Sunday, February 25, 2007

Random Reading: A Shitload of Books for Break Week Part 2 . . . BRIAN MICHAEL BENDIS AND THE NEW AVENGERS!

Another day, another five books. Today, we take a look at Brian Michael Bendis and that plucky little group of his, the New Avengers.

New Avengers #21-22, 26-27

“PEOPLE, FRIENDS OF OURS, OUR BROTHERS, ARE GOING TO GET HURT BECAUSE YOU WON’T PLAY BALL.”--Hank Pym, in conversation with Captain America, New Avengers #21

I haven’t read Civil War #7, but I’m thinking the fact that the reasons Captain America surrenders for were an argument used against him right from the get-go is a reason why people think it’s shit. Just saying.

Moving on . . .

I don’t know why, but I think I’m going to buy New Avengers and possibly Mighty Avengers from now on. I find it odd since the three issues of the series I bought, and reviewed here, didn’t really wow me. But, I feel compelled somehow.

I figured I would start by getting the two Civil War issues I missed. Especially since I only heard great things about the Luke Cage one.

#21, which features Captain America has Cap as a paranoid crazy guy, convinced the Falcon is going to kill him. So, obviously, once he knows that the Falcon is cool, he tries to recruit Hank Pym in Avengers fucking Tower. Because, you know, Captain America is a fucking retard.

One minute, he’s paranoid his sometimes partner is going to betray him and the next, he’s visiting the headquarters of the other side. He is a master strategist, of course.

In issue 22, Luke Cage makes the best argument against the registration act--namely that it has the government rounding up people because they’re different. Same argument used a shitload of times in the X-titles. But, rather effective here. Tony Stark is an asshole again.

The issue really only holds up for the first few pages before it becomes Luke Cage versus SHIELD. But, it’s a good issue.

Issue 26 answers the all-important question: where’s Hawkeye? I’ll tell you where: fucking an amnesiac Scarlet Witch. Hawkeye is the fucking man. You wish you were Hawkeye.

That brings us to post-Civil War New Avengers #27 where . . . okay, wait. This Echo lady is described as deaf, right? But then how come it seems like she can hear? She eavesdrops on Japanese gangsters and then understands Ronin while his mask is on (I did notice how Spider-Man lifted his mask, so you could make the whole lip-reading argument). So, she’s a deaf lady who can hear? Isn’t that like how Daredevil is a blind man who can basically see? Comics are fucked up sometimes.

Anyway, Echo was dressed up as Ronin and trying to take down some Japanese mafia shit and ends up getting killed by Elektra and the Hand. And then resurrected. While being brainwashed, the new New Avengers show up and rescue her. And Luke Cage kicks Elektra in the crotch. Because Luke Cage is hardcore.

The issue is decent. It’s got some nice banter (much to Iron Fist’s chagrin) and some good action scenes. It really just presents the question of who the new Ronin is. He/she has four lines. And according to the solicitations, we’ll find out who’s beneath the mask in a few issues. I, honestly, don’t really care. It’s someone who says “Yo,” though. And that’s how the internet broke in half.

New Avengers: Illuminati #2

Why is it that every time these guys get together, it seems like one of them is all “Hey, guys, we’re going to make sure Earth is safe” and the others go “But, that’s too much! We can’t do that! Who are we to do such a thing?”

This is the secret group that got together to do shit like this and then whines about having to do it every goddamn time. It’s the second issue (well, third, in a way) and I’m already sick of these assholes.

In this issue, they’re all pissed off because Reed has been collecting the infinity gems because he’s sick of some alien dickhead getting them together and making people disappear and shit. Um, doesn’t that sound like the smart thing to do?

I’m beginning to think that Namor is just a little whiney bitch. Every comic I see him in, he’s whining about something. It doesn’t matter what it is or who it is, he’s always gotta whine about how he doesn’t agree. "Whah whah whah! The humans are mean to the Atlanteans! Whah whah whah! The Atlanteans are mean to the humans! Whah whah whah! I don't fit in on the surface or in the ocean! Sue won't fuck me! The Avengers don't like me! No one likes me because I keep switching sides! Whah whah wha!" Namor is a fucking asshole and I’m surprised Reed hasn’t killed him yet. Seriously.

In the end, Reed has the infinity gauntlet and everyone, including the Watcher, is all “Reed, you can’t have that! No human should!” and like an idiot, he listens. Smartest guy in the fucking world there, people. Why not let him make a few things better while he’s God? That’s just me spit-balling here. Me using my brain.

Did enjoy the Watcher basically giving Reed the “I’m very disappointed in you” speech. Fucking take THAT, Mr. Fantastic!

And the issue ends with Professor X looking all ominous. Dun dun DUN!

Tomorrow: random mature readers books!