

Captain America #10: What a terribly convenient end. Codename: Bravo (awful fucking name) has Captain America beaten and, then, gets a phone call and has to split. It's like Ed Brubaker called him up and said, "Yo, Bravo, you need to leave right fucking now, because you might actually kill that guy if you stick around and, guess what, the comic isn't titled Codename: Bravo, it's Captain Fucking America, and if he dies, then you're out of work." So, he left. Also, Steve was made weak by extra-sciencey nanothings that Tony Stark couldn't detect. You just know he's going to be asking whatever high price call girl he enjoys that night to hit him in the face extra hard. The best part of this issue is the Falcon screaming like a crazy man and making more sense than he has in years. [***]

Daredevil #11: Hey, everybody, it's official: this is the worst issue of Daredevil so far. Really. Except for when Mark Waid does a big rant on Geoff Johns for thinking heroes need tragic, blood-filled stories to be good heroes. I liked that part. Seriously: I have no idea what the fuck this crossover story was actually about and this issue was pretty goddamn terrible for its complete lack of plot, motivation, and reason why I should care. What was accomplished? [*1/2]

The Mighty Thor #13: Oh, it's like "For the Man Who Has Everything" but, instead of your greatest desire, it's just lame Lovecraft-inspired statue dudes. Oh, and Donald Blake (who may or may not be an actual human being) is... um... upset that he's not an actual human being... I think... Look, man, no one cares about Don Blake. We all like to pretend like we do, but we don't. There's a reason why he can disappear for a dozen issues and no one notices. Less Blake, more Thor fighting Lovecraft creatures. [**1/2]

Moon Knight #12: Well, that's a bit anticlimactic. It's always great to see the hero of the book need to call in back-up to beat the bad guy he's been trying to bring down for a year. Wait. No. No, it is not. I did love the awkward moment when Nefaria burst into the police station and starting bitching to the police chief about how he paid bribes to not have to deal with cops and WHY THE FUCK ARE THERE COPS AT HIS HOUSE RIGHT NOW? More comics need bad guys complaining about not getting good value for their bribes. Listen, man, it's LA... what did you expect? Also, are the voices in Moon Knight's head now Echo, Wolverine, and Iron Man? Spider-Man and Captain America are going to be so bummed out... Anyway, this series is over now and I'll miss it. Not so much the final couple of issues, but right around issues five through nine where it became this fun little hang out book where I'd stop by every month to chill with some characters I liked. This comic deserved a better ending. [***1/4]

Spaceman #6: Why this comic feel like it's running in place? [***1/2]

The Ultimates #9: Jesus... there's just so much going on here. It took a couple of passes by to realise what happend with Zorn, the nuclear weapons, and Dynamos. But, what's fantastic is that, after the threat is neutralised, we cut back to congress and everyone debating the use of nuclear weapons. Black comedy. And that ending... by the time Hickman leaves this comic, I'm wondering how there will even be a comic. Also: the People vs. the Children wasn't much of a fight, was it? Not that you necessarily expected it to be... Every new issue is something different from what I expect it to be. And pity every art team that isn't Esad Ribic and Dean White. [****]